Mern

Almeeker, best wishes with your brownie penance! Good for you for your dedication to working off any cheats.

Cybervox, I know a lady who has several chincillas for pets and she often talks about their different personalities, too. I hope Aki is much improved tomorrow. So cute that she would jump up on your dad's workbench looking for treats if she had the chance. LOL I got a big kick out of your talking about your eyes and canine teeth. Good that you can have a sense of humor. If we all had perfect bodies we'd all look alike and the world would be a boring place. Right? LOL Are you talking about eating real Easter eggs (hard boiled ones) or candy Easter eggs? I can eat the real eggs because I do a low carb diet, not low fat. Wow, you surely do burn a lot of calories with your work!

Julia, a 30 minute run and 40 minute walk should help burn off brownie calories quite nicely. Congrats on your nice scale number. I understand where you're coming from--I have to be so careful about not sabotaging myself when I get near one of my mini-goals. Two pounds to your goal weight! I feel a cyberparty coming soon! Puttin' on my happy dancin' shoes!

Mike, good for you. You can hold your own here. One of my favorite replies is "but I'm not most women" so I'm glad you speak up for yourself when it sounds like we're stereotyping men. LOL I'm glad you ask for directions--my DH often drives 10 miles to go 2! I hope you can get a good, comfortable night's sleep.

Goodnight, everyone.

quinnesec

Cybervox, Julia and Almeeker,

I blew it today, too!!! I was fine until supper and then my husband and I went on a huge binge all evening long. I'm not even going to attempt to count calories.

I know where my eating is coming from... it's partly emotional and partly because I've had to do a lot of physically hard work lately. I hate to be a downer, but I thought I'd just dump this here tonight and start fresh tomorrow. I hate being negative, especially here on a motivational thread.

As many of you know, I care for an elderly parent. Well, lately, she has been quickly and steadily becoming physically weaker and becoming much harder for me to handle. Although her mind remains incredibly sharp and brilliant, her body is getting tired. The decline has been alarmingly rapid in progression and it's taking it's toll on me, both emotionally and physically. So hard to watch. I came from a very small family, and lost them all, one by one, in my 20's with the exception of one brother (out of state) and my mom. So, basically, she's the last of my family that I'm close to. The realization of what's coming is getting hard to face.

I try to do everything that I can to keep her out in public, happy and social but it's getting hard for me, physically. I am her sole caregiver, as my out-of state brother said that "...he doesn't do well in unpleasant situations". When we get out, and she requests an unhealthy lunch, I feel like it's the least I can do, and my calorie budget goes out the window. Then, after being so darn physically active, caring for her and two houses, I'm really hungry when I get home. That doesn't even begin to account for the emotional eating that goes along with the whole sad situation.

So, Fitday Buddies, thank you for allowing me to vent. Like I said, I just wanted to dump this all here, put the negativity behind me, and start fresh tomorrow.

So sorry for the downhearted post! I promise I'll be rested and my 'ol perky self tomorrow, after a nice long sleep... then I have to work on the @!%&$#
prom dress!!! lol

See you tomorrow!

quinn

01gt4.6

thanks ladies for the advice. I ended up taking a muscle relaxer and passed out for a few hours. I just got up and I feel much better. I decided that if it didn't get better, or got worse during the night that I'd go to the hospital. Well it's much better. I can stand erect (I know I shouldn't say that word here b/c someone will take it and run) instead of walking like a cave man.

I was in too much pain to cook dinner so I ordered pizza for the chirrens before going to bed. I snagged a slice of of a medium pepperoni and it actually fit right in to my macros, amazing! It looks as if I'll finish the day just under 2000 calories, missing my goal by about a 100, but I didn't work out, so it's all good.

Mern, with the gas prices now days, someone would be crazy to drive in circles... lost. I had a GPS but it crapped out.

Time for a C&C (casein & cottage cheese) shake and back to bed I go.

cjohnson728

Mike, I'm glad you're feeling better. Hope you enjoyed your slice and that you continue to be injury-free tomorrow.

Quinn, I'm sorry it was such a dumb old day. I know it doesn't make it any better, but I've been there, too. Everything was going okay, and then suddenly, it wasn't going okay. Very often it is tied to emotional junk, and you are in an unenviable position of not only coping with the physical challenges of getting your mom out and about, but the emotional ones as well. I think the goals you've had lately that aren't related to eating are a step toward really taking care of yourself, and that will give you more strength to combat the challenges that will come up. What is it they say? The best defense is a good offense? Take care of yourself as best you can and the rest will follow...eventually. And feel free to dump it out here anytime!

