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staceyalberta 02-22-2010 04:02 PM

kick me in the behind
 
had one of those days yesterday. for the most part it was great i'd say 90% a good day, BUT i then got into one of those moods. you know bf says/does something that is just a trigger & i dig in my heals & we are going to deal with it. you WILL talk to me & you will do it NOW...~sigh~ i then get all emotional. now i just feel blah...blah...blah...blah. i'm sure bf is glad to be away from me & back at his place for awhile. or that's just my stinking thinking. not sure why i react like that. why i just can't let stuff go at times. wonder if i'm pms'ing :eek: someone kick me in the behind & tell me to pull up my big girl panties & deal with it.

desertmountain 02-22-2010 04:30 PM

Hang in there Stacey
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by staceyalberta (Post 4110)
had one of those days yesterday. for the most part it was great i'd say 90% a good day, BUT i then got into one of those moods. you know bf says/does something that is just a trigger & i dig in my heals & we are going to deal with it. you WILL talk to me & you will do it NOW...~sigh~ i then get all emotional. now i just feel blah...blah...blah...blah. i'm sure bf is glad to be away from me & back at his place for awhile. or that's just my stinking thinking. not sure why i react like that. why i just can't let stuff go at times. wonder if i'm pms'ing :eek: someone kick me in the behind & tell me to pull up my big girl panties & deal with it.

Don't think about what your bf might be thinking/doing. Instead keep your thoughts positive and think things like--you stood up for what you believed were your needs in that moment. Kudos! You were taking care of yourself in the best way you knew how in that moment. More kudos!! Keep your thoughts positive because we all know how that downward spiral can quickly lead to stress-eating and you don't want to go there (esp when we're PMS'ing). It will all work out, just give it time. Meanwhile, give yourself lots of pats on the back as you pull up those big girl pants!

cjohnson728 02-22-2010 04:33 PM

Hey Stacey...

We all have those days! Congrats to you to realizing what your triggers are, and what behavior you want to change. That is half the battle right there! Kinda stinks to see it happening and know you are going to go down that same road again even though you know it never works, right? Yes, been there, done that. But you are strong and smart and you will get through this.

I think what you need today is to know that everything you do and have is a choice. You can choose your mental attitude regarding the bf; you can choose whether you put food in your mouth to cope with it; you can choose to do something really good for yourself. You can make absolutely any choice at all...but you are the one who deals with the consequence of the choice...good or bad. You can't make choices for your bf, but you can take care of yourself when you are dealing with him and it's not going so well. If he doesn't like your choice, that's his issue.

Ask yourself if you really want to waste the rest of the day's emotional energy on this. Stuff like this can hold you hostage and then boom, you lost a day that could have been better spent. Sometimes you need to give yourself permission to feel bad for a little while to get it out of your system and move on.

At the end of the day, you are the one looking out for you. And you deserve something good. :)

staceyalberta 02-22-2010 08:04 PM

you are both sooo right. thank you very much. exactly the kind of kick in the behind i need. nothing to be sorry about when standing up for myself & EVERY situation i have the choice how i will react. EVERY time! not dwelling on it. just soooo tired....sooo tired. have to love pms huh...lol. i'm almost certain that's what it is.

KeepOnCurvin 02-22-2010 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by staceyalberta (Post 4129)
EVERY situation i have the choice how i will react. EVERY time!

You're absolutely right with this! When you can really remember this and believe it, it helps!

staceyalberta 02-22-2010 08:35 PM

that's the key REALLY remembering & believing it. i believe it! i just don't always REMEMBER...lol

KimmyRocks 02-23-2010 01:08 PM

Consider yourself kicked, babe.
 
Honey, you might just need a change in perspective.
You know what might feel good...?

Do something to ensure YOU enjoy the time he's not at your place.


Did you want to see a movie that he wasn't interested in...?
Maybe you should rent it now.

Is there a dish you like to make that he doesn't care for...?
Sounds like a good plan for dinner.

Do you have friends he doesn't like spending time with...?
Find out if they're free to get together.

You can hog the bed, monopolize the remote, and burp out loud to your heart's content. Give yourself a pedicure... and use an outrageously fun color he's sure to notice when this blows over.

They may BELIEVE the world revolves around them, but that doesn't make it true. :p

staceyalberta 02-23-2010 01:19 PM

kimmy ~ oh no i'm not depressed that he's not here...lol. i totally do all that watch crappy tv that i like, eat what i like, watch chick movies, going to look at taking up belly dancing. WHAT bothered me is when i get angry to the point i want to dig my heels in i can get over the top emotional...lol. which i know is not good for ME! that's what i need to remember i have a choice on how i react, but i don't always REMEMBER that...lol. thanks for the words of encouragement.

KimmyRocks 02-23-2010 01:47 PM

OMG - bellydancing!
 
I took a bellydance class last spring and absolutely LOVED it! Have you taken it before?

I know I'm straying off the topic... I just wanted to say: your emotional reactions will sometimes take a backseat when you adjust your focus.

Plus, it always nice to have a pretty fresh pedicure at bellydance class. ;)

quinnesec 02-23-2010 02:58 PM

Stacey- One thing that I always try to remember is that those of us living in northern climates (please step forward and raise your hand!) have difficult months in February and March due to the lack of sunlight which depletes certain vitamin supplies (D or D3 maybe? ...don't remember) It gets hard to keep your chin up and little things set off BIG triggers. Try to get some natural sunlight everyday- it makes a huge difference! :)


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