Lifestyle change buddy

[thisbirdcantsing]

Hello Everybody!!!
I decided 2011 is my time to start a lifestyle change, not just a diet.
I am not following any particular diet plan. I am just eating more healthy and exercising. Keeping track of my calories, carbs, fats, proteins etc...on this site is wonderful---so far.
My problem is...I am 46. I am in a relationship with someone who is a twig and can eat anything he wants. He doesn't care about being healthy---becuase he is skinny he thinks he is healthy. So, he doesn't want to eat healthy or exercise. He wants me to cook---big, comfort food meals. It is so hard to cook and not eat, so I stopped cooking altogether---much to his dismay. I have two daughters (18 & 21)---who of course like to eat junk.
I really want to eat healthy, but it's difficult to go it alone in a household filled with people who eat whatever they want. It's also hard to get motivated to exercise alone.
I live in Southern California (in the desert)
I started my lifestyle change: Yesterday 1/10/2011
Although I have started a new diet almost every week throughout my life.
I am 5'10"
Start weight: 254.6
Goal Weight: BMI calcultor says between 128-174. I know 128 will be way too thin for me so I am shooting for the 174
Goal date: Whenever I get there...hopefully by 1/1/2012
Hopefully I can find some buddies on here that are dealing with the same issues I am---for support/recipe swap/friendship.

[restaurantlady]

I just wanted to respond because no one else had. I'm 53 years old and started my getting healthy journey about 7 years ago. I am now a runner - I completed 5 half marathons last year. I am still 25 lbs overweight, but part of that is menopause and hypothyroidism, which I am being treated for.

As far as food, if you do the grocery shopping, buy healthy food and nothing else. If you do buy something unhealthy, try to make it something you don't like. As you know, there are lots of unhealthy skinny people out there. I'm lucky that my husband is on a healthy lifestyle journey too, so we don't have any junk in the house.

Hang in there. Little changes can make a big difference. Good luck!

[almeeker]

I responded to this one yesterday, but somehow it didn't post. You and I have some serious similarities. I'm 42, have 3 daughters (mine are younger 9, 7 and 4), but they also like their junk food. My husband is not a stick, but he had the nerve to lose weight every time I got pregnant so he's now maybe 70 pounds lighter than he was when we got married. When I started this I weighed 244.6lbs, but at 5'-2" I'm much shorter than you and had a BMI of 44 , and all the charts say I should weigh 115!!!

I hear you on the "cook but don't eat blues", so I decided before I even got started that I was NOT going to cook 2-3 separate meals and eat lettuce while everyone else ate juicy cheese burgers and greasy fries. There have been moments of serious mutiny in this house, but what is good for the goose is good for the goslings and the gander. So in my kitchen if you do not volunteer to cook, you eat what's put on the table and keep your complaints to yourself. It took a while, and some kicking and screaming, but I've held out long enough now that they've stopped complaining, they have favorite dishes, and they are even making much healthier choices away from home. You just have to decide that you are not only in charge of your own health, you are in charge of theirs as well.

I still cook a lot of the old favorites, only now I use healthier ingredients. The only bread in the house is whole grain 35 calorie/slice or 100 calorie slim buns. Don't like my bread, buy your own and hide it! Pasta is whole wheat or squash, pizza is made with whole wheat flour, part skim mozzarella cheese and turkey pepperoni. Well you get the idea. It takes a while and you have to be really stubborn with the fam, but they will either join you or do their own cooking (either way you win).

My mother works in an ER and meets tons of people/families every day, she has determined that the overall health of a family is most often determined by the mother - a healthy mom = healthy family, unhealthy mom = unhealthy family. The pediatrician I take the kids to, said exactly the same thing, and she's never met my mother. So mom, you gotta do what you gotta do, good luck.

[PamelaCorkle]

Congrats to the beginning of a life time of healthy rewards!!

I too am restarting, but with a different perspective, my quest for a life changing lifestyle.

It must be body, soul and spirit. We humans are equipped with all three so I am trying to focus on improving each area. I figure soon I'll be seeing growth in all areas which will shine through for all to see.

I'm 50 and weigh 175. That much weight on a 5'2" frame is just too much. I have problems with high blood pressure and issues sleeping at night. I am determined to find the healthy me inside.

I know I've used my extra weight as a security blanket. Now though, being married to a great husband I am feeling more protected than ever in my life so am beginning to search the healthy me out!

I send positive thoughts and prayers your way for a positive step each day. Set those goals you can reach and reward yourself for doing so.

You are worth the effort!!!

[rmdaly]

Wow! I was just going to start a thread like this one.

I am almost 45 and my BMI says that I am normal, although I would like to lose 10 - 15 lbs. I run, bike, swim, do various classes and weights. I am vegetarian and try to cook and eat my own meals and I try to eat the recommended number of fruits and veggies.

The problem is my husband. He is 46 and a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy. His BMI puts him at overweight and close to obese, but he really doesn't look like it. He won't grocery shop with me or plan any meals. Instead he "supplements" my shopping by bringing home donuts, bagels, sugared cereals, cookies, candy, etc. If there is a healthy choice such as wheat bread vs white, white rice vs. brown or full fat vs reduced fat, he always picks the poor choice. He rarely eats fruits or vegetables. He plays on a volleyball league once a week and occasionally goes for hikes, but doesn't exercise regularily. He has high blood pressure that he controls with medicine. He loves candy and thinks getting a giant candy bar for a gift is excellent. He often brings me candy and cookies and then makes me feel guilty for not appreciating them.

I worry about him and I also selfishly don't want to have to take care of him when all these bad habits catch up to him and he starts having more health issues. I don't want to nag him because I have been heavier and he never said anything about me. When I do try to say something, he tells me that I am "obsessive" about excercise and always on a diet.

Our 11-year-old son thinks his dad is really fun and they will often stop before school at a coffeehouse for chocolate croissant and hot cocoa. My son is now getting a little tubby.

I don't know what else to do except keep doing what I am doing and try to be a good role model to my son as he is eating donuts. I just wish that my husband would see just how badly he is eating.

I can't exercise with my husband or son so I joined a gym and met friends. I joined a running group. I have been swimming with the same group for 10 years. Now I have lots of people to exercise with. When I run with my girlfriends and we are training for a marathon, we might run and talk for two hours or more. I wish I could do that with my husband, but he choses not to. Find people that like to do what you do and it will be fun.