Sometimes the hardest thing is accepting what you can change and what you can't. I have similar struggles with my mom, only mine are with her mental outlook, though physical is beginning to follow. Realizing that I don't have to make everything "all better" took some of the mental pressure off me, to a degree.

Cybervox, Julia, almeeker...it's past midnight, so your FitDay logs are already blank for tomorrow...wake up and start a new day, and you'll make it a good one, I know you will! Julia, impressive scale number, glad you feel right about it, too. Also happy that Aki is better. How was Mr. Screamy Pants today, almeeker?

Mern, hope it was a great day for you! Thanks for being here . Mexican was okay; I got a fish/shrimp special; I'm sure it was basted with butter but it wasn't swimming in sauce, and no cheese in sight. I guess it was about 4 oz. of fish, about 8 shrimp, had a quarter cup of rice, and one serving of chips and salsa. Ratios and calories all balanced out okay as near as I can tell. Anybody else get the feeling they're on a tightrope sometimes, leaning this way and that way, trying to keep in the middle?

Check in:

1. Calorie deficit of 350 daily, on average. 346, 353, 352
2. Balance the pie chart. Yes, Yes, Yes
3. 64 oz. water daily. 66, 70, 66
4. Total 5 fruits and veggies daily. 5, 5, 4
5. 25 grams fiber daily (no supplements). 28, 32, 37
6. Exercise 6/7 days. Rest day, Tennis, Weights

7. Be positive! Reframe stress and focus on what I'm thankful for (I'm truly in a funk lately; everything seems to be going wrong). Struggling, Little better, Pretty good today
8. Get shade garden done by end of weekend. Not yet
9. Work on cleaning garage before it gets too hot! Not yet
10. Paint one room's trim IFF no tourney this weekend. There's no tourney, so I gotta do it

That does it...I'm beat and headed for bed. Five hours of sleep last night, between the wild storms and the boy approaching the end of the school year and in a major panic over assignments, tests, projects, and practices. Last night was one of those meltdown nights when everything came crashing down. I think he wore himself out...and me, too!

Cybervox

Yay! Good day! Aki's back to her normal self, and is free of that stupid egg! And is currently wolfing down her antibiotic-laced breakfast as if she hadn't eaten in a week...

Julia - Mmmmm, brownies... not so much a problem for me, 'cos really good ones are hard to find over here, the best ones are Thorntons miniature ones when I can get them, and they're so gooey in the middle and dipped in chocolate and only 65 calories each. I used to have one as a treat if I'd behaved for the rest of the day.

Almeeker - it's taken a LOT of willpower for me to ignore the ice-cream I have in the freezer: Magnum Ghanas (milk choc and smooth hazelnut), Irish Cream or Limoncello Magnum Minis, Hagen Daasz something-or-other and real Cornish Clotted Cream ice-cream, the richest "plain" ice-cream in the country. Fortunately, I'm typing this at breakfast time, so it's not too tempting right now. My ice-cream fix substitute of choice for when I'm behaving is a smoothie made with frozen mixed berries, a splash of milk and some vanilla Slimfast powder. It's surprisingly good, and works as a light "meal" too. I can't have OJ or banana-based smoothies as the latter makes me sick and the former would probably kill me. Allergies suck sometimes.

Mern - Aki thinks hands make good perches. She'll sit on laps, climb arms, whatever. She's incredibly brave, and a good little flyer, and extreeeeemely fast. I'm hoping I'll have her for a good few years yet, life expectancy for chickens is usually <5 years for hybrids like Houdini and Sakura but up to 10 for pure- and rare-breeds like Aki, Polgara and Beldaran.
I should probably add my eyes are weird because they change colour - I have green, grey and blue pigments, but which dominates depends on my mood. When they're grey, stay away. Blue or turquoise is good, green is usually sick or upset, as they turn a weird greenish colour when I cry. And then they go lavender when they're bloodshot. I'm not talking brilliant blue or steel grey, but it's a clear difference. My fangs suit my personality, and add to the effect of my pale skin and aversion to the sun. Plus it's fun to watch peoples' faces the first time they notice.
Oh, and I'm definitely talking chocolate eggs! I work around chocolate and junkfood and practically next to 2 chinese take-aways/restaurants, 2 fish and chip shops, a kebab shop, an Indian restaurant and ACTUALLY next to Domino's Pizza, so I have to deal with temptation every minute of my working day. The smells are sooooo good, I'm often surprised I have to will power to NOT just corrall the next Domino's employee to walk in (they buy their lunch/snacks from my shop) and demand a stuffed-crust Texas BBQ and garlic pizza bread! Chocolate is rather harder to resist, especially when it's sitting a few feet away...

