I'm being honest when I say...
11-04-2010, 11:51 PM
#1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 292
I'm being honest when I say...
At the moment I've been lacking motivation. I'm still attending the gym 6 days a week, I'm eating well-ish and I'm still seeing losses on the scale. But like with everything that I start, I'm struggling to see it through. So I thought I would start a little honesty thread to remind myself just how far I have come. Some of it is a little TMI, but I am just being honest!
Please feel free to share your pre-weight loss habits too, maybe it will help others who are struggling to stay motivated!
Here I go -
I'm being honest when I say; pre-weight loss that in a week I could typically consume 2 loaves of white bread, a whole block of cheese, 3 take-out dinners, 2 family sized pizzas, 2 sticks of garlic bread, 2 500ml tubs of Ben and Jerry's, 3 family sized chocolate bars, 1 box of sugary cereal, 10lts of Pepsi/Coke, 5 servings of fries, 5 bags of chips/dip, 1 whole cheesecake, 2 boxes of jaffa cakes, 2lts of vanilla milkshake, 2-3 servings of fried chicken and sweetcorn with nearly every meal. BUT NOT ANYMORE!
I'm being honest when I say; pre-weight loss I would feel faint after running up the stairs. I had lower back pain when walking for longer than 1/4 mile, and my ankles would tingle or swell.
I used to get friction sores and large spots between my thighs, under my belly and under my breasts, and these areas would usually weep and smell because of these. BUT NOT ANYMORE!
I'm being honest when I say; that currently my diet still isn't perfect, and sometimes I do feel like I could've done more in the gym, but I have come a long way and I can be nothing but proud of my achievements. I still have a long way to go, but I feel like I have made a solid foundation, and even if I slip up I know I have the strength to dust myself off and try again. I just need to remind myself of how I used to be, and that will be enough motivation to kick me in the butt and stay on track.
Please feel free to share your pre-weight loss habits too, maybe it will help others who are struggling to stay motivated!
Here I go -
I'm being honest when I say; pre-weight loss that in a week I could typically consume 2 loaves of white bread, a whole block of cheese, 3 take-out dinners, 2 family sized pizzas, 2 sticks of garlic bread, 2 500ml tubs of Ben and Jerry's, 3 family sized chocolate bars, 1 box of sugary cereal, 10lts of Pepsi/Coke, 5 servings of fries, 5 bags of chips/dip, 1 whole cheesecake, 2 boxes of jaffa cakes, 2lts of vanilla milkshake, 2-3 servings of fried chicken and sweetcorn with nearly every meal. BUT NOT ANYMORE!
I'm being honest when I say; pre-weight loss I would feel faint after running up the stairs. I had lower back pain when walking for longer than 1/4 mile, and my ankles would tingle or swell.
I used to get friction sores and large spots between my thighs, under my belly and under my breasts, and these areas would usually weep and smell because of these. BUT NOT ANYMORE!
I'm being honest when I say; that currently my diet still isn't perfect, and sometimes I do feel like I could've done more in the gym, but I have come a long way and I can be nothing but proud of my achievements. I still have a long way to go, but I feel like I have made a solid foundation, and even if I slip up I know I have the strength to dust myself off and try again. I just need to remind myself of how I used to be, and that will be enough motivation to kick me in the butt and stay on track.
11-05-2010, 12:45 AM
#2
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Schaumburg, IL
Posts: 259
Congrats on what you have achieved so far. When anything takes a long time, its hard to stay motivated 100% of the time. Maybe you can change up your work outs?? Take a fun class, try something new, etc. That way it won't seem as tedious and actually fun to help keep you more motivated. Or even when I just work out with someone, I tend to push myself more since mentally I am competing with them.
Re-read what you wrote and I think you will see many great reasons to stay motivated from all that you have achieved and changed in your life. Keep up the good work!
Re-read what you wrote and I think you will see many great reasons to stay motivated from all that you have achieved and changed in your life. Keep up the good work!
11-05-2010, 01:03 AM
#3
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chicagoland, IL (USA)
Posts: 300
that took courage!
WeightLoss Boo -
I am so impressed. It must've taken a LOT of courage to be that honest with yourself about how you were eating and to share with the rest of us. It sounds like you truly have the right attitude for long-term success. The struggles and set-backs along the way will only lead to an even greater sense of accomplishment once you succeed. Weight loss is hard!
I am so impressed. It must've taken a LOT of courage to be that honest with yourself about how you were eating and to share with the rest of us. It sounds like you truly have the right attitude for long-term success. The struggles and set-backs along the way will only lead to an even greater sense of accomplishment once you succeed. Weight loss is hard!
