Hi my name is June, I am 47 years old. I had an adrenal gland removed in September of 2009. Since surgery have been very depressed, and unhappy about the way I look. After having surgery I do not like the way I look and feel. I have been eating all the wrong foods to try to make me fill happy, and it does not work, it just brings me down even more. I have no energy to do things. But after surgery I have been really sick. I have blood clots and I just had a wound vac removed last Monday. And I had to wear that for 3-4 months, and it was in my way, I had to sleep with it, shower with it, and wear it to work.
I just don't like the way I look and fill right now it just wont go away, and I hate it and me too.
it sounds like your past has had a few bumps in it, but at least it is behind you. it looks like you are making the right steps towards being happier and healthier by starting with FitDay. Congratulations on starting a new journey in your life i hope you can find the support and motivation you need here!
It sounds like you are worn down by the things you have had to go through. No one can fault you for that. Have you talked to your doctor about your depression, or to a therapist? Sometimes those feelings just don't go away on their own, and it can be hard to find the energy to lose weight when you are dealing with them. Food isn't going to do it for you...like drugs, it only helps comfort you in the short term while doing long term damage.
I'm hearing a person who is getting ready to take the bull by the horns and take a step forward...so no hating! It is one thing to hate your weight; it is another thing to hate yourself...no one deserves that. Obviously you have a lot of strength to go through all those medical issues. The person you are is not how you look...I hope you can honestly take a look at yourself and find your good qualities, because they are definitely there!
I hope you keep coming back. Here and elsewhere, take care of yourself, make the best choices you can, and ask for what you need. You don't have to do it alone!
And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.
First of all word on everything Cassie up there said!
I have battled health issues as well and totally used food to soothe myself during health crises. It was a never ending cycle that made me feel worse and worse. I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. One thing that might help is to know that you won't always feel this way and that you have made a positive step by reaching out for support. That is awesome and something not everyone has the ability to do.
Baby steps are the way to go (even though I know this I get so antsy with the baby step process.) In time I hope you can learn to love yourself.
I agree with everything said here, too. It seems to me that because of all the medical problems you have been dealing with, it is possible you are dealing with depression, too. Try to put a different frame around things, turn them around one step at a time. And hang around here for awhile and read posts. There are many inspiring people here who have all had their share of difficulties, including me! Eating better will make you feel better, too! Good luck and keep posting.
Cassie thank you so much for your words. I have beento my Doctor, because I do have anxity, and she suggested I go see a Theriapist. I did go last week and I am going back this Wednesday. My theriapst is wanting to work on my self asteam. I am going through a depression thing right now. I went to work this morning, and when I got home i scooped the snow off of the side walks. This is the first time, and it made me fell really good about myself. My daughter has got me on a diet that she is on. So she is keeping tabs on me. I have been on facebook a lot the last 2 weeks. And my daughter says this is my face book now. I have read everyones post to mine and it is making me feel a lot better today, I am actually happy this morning..
I haven't come across a negative comment here yet, and that has been wonderful. This forum has become a safe haven for me. I can vent, cheer, cry, whatever....and y'all have got my back. Doesn't matter if you have 10 lbs to lose or 300, every one of us is in the same boat. That's pretty powerful stuff.
As for health...been there done that. I've been battling chronic tendonitis and joint pain for 4 1/2 years, and it's only been within the last 6 months that I've finally found a medication that helps and I'm finally just beginning to feel like my old self again. I HATE that I can't do all the things I want to do, but I have to listen to the body and not push too hard. If I don't listen, I'll crash and it will be weeks until I get back where I was. So yeah, baby steps. The wound vac is gone and your sidewalk is clear, that's two victories.
If I keep starting over, eventually it will stick, right?
Current weight: 140
Goal weight: 135
Good for you, June. It's good to hear you sounding positive. You are making progress and once you take little steps, it's easier to build other little positive steps onto those. It sounds like you are doing what you need to take care of yourself. Sometimes it's hard to reach out and ask for help, but sometimes necessary...that was a hard lesson for me to learn for myself.
Lizzy, glad you found a med that give you some relief. I have tendinitis too (limited area, though...deQuervains) and it really frustrates me too that I have to limit things...especially now that I'm finally excited about being active!!
We take what we're given and change what we can, I guess.
And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.
I have just found this site. I beat myself up every day for being fat and unfit. I have been ill for 6 years after a medical error during surgery. I have just had reconstructive surgery on my stomach and it gave me a great lift not to see all the horrendous scars and dead skin I had before. I lost 6kg as well. When I weighed myself this morning I hade gained back 2 kg. My life is very sedentry because I am still recovering - got several weeks of treatment to go, but I dont want to get fatter. Its my 50th this year and I want to look good for it. I know exactly what yumajunebug is going through and illness and body morphia contribute to all your problems and make them seem worse. With this great site and the supportive people on it, I hope to finally make progress out of fatdom and into normality and I hope the same for yumajunebug. Be strong we can make it.