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Old 01-08-2011, 08:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Temptation

How do you cope with going out especially if your friend is 50kg, loves her food and wine and orders all those things you really want but need to stay away from. I managed to avoid the wine by insisting on driving and refused the dessert by claiming I had eaten a large lunch I don't want to avoid our get togethers but oh the temptations.
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Old 01-08-2011, 09:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Those situations are tough. Wine especially, because it lowers your inhibitions and makes you more likely to give in to food choices that you otherwise wouldn't.

Maybe you could consider calorie cycling, or zig zagging. Here's a website you can use to figure out your calories; Calorie Calculator - Daily Caloric Needs click on the 7-day calorie cycle tab. On days you know you're going out or having a special meal, you can make that one of your higher calorie days and then end up compensating for it the rest of the week.

Everyone is different, but this worked a lot better for me than sitting there cranky because I was eating something I didn't really want, watching someone else have what I would like to have ordered. It's not a license to go overboard, but it does let you loosen the reins a little on any given day.

Maybe you could suggest another activity instead of eating out, or suggest a place where you know you can get a meal you would enjoy that is within your plan, as well.
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Old 01-08-2011, 09:52 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I have that problem when meeting up with my sisters. Now, we get together to walk, or go to the bookstore, or meet at a coffee house. For now, I just try and avoid the places that tempt me too much. I know I could resist, but at the end of the evening I feel deprived and a little sorry for myself. So right now, I avoid.
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Old 01-09-2011, 10:05 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thanks for advice. I'm going to suggest she comes to my house first for tea ( then I can diet proof the meal myself) before we go on to the pictures or somewhere.
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Old 01-09-2011, 01:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I have the same problem with eating out. Being prepared and commited before going out helps. Last night I was going for dinner and drinks with friends. I volunteered to be the DD and avoided all alcohol - sometimes easier than just having one. Before we went out I wrote down my intention -- to eat right and have no alcohol. I ordered an old favourite off the menu and brought 1/2 of it home for today. About 2 hours before going out I had a smoothie so I wouldn't be overly hungry. Today I am down 1/4 pound despite my evening out.

Right now I am highly motivated. I will need all that motivation for holidays the end of the month.
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Old 01-09-2011, 02:02 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi there lizards13 i totally understand what you mean. I feel temptation all the time and find it very difficult not to give in but although it is a struggle but the sense of feeling in control and the fact that when you get home and are proud that you didnt overdo it then it can sometimes feel as though it was worth it. Certainly in my case.
I have friends who are very slim also but i explained to them that i really want to succeed and they dont put any pressure on me if i choose a healthier option. But yes the food there infont of you can be hard to resist. I struggle if someone is eating and im not but as long as im having something im ok. This is something i admit i need to change but thats another subject! Some though like my mum (yes thats right my mum likes to sabotage my efforts) will make the excuse like "oh its a special occasion" or "just once wont hurt" but i know myself that if i do overindulge then im going to spend too long dwelling on it and once turns into twice etc.
Maybe take it in turns to suggest where to go and plan ahead what choices you can make. Maybe check out the menu beforehand. It may sound like too much but to get to our ideal weights these are the things that at first need practice and then begin to come as second nature.
It is hard but it wont always be and once after a few times of going out and doing well then you will grow in confidence that you can be strong in almost any food situation that arises in the future. Good luck.
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Old 01-09-2011, 03:03 PM   #7 (permalink)
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My motto is just 'know thyself." I tend to be an all-or-nothing eater so I'm either binge eating all the foods I love or having none of them at all. I know that seems crazy to some people, but I apparently lack the self control to have just a small portion (something about how once my mouth knows how delicious it is...I just can't say no to more). But if you're the kind of person who really can do small portions or just a few bites, then having a little won't be hard.

As for going out...I find it's easier to help decide or suggest ahead of time what restaurant to go to. If it's an old favorite, you know the menu and can pick te healthier choices. If it's an unfamiliar restaurant, see if they have their menu posted online. When I'm clear headed and thinking, it's easy to look through the options and make a healthy choice...that way I'm prepared when I get there.

Or what about opting to have dinner/lunch at home with your friend? You could make food and then you know exactly what's in it.

I'm celebrating my own victory over temptation...yesterday I got together with old college friends for our annual post-christmas get together. I successfully refused any offers to have a beer or glass of wine and I even turned down dessert. Dinner portions were appropriate and I resisted the extra eating just because it was still on the table in front of me. May have overdone it a bit with the chips and guacamole appetizer, but I forgive myself due to the other accomplishments.

It's all about deciding how bad you want it...and giving yourself non-food rewards. Maybe a great new pair of running shoes or a new pair of jeans (hopefully a size smaller than before!). You can do it and we're all here to help with words of encouragement.
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Old 01-09-2011, 03:27 PM   #8 (permalink)
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All great ideas. thanks everyone. I guess it's the -watching my friend wolf every type of high calorie food down and still stay slim- that's hard when we're out. I'll bring some of your ideas into our next get together. She doesn't deliberately try to sabotage me, she just doesn't understand how easily i can add pounds if i'm not careful, but I will think it all out beforehand and keep things under control. I am 9 years older than her but have been mistaken for her mother on a few ocassions when we've been shopping for clothes, now that hurts.
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