11-05-2010, 03:58 AM
#4
FitDay Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 56
YOU GO,GIRL!
YOU ROCK!
YOUR THE BOMB!
GET DOWN WITH YOUR BAD SELF!
I have just appointed myself to be your personal cheerleader.
Motivating yourself can be hard. But just remember you are strong! This is just a temporary lapse. This will pass.
YOU ROCK!
YOUR THE BOMB!
GET DOWN WITH YOUR BAD SELF!
I have just appointed myself to be your personal cheerleader.
Motivating yourself can be hard. But just remember you are strong! This is just a temporary lapse. This will pass.
11-05-2010, 05:25 AM
#5
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,742
Boo girlfriend you are doing so well, I'm really proud of your achievements as well. Just because you are momentarily feeling a little less wind in your sails does not mean that you are sliding back in to old habits. You're doing incredibly well, it's just time to spruce up the motivation. Sometimes I feel like in my mind I never thought I could have gotten this far so I didn't really plan for what to do next. Is it the same for you? I think that I need to set some new goals for myself, and make a plan to get there. What's that quote? Nobody plans to fail, they just fail to plan.
BTW I'm impressed that it took you a full week to eat a block of cheese, I used to do that in 1-2 sittings. I could have eaten everything on your list no problem and added to that a full sack of vegetables covered in several pounds of butter and cheese and maybe 2 more quarts of ice cream. I don't know what a Jaffa cake is, I'm assuming it's like a Debbie Cake here in the States? They come 5-6 to a box, I used to buy a box for the kids and a box for the mom and they never lasted more than an hour in our house.
I used to get yeast infections in all the same areas you're talking about, it was almost like I was allergic to my own sweat. Worse than the infection was the curative cream, it's like putting fire on a sunburn. But not anymore.
I think the most profound realization on health/wellness that I've gained this time, is that it's okay to slip, it's not okay to give up.
BTW I'm impressed that it took you a full week to eat a block of cheese, I used to do that in 1-2 sittings. I could have eaten everything on your list no problem and added to that a full sack of vegetables covered in several pounds of butter and cheese and maybe 2 more quarts of ice cream. I don't know what a Jaffa cake is, I'm assuming it's like a Debbie Cake here in the States? They come 5-6 to a box, I used to buy a box for the kids and a box for the mom and they never lasted more than an hour in our house.
I used to get yeast infections in all the same areas you're talking about, it was almost like I was allergic to my own sweat. Worse than the infection was the curative cream, it's like putting fire on a sunburn. But not anymore.
I think the most profound realization on health/wellness that I've gained this time, is that it's okay to slip, it's not okay to give up.
11-05-2010, 05:29 AM
#6
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 305
and I'm being honest when I say...
Thank you for sharing, this is a wonderful post. Weightlossboo, keep up the hard work. You won't regret keeping up these healthy habits. Small changes over a long time will hopefully eventually become ingrained in us so that we won't go back to our old ways. We need to be good to ourselves!
I have been a lifetime member of weight watchers for 4.5 years and I still have suffer from binge eating and secret eating. This doesn't happen every day and I'm not overweight, but it just riddles me with guilt and makes me upset. Sometimes binges increase my motivation by making me want to cut back but then that of course leads to another binge. The middle road is so hard for me to find!
I also feel upset at the idea that for the rest of my life I will struggle with my weight, I feel like it will always be on my mind. I wish I could free myself from this.
I'm not really sure how to get to that sweet spot of really trusting yourself to stop eating when you aren't hungry. I think it is a long road.
I find that tracking what I eat definitely works to lose weight but I personally feel like this also adds to the mental struggle I have with food.
I have been a lifetime member of weight watchers for 4.5 years and I still have suffer from binge eating and secret eating. This doesn't happen every day and I'm not overweight, but it just riddles me with guilt and makes me upset. Sometimes binges increase my motivation by making me want to cut back but then that of course leads to another binge. The middle road is so hard for me to find!
I also feel upset at the idea that for the rest of my life I will struggle with my weight, I feel like it will always be on my mind. I wish I could free myself from this.
I'm not really sure how to get to that sweet spot of really trusting yourself to stop eating when you aren't hungry. I think it is a long road.
I find that tracking what I eat definitely works to lose weight but I personally feel like this also adds to the mental struggle I have with food.
11-05-2010, 06:39 AM
#7
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chicago Suburbs
Posts: 262
Boo, thanks for being so honest!