Quinn - I can't claim to know where you're coming from, but I have a vague idea. My mother was diagnosed with a brain tumour following a grand-mal type seizure shortly after I started university in 2000. It was benign, they operated, and she had radiotherapy over the following summer. She had 6-monthly MRIs, and got the "all-clear" in June 2006. 3 months later she collapsed in the shower and I had to break down the door when I heard the banging, which was her head against the side of the bath (it's an over-bath shower). She had a few more of these fits, but each time she was discharged that day. 2 weeks after her 47th birthday, 1 week before Dad's 57th, she went massively downhill. She had what looked like a stroke, but it affected her "wrong" side. It took them 4 months to diagnose - her brain tumour was back, but with a different morphology - basically physical type/appearance - instead of being one lump, it had sprouted tendrils through her brain and was inoperable. She was in the nursing home until she died the day after Valentines last year, and every visit to her was painful as I could see the deterioration but could do nothing. Emotional eating? I know that one too well. I put on quite a lot of weight during her last few months and those following her death. I didn't have a scale so I don't know how many, but it's taken me this long to fit back into some of the clothes I wore before. Apparently I gave my visiting relatives the day after she died really evil looks when I opened the door to them. I hadn't even realised, but I'm not surprised, having been expecting a courier AND being caught with the remains of an entire large, early-bought Easter egg that I'd filled with Dream topping, a thick, creamy, mousse-like whipped sustance you make from a sachet of powder and milk. I ate so much chocolate in those weeks, I'm surprised I still have all my teeth.

Mike - glad you're feeling more human, hopefully it's just a pulled muscle or something and rest will fix it. The unexplained and unusual pains are always the worst.

Cassie - Thanks She's back to her chirpy self, trying to escape, even tho she never goes further than the nearest patch of tasty green grass (which is getting harder to find as they keep digging it up or eating it). As far as the logs go, you have no idea how often I've quoted your signature quote, it's almost become a mantra every time I give in to temptation or have a bad day. I think I might print it on one of my magnetic sheets, along with "Smile More, Bitch Less" and put it on the fridge. And the freezer, before I decide that one scoop should become one TUB and get carried away with the chocolate sauce and sprinkles...

Off to see if Aki wants seconds of breakfast

blackrhino2

Cyberbox, you made it through what seemingly was the most intense and frightening time in your life. i'm sorry the diagnoses took so long to happen and that there was no cure, such a powerless feeling. your mom was lucky to have you nearby to be with her through the end. i'm glad you have the sweet companionship of your friendly chickens as I feel like would lift my spirits.

quinn, it's hard to see people getting weaker and weaker, knowing what is coming. i guess that is to be expected, only if we are lucky will we get to live a long and loving life like your mother's. trying to find the beautiful moments amidst the stress of taking care of your mom is something my parents spoke about. can you get an aide to come by for a few hours a day to relieve you of some of the stress? my grandma didn't want anyone coming to the house, but they needed help. My grandma became friends with the aides and it felt like a social time which she looked forward to.

almeeker

Wednesday Report Card

Health & Fitness Goals:

1. Eat clean and kept calories 1,350-1,600, 50 push-ups for days I'm over. 1,521, 1,514, 2,561,
2. Drink 96 oz of water. Y, Y, Y
3. Exercise 6 hours. 0 min, 60 min, 60min (total 2:00)
4. Calorie deficit of 3,500 for the week. -503, -959, +266 (total -1,462)
5. Carbs 45% or lower, Protein 30% or higher. (55c/28p), (50c/30p), (53c/19p)
6. Log food and report every day even weekends. Y, Y, Y
7. Grain free 3 days. M-YES, T-YES, W-NO

Non-Fitness Goals:

8. Get DD ready for State finals on Saturday. Y, N, Y,
9. Call the autobody place and set up appointment. N, N, N, But I did make an appointment to get the oil changed and the tires rotated, and will likely make the body shop appointment at that time.
10. Call my doctor's office and work out the prescription problem. N, N, N
11. Smile more, bitch less and (stealing from Crimpet) instantly drop into a 2 minute plank for infractions. NO,YES & NO, NO, but I'm better today.
12. 1 hour of cleaning in the basement. N, N, N
13. Order more parts for the money pit, um I mean elliptical. N, N, YES!!!
14. Housework:
Monday: down-stairs bathroom, up-stairs bathroom, laundry
Tuesday: kitchen, stairwell, hall, laundry
Wednesday living room, bedroom laundry
Thursday dining room, bedroom, laundry
Friday den, master bedroom, laundry
Saturday, State Finals, gone all day
Sunday, basement, cupboard, laundry

Mr. Screamy Pants did not come yesterday, on Monday his mother very clearly said to me that she was bringing him Wednesday, but never showed up. She's very sleep deprived (he screams all night too) so I just roll with it. I don't normally have him on Wed., so I figure she just had a momentary memory lapse. Anyway he's here today and has already spent several minutes screaming in his sleep. I've had a couple of good nights so I'm well rested and can take it today, yesterday would have been rough because I rolled out of bed really bitchy. Crazy as it sounds the brownie binge actually improved my mood, maybe grain-free makes me extra cranky or something. I'm grain-free today, well that's the plan anyway.

Cybervox I'm so glad the Aki is better!!! I don't need to tell you that having a sick loved one is stressful, sounds like you could write a books on the topic. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom, she was very young. My grandmother passed away last June, she had 6 kids but was especially close with her youngest daughter. My Aunt put on weight during grandma's decline and passing, I don't know how much, she's tiny so it's probably looks like more than it should. At one point I overheard one of my uncles picking on her about it, I wanted to slap him upside the face. I have never heard of those ice cream flavors you have, but I want a dish (and I really mean several tubs) of it right now. I love ice cream, so usually I have to avoid it. Right now in the fridge we have a tub of Breyer's chocolate, it's only 90 calories for 1/2 cup, but even that is a problem for me cause I can eat the whole thing in a sitting.

Quinn I'm so sorry to hear about your mother, I know you two are very close. I've not been in your shoes firsthand, but my own mother has really wonky health issues, and my in-laws are in even worse shape. So my day is coming, I can feel it. Big cyber hug to you.

Mike I'm glad you feel better this morning. Usually when I get that sort of biting pain, the muscle relaxant is very effective. Hopefully it doesn't come back, take it easy on those workouts for a couple of days. And if it does come back, get your achy feaux-varies (good one Terri LOL) seen by a doctor.

Cassie, wow you did well at the Mexican place. It's usually an up-scale situation for me. I always try and get a salad with out this and this and that. But at our local place the waiter doesn't speak English, so I always end up with most of it on my plate anyway and then I can't keep myself from eating it. Their chips are the death of my plan too, homemade white and blue corn tortillas, fried in oil, piping hot and heavily salted. OY!!! So bad and so good all at the same time. I will say that their salsa isn't nearly as good as mine, which is unfortunate because it's the lowest calorie part of the meal. Oh bugger, now I'm hungry for Mexican, it's looking like I'll have to poke around in the kitchen and see if I can drum up a taco salad for lunch. Yummmm....

Mern, I didn't get out the Bob DVD this morning, instead I did Workout 1 on the 30-Day Shred and a 30-minute step aerobics tape from the early 90's. I haven't done it in forever and now I remember why!!! The moves are really complicated and I feel like a clumsy dancing elephant, there's a strong possibility that I'm going to trip and hurt myself BAD. Maybe I should take a lesson from your book and concentrate on learning the moves one or two minutes at a time. Although I don't know if I can take that perky instructor for longer than 30 minutes.

Mern

Being so good because I want to be under 220 lbs. by next Monday--the "new decade" is long overdue...

Wednesday report:

Calorie limit 1600 1297, 1573, 1254
Calorie deficit 1037 (I include exercise calories burned) 1399, 1076, 1442
Carbs less fiber limit 35g 17.9, 24.8, 19.9
Protein target 120g 125.3, 161.5, 121.5

Artificial sweetener limit 1 pk. per day 0, 1, 0
Sugar free candy limit 1 piece per day 0, 0, 0

Water 64 oz. YES YES YES

Exercise 1/2 hr. 6 days YES YES YES

Cybervox

Just a quick one, off to work in a minute...

almeeker, you don't WANT to experience these flavours, they're dangerous! Diabetes runs in my family (just dropped a slightly late diabetic chocolate egg to the latest member to be diagnosed) so sugary things are a potential downfall for me in more ways than one.

