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Old 02-24-2010, 07:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Wink How can I better handle negative comments about my weight loss?

Hello, I am new to Fitday and would love some feedback on how others handle the negative comments they receive from others garding your weigt loss. My history: I moved 10 years ago to the town my family is from and currently live and started a desk job. When I moved I instantly started gaining weight. I gained 60 pounds total. Finally after trying several types of diets, I joined Weightwatchers and learned how to eat a balanced adn healthy way, joined a core training class, and started walking 30 minutes a day on off days. It took me a total of 7 months to lose the 60 pounds and have maintained my weight loss for a year now. Thats my history. Now that I have met my goal weight (and maintained it for a while) I have been asked why I still track my food and why I still attend meetings (even from fellow WW members). My leader has told me that I am too thin, even though I am completely within the suggested BMI for my weight and height (5'3 & 113 pnds). She even said my weight was scary. I am a very small boned person and I know that I am healthy, I feel great and my cholestarol (sp?) and blood pressure are great. I feel like I am constantly defending myself. Does anyone have any suggestions?
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Old 02-24-2010, 08:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chrystaljones28 View Post
Hello, I am new to Fitday and would love some feedback on how others handle the negative comments they receive from others garding your weigt loss. My history: I moved 10 years ago to the town my family is from and currently live and started a desk job. When I moved I instantly started gaining weight. I gained 60 pounds total. Finally after trying several types of diets, I joined Weightwatchers and learned how to eat a balanced adn healthy way, joined a core training class, and started walking 30 minutes a day on off days. It took me a total of 7 months to lose the 60 pounds and have maintained my weight loss for a year now. Thats my history. Now that I have met my goal weight (and maintained it for a while) I have been asked why I still track my food and why I still attend meetings (even from fellow WW members). My leader has told me that I am too thin, even though I am completely within the suggested BMI for my weight and height (5'3 & 113 pnds). She even said my weight was scary. I am a very small boned person and I know that I am healthy, I feel great and my cholestarol (sp?) and blood pressure are great. I feel like I am constantly defending myself. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Yeah just ignore them they are envious of you and see that your the type of person who when you start something you see it to the end and are very consensus about your life and your health.
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Old 02-24-2010, 08:56 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Congrats on your weight loss and maintenance!! I would say ignore them too, but it is really hard to do that. It sounds like you are healthy and happy (113 lb sounds like a great weight for your height - I'm 5'5" and my BMI says I could go as low as 110 lb). You could just tell them that. If you want to go further, tell them your doctor also says the same thing. You can also say that you want to make sure the weight stays off that's why you track your food. It sounds like it's a smart thing to do to me.

It sounds like weight watchers isn't providing the right support for you anymore or you need a new leader. I would say a support person should NEVER say things like that, even if it was true.
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Old 02-24-2010, 09:03 PM   #4 (permalink)
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i hope u do really well and loose your weight i am trying to loose my weight to but i am finding it really hard whilst going through a difficult breakup
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Old 02-24-2010, 09:11 PM   #5 (permalink)
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To Sexy-sarah19, this sounds like a great time to focus on yourself and do something positive for your health. Spite can be a great motivator. Suceeding at weight loss would be such a great feather in your cap. You CAN do it!!! :-)
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Old 02-24-2010, 09:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Perhaps the western world has become so accustomed to overweight people, that a "normal" sized person would appear really tiny! It is possible that some of these people may be concerned you have developed an eating disorder, or something, and taken the dieting thing too far. However, in my opinion you are doing exactly the right thing! Tracking food and attending meetings is how you stay at your goal weight. I wouldn't let those negative Nellies make you feel bad at all! You should be proud of yourself and don't let anybody take that away from you! Congrats!
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Old 02-25-2010, 12:40 AM   #7 (permalink)
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The response from your group members could be a bit of jealousy- which often happens among women who aren't comfy with themselves (regardless of size). Or, they could be expressing legitimate concern with illegitimate words. On one hand Americans are accustomed to seeing each other at larger weights, but we're accustomed to seeing stick figures on the runways- many of whom do have eating disorders. I'm 5'4" (an inch taller) and used to weigh 113 too- now I'm 121. At that time my BMI was on the edge of healthy. IMO as long as you're maintaining weight the healthy way, getting all your nutrients, & not over-exercising - and it sounds like you're doing ok in those areas - I wouldn't give too much weight (as it were) to their comments.

I'm with Wylie in that I agree that a support person shouldn't say certain things. I recall one of my friends, who also had a thin build, in OA years ago expressed concern that I was losing too fast. Not once did she tell me my loss was "scary," but she simply mentioned that I might bring it up to my sponsor. I never took offense to that approach.

Maybe you should evaluate what the WW group brings to you at this point, possibly look into replacing it with a different support system. Obviously WW has helped you do great things, but it could be the time to supplement it with a more positive resource.
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Old 02-25-2010, 04:09 PM   #8 (permalink)
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First, Crystal, congratulations for taking control of your health and fitness!

I have been where you are (not the weight but the comments). It feels very uncomfortable and embarrassing. Beginning and maintaining healthy eating habits and weightloss is very challenging. Tracking my food keeps me aware of whether I'm getting enough nutrients and calories or too much. This is foreign to most people in our society. Most people I know who have done WW gain it back eventually IF they don't keep up with the meetings or some type of accountability. You might want to go to a different meeting with a different group leader and explain your concerns to her if that's an option where you live.

I agree with what everyone's posted. As long as you're getting appropriate energy intake, not missing periods (if you're not menopausal), and not over-training, ignore the comments.
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Old 02-25-2010, 07:42 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments. I feel like I have found a great group of supporters.
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Old 02-28-2010, 09:02 PM   #10 (permalink)
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well first of all, GOOD FOR YOU!
As long as you are eating the right amount for you, being active and healthy and not starving yourself, hold your head high!
We all know that a lot of women have jealousy issues. I have been experiencing the same thing. And i just respond with "I eat very healthy, am active, and this is the happiest I have ever been." People usually don't carry out their negativity after that…. and if they do… yeah, it's because they are jealous, not "concerned"
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