It made me take a look at where I came from and ( other than yesterday) where I am heading.
I didnt eat all those same foods mainly because even though I was a huge secret and binge eater, I was still finicky about what I ate. I hated vegetables, so that never entered the equation. I truely dislike ice cream, so that wasnt a problem. My problem was, I could buy a huge birthday cake ( any time of year) and just eat the frosting. ( I dont like cake either). I would easily eat 2 packages of bacon in one setting. I made this macaroni salad ( 2lbs of elbow mac, 2 cans tuna, and a ton of mayo..) and eat it all in one day. And that was just for starters. I would eat a full dinner of smoked sausage, mashed potatos ( with huge amounts of butter) or make pork chops just to be able to make the gravy ( only kind of gravy I like).. toss out the chops ( or feed to dogs) and then make an entire bag of Ore Ida french fries, cover them in the gravy and call it dinner.
So I think if most of us were honest, we have pretty much come from the same place. I also had the chaffing, couldnt wear panty hose because I would rub the inside of my thighs raw and bleeding. Under my belly flap, would also get a yeast infection from the sweat, and it wasnt until I was finally ready to begin this journey, someone pointed me to monostat's chaffing relief powdered jel. It DOES work wonders!
It had gotten to the place ( THIS IS WHERE TMI comes in, so pass over if squeemish).. I couldn't 'clean myself' like I used to after using the bathroom so had to get a hand held shower head and take a LOT of showers per day.
Now I dont need to do that anymore. I can walk more than 1/4 of a block without being out of breath. I have started actually LIKING veggies ( well OK, not ALL veggies, but some). I have gone from being a computer potato 18 hours a day to swimming 2 - 3 times a week, and other exercise the other days. I am starting to see some results from my efforts.. not so much when I look in the mirror but certainly in inches and the scale, and see little things like cheek bones and that I actually have wrist bones and knees!!
So yes, Boo, it took a lot of guts and strength to assess your situation, but I thank you once again for doing it and doing it so well it didnt hurt quite so much for us to look at our own situation!
It made me take a look at where I came from and ( other than yesterday) where I am heading.
I didnt eat all those same foods mainly because even though I was a huge secret and binge eater, I was still finicky about what I ate. I hated vegetables, so that never entered the equation. I truely dislike ice cream, so that wasnt a problem. My problem was, I could buy a huge birthday cake ( any time of year) and just eat the frosting. ( I dont like cake either). I would easily eat 2 packages of bacon in one setting. I made this macaroni salad ( 2lbs of elbow mac, 2 cans tuna, and a ton of mayo..) and eat it all in one day. And that was just for starters. I would eat a full dinner of smoked sausage, mashed potatos ( with huge amounts of butter) or make pork chops just to be able to make the gravy ( only kind of gravy I like).. toss out the chops ( or feed to dogs) and then make an entire bag of Ore Ida french fries, cover them in the gravy and call it dinner.
So I think if most of us were honest, we have pretty much come from the same place. I also had the chaffing, couldnt wear panty hose because I would rub the inside of my thighs raw and bleeding. Under my belly flap, would also get a yeast infection from the sweat, and it wasnt until I was finally ready to begin this journey, someone pointed me to monostat's chaffing relief powdered jel. It DOES work wonders!
It had gotten to the place ( THIS IS WHERE TMI comes in, so pass over if squeemish).. I couldn't 'clean myself' like I used to after using the bathroom so had to get a hand held shower head and take a LOT of showers per day.
Now I dont need to do that anymore. I can walk more than 1/4 of a block without being out of breath. I have started actually LIKING veggies ( well OK, not ALL veggies, but some). I have gone from being a computer potato 18 hours a day to swimming 2 - 3 times a week, and other exercise the other days. I am starting to see some results from my efforts.. not so much when I look in the mirror but certainly in inches and the scale, and see little things like cheek bones and that I actually have wrist bones and knees!!
So yes, Boo, it took a lot of guts and strength to assess your situation, but I thank you once again for doing it and doing it so well it didnt hurt quite so much for us to look at our own situation!
11-05-2010, 10:54 AM
#8
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 351
I'll preface my reply by saying that I'm biased in that I've received much encouragement, motivation, and compassion from the ladies that have posted in here.
