cjohnson728

Hi Darlean, the first thing that came to my mind when you asked about ideas to keep your spouse happy was that this is not your job! He's in charge of his own emotions. Presumably he is a grown up, and after some sulking and grouching, he will come to realize that it is what it is and he can choose to be happy or unhappy. The former is much more fun. Your job is to take care of you, sweetie, so throw the guilt feelings out the window. As you said, he will get over it. If he doesn't, he's the one who's miserable, right?

One therapist I have co-led groups with in the past used to use two hula hoops to do a demonstration. She would lie them on the floor overlapping a bit. The overlapping area represented the relationship between two people, but there were also two areas that did not overlap...your time for yourself, and your husband's, for example. Too much overlap isn't healthy for the relationship, nor is too little.

Like everything else in life, finding the balance of how much is the key.

This may have been too much info; if so, I'm sorry. I just feel really strongly about people being able to take care of themselves without being manipulated by others. Good luck .

mambogirl81

Darlean, I agree with Cassie. You can't be responsible for his happiness. As wives,we need to do our best to respect our husbands and show them love, but we can't control their happiness. You are taking care of yourself so that you can be a more physically and emotionally fit wife that in the long run will benefit him. My husband has acknowledged that I handle life better when I have had time to exercise and I am eating well. Keep doing what you are doing and love him where he is at even if he doesn't see the point of what you are trying to do.

Report card for Monday

1. 64 oz. of water- Close
2. No processed foods.-Yes (except a 1/2Tbs) of store bought salad dressing
3. Push myself more in my workouts. Yes
4. Log my food.Yes
5. Not eat before bed. Yes


Have a great day ladies!!

canary52

) More fruits and veg and healthy food: Yes
2) 64 oz water minimum: Close
3) exercise 3x minimum this week: ish- home abs
4) continue "serious" writing YES
5) drop clothes at Goodwill NO
6) get some decent sweatpants and jeans that fit. NO Wearing DD's pretending they "ended up" in my drawer when really I took them

I am so glad you all survived your kitchen misadventures; MunaAmin yours sounded intense and scary. But I'm sure yours was no picnic either, Cassie.

Darlean I have a DH who would love me to hang out and watch movies with him all the time and has even been put out by my time devoted to my teaching or other jobs. But I need a life too and have to claim time for myself. Not only do I need it but my marriage needs it. Too much "togetherness" and I am a bear to live with. We have to have ourselves; no one, not even our kids, should claim ALL our time. If they take it all, we have nothing left to give.

Also, sometimes our spouses get threatened when we try to move to a different place, even a healthy one (maybe your DH feels a bit insecure like you'll get too gorgeous and leave him) but keep on fighting the good fight and maybe your example will help him examine has own life and habits (maybe not) but it's still worth pursuing for yourself!

BTW I love the concept of cookies as a gateway drug; it's true!

gmantych

Report for Monday:

1. Drink at least 80 oz of water. I need more but I am having a hard time getting much in at work. So I am going to try and build myself back up.Yes
2. Eat 1400-1500 calories per day.-NO
3. Exercise 45 minutes daily-No only 30
4. No Sweets!!! yes until late last night when the fudge round called my name!!

cjohnson728

Checking in:

1. Stick to my calorie limit. Yes Yes
2. No cookies...gateway drug! Yes Yes
3. 2-3 big blue bottles of water daily. Yes Yes
4. Exercise...daily this week to get back in the habit. Yes Yes
5. Increase the protein (been at about 25%). No, still at 25% today Yes, 31%

MunaAmin

1) drink more water, and at least 1 herbal tea a day yes
2) eat between 1800-1900kcal 1975
3) no more than 50g of fat a day (eliminate nuts as much as possible) 61.2 i must be doing something wrong
4) continue with bike and dvd on alternating days yes, both yesterday
5) be firm and not give up in support of DH in his quitting smoking (top priority)
6) send a letter to grandma, with the pics i promised her today i will

DH found his keys yesterday, briskly got dressed, left house at 2pm and returned well after midnight. He actually went to see his mates that he hangs out with, who happen to be all smokers I'm not sure what approach to adopt, if one-lost-battle-does-not-make-the-war-lost, or rather just wash my hands over this matter.... but I love him and don't want to lose him for cancer
my weight loss stopped, it's pretty frustrating, I'm stuck at 168. I don't walk nowdays, and i can see what a difference it makes. I will start walking next week again, when DD starts at school.

almeeker

Tuesday report card:

1. Drink 96 oz of water daily. YES, YES at least I think so the kids keep stealing my water bottle
2. Exercise Mon-Sat and make a plan to seriously train for the race in May. YES, YES
3. Eat between 1,350 and 1,650 calories. 1,587 1,868
4. Keep my proteins at or above 35%. 33% 19%
5. Throw out the rest of the gingerbread cookies, I don't even like them! NO, NO
6. Complete at least 6 things every day from the list of "Things that must be done". 8, 4

Darlean

Thanks for all the help and support. I read today an old proverb that was helpful: if you fall down seven times and get up eight, you're succeeding. Not giving up, no matter what, really is key...in everything. Going to try and get to the exercise room at work on my lunch break today. We only get 30 minutes, and it's a shared room with another agency. Usually the "die hard" weightlifting men are there and really grumble when one of the ladies wants to work out. They think we're invading "their" space. This time of year is hard, too, because of all the New Years resolutions and the fact that it's only in the single digets here and you can't really go outside to run. I'll just have to get there early and do my thing and get back to work. I'm curious...almeeker, what's the April Fool's challenge?

farahb7

i guess i have to add another goal to my weekly challenge, to sleep early at night so i won't be misreable in the morning! Man!!!!! i am sooo sleepy and had such hard time waking up this morning it's not even funny!

1. drink 2 L water yes yes
2. log my food yes yes
3. exercise at least 5 times/ week no yes
4. keep my protein at 35-40 % no yes
5. come up with some hobbies? no still not

mambogirl81

Checking in for yesterday:


1. 64 oz. of water- Close,Yes
2. No processed foods.-Yes (except a 1/2Tbs) of store bought salad dressing YES
3. Push myself more in my workouts. Yes,YES
4. Log my food.Yes,Yes
5. Not eat before bed. Yes,yes

Can someone tell me how to make the words in color? I can't seem to figure it out.