Aki is now back in the main chicken run, but I've given instructions that she be put back in isolation overnight so she's hungry when I get up and willing to eat her antibiotic-laced food. Once she's had that, she can go back with the rest. I think I'll keep it up until she finished her meds, but it'll keep her "in the flock" whilst allowing me to get her medicine into her and her alone.

Gonna be over my limit today thanks to the (formerly) remaining slice of yesterday's cheesecake, and I think Rob is bringing in one of the 3 I made for the party that never got eaten. I say "think" 'cos he loves it and would eat the lot straight out the pot, but I promised him a big one all to himself for his birthday in July if he brings the little one in for the guys at work. The Boss gets none, he's a selfish, lazy, greedy b*st*rd and doesn't deserve it. I'll probably have some, and there goes my deficit for the day...
Oh well. They say nothing tastes as good as fit (yes I know they say thin, but I always think of waifs when I hear it) feels, but this cheesecake comes close...

quinnesec

Good Morning ladies and men who have sprouted honorary ovaries,

After a very bad eating day, yesterday, I am determined to get back on track quickly before I let my emotional eating take over, long term. As we all know, it doesn't take long before the pounds return. I'm just not going to let that happen. Made my husband take the last of the Easter candy to work today. lol

Cassie,

Thanks for the smile with your "dumb old day" description. Perfectly worded, my dear. It was a dumb old day! Sometimes I just feel the weight of the world on my shoulders with her. The only time she leaves her home is if I take her out and it's a lot of pressure. Someone told me that we were the "sandwich generation"; having parents who need care in their 80's, while still raising children at home. Part of my melt-down yesterday had to do with a brother who has always been "too important" to help. In my late teens and early 20's, he was too busy receiving multiple degrees and starting a career to help me with two other family members. Now, he is "much too important" to his company to help me with our mother, for even a weekend. Yet, he has time to travel for pleasure to 5 countries in the past 4 years. As I was spring cleaning my mom's home Monday, she told me that he was too busy to visit her over Easter because he was exhausted from a recent vacation to yet another exotic country. Ugh... It was the proverbial "straw that broke the camels back". Hope you were able to stay out of the path of the last round of storms.

Cybervox,

Thanks. Your post meant a lot to me. Sounds like you went through a lot at a young age. I did the same in my early 20's, caring for my dad. Although it was horrible, it made me an incredibly strong, independent person at a very young age. It makes you grow up in a hurry, that's for sure. I think I'm a much better wife and mother today because of it. Still pondering the hens... I could use a mental diversion. I'm struggling terribly with emotional eating right now. It's been a problem my whole life; especially when I get over tired or feeling sorry for myself... currently both. I just have to jump out of the "pity pot" and move on. It would be very easy to start eating, non-stop, right now. I make my own limoncello, by the way... hmmm... may have to make a batch!

Julia,

Thanks. Yes, you're right. She only wants me to care for her. It's not that she's selfish, by any means. It's a pride thing. She's a WWII, Depression Era lady who is fiercely independent and proud. She doesn't want anyone to know that she can't do for herself. I'm just taking it one day at a time, but I know with my 3 bulged discs, decisions will have to be made one day. She doesn't want to live with us- she wants to be in her own home. She just doesn't understand how hard it is for me to "keep all of the plates spinning in the air" without something crashing.

Mike,

Muscle relaxants are wonderful things, aren't they???


Food and Fitness:

* Eat clean and stay close to 1400 calories. Y, over by 10 malted milk balls and 2 peeps. lol No, a very "dumb old day".
* Lots of water. Y, Y,Y
* 3-4 fruits and veggies a day. 2, 2, 2
* Limit breads and cereals. N, acceptable, N

Personal Goals:

* Must finish beading prom dress for Saturday!!! Today, 3 hours in; about 3 to go, should be done today
* Take a break from spring cleaning this week. Taking today off... back's killing me. Y, N, Worked at mom's yesterday
* Learn to relax! Tell myself it's ok to sit quietly and read or do nothing at all. I don't have to be "accomplishing something" all of the time. Stop feeling guilty about taking time off. Finishing the dress, then taking the day off with a heating pad. (Haha... that didn't happen.) Looks like another busy day today. Very busy day yesterday.
* Present a positive attitude to others. Y, Y, Sadly, no.