Canary, I believe you when you say that your intention was not to be mean in asking how people could consume said quantities of food. And I say this as someone who used to binge eat - when you say that it seems 'punishing,' you're absolutely right. In my opinion, there are a lot of emotions and baggage that come with being bad to yourself - be it through drugs, overeating, drinking, etc. However, this thread was not about the "why" these ladies used to behave in those ways - it's about WHAT those bad behaviors were - emphasis on "were." I don't think that your comment was intended to be mean-spirited, but I don't think it does much in the way of encouraging other women to come clean about where they've been and how far they are from those self-destructive behaviors. Again, in my opinion, I'd bet that using this thread as a 'confessional' of sorts was very cathartic for these women and could be for others that choose to use it as such. Any comment that would lead one to even think for a moment that they will be taken to task, as it were, for former bad habits, is going to make even the most brave of us second-guess about opening up. If you haven't experienced what these women have, or if you've never binge-ate, I can respect that perhaps your wonderment comes from curiosity - I just feel, from my heart, that more sensitivity would have been due to these courageous women who posted.
Forgive me my soapbox; as I said in the beginning, I'm biased and admittedly a bit defensive of these ladies. My own intention is certainly not to start any kind of online battle, for sure. Just my 2 cents.
Canary, I believe you when you say that your intention was not to be mean in asking how people could consume said quantities of food. And I say this as someone who used to binge eat - when you say that it seems 'punishing,' you're absolutely right. In my opinion, there are a lot of emotions and baggage that come with being bad to yourself - be it through drugs, overeating, drinking, etc. However, this thread was not about the "why" these ladies used to behave in those ways - it's about WHAT those bad behaviors were - emphasis on "were." I don't think that your comment was intended to be mean-spirited, but I don't think it does much in the way of encouraging other women to come clean about where they've been and how far they are from those self-destructive behaviors. Again, in my opinion, I'd bet that using this thread as a 'confessional' of sorts was very cathartic for these women and could be for others that choose to use it as such. Any comment that would lead one to even think for a moment that they will be taken to task, as it were, for former bad habits, is going to make even the most brave of us second-guess about opening up. If you haven't experienced what these women have, or if you've never binge-ate, I can respect that perhaps your wonderment comes from curiosity - I just feel, from my heart, that more sensitivity would have been due to these courageous women who posted.
Forgive me my soapbox; as I said in the beginning, I'm biased and admittedly a bit defensive of these ladies. My own intention is certainly not to start any kind of online battle, for sure. Just my 2 cents.
11-05-2010, 11:42 AM
#9
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 292
Thank you everyone for replying on my thread. It's great to know that others out there aren't afraid of being honest, and it's refreshing to see a range of opinions!!!
canary52 - I don't think there was ever a time during my binging where I felt like throwing up, but I did feel mentally awful after each episode. Kept telling myself 'I'll never do that again!!!' but it was a promise I wasn't able to keep, until now. I'm struggling to pinpoint where I started to consume such excessive amounts of bad food. Though my Mum is overweight, and I have a young brother who I feel she makes poor food choices for. Maybe it all started before I was old enough to understand that I would regret it later in life?
GameGal - I'm so glad that I'm not the only one suffered those 'TMI' type problems. Saying that in the nicest way possible, it's definitely not something I want others to have to go through! Still can't believe I used to take it all the chin and carry on with those horrible things though. It's so cringe worthy. Well done for getting over them too!!!! Let's hope it's nothing we have to experience again!
almeeker - When I started on this journey the thought of failure never even crossed my mind. But now that I'm doing it, and getting closer to my goal each week I'm becoming scared of the end result. I still hate how my body looks. Yes, when I'm in my casual attire it's an improvement, but when I'm naked and I can grab a slab of flabby gut flesh and my boobs are sagging even lower than at 300lbs it makes me so miserable. I understand that my years of bad habits have taken a toll on my skin and I will never have a 'perfect' body, but I don't think at 150lbs I will be happy looking like a baggy scrotum. And I have no means of paying for cosmetic surgery to have anything lifted or cut away. It makes me look at things from a different perspective, and I'm starting to wonder if I am gearing myself up for a lose/lose situation..
Thanks everyone else for your comments and kind words.
It really does give me encourage, and I'm able to celebrate my achievements without underestimating them or feeling like I need to be humble about them! You're all awesome!!!
canary52 - I don't think there was ever a time during my binging where I felt like throwing up, but I did feel mentally awful after each episode. Kept telling myself 'I'll never do that again!!!' but it was a promise I wasn't able to keep, until now. I'm struggling to pinpoint where I started to consume such excessive amounts of bad food. Though my Mum is overweight, and I have a young brother who I feel she makes poor food choices for. Maybe it all started before I was old enough to understand that I would regret it later in life?
GameGal - I'm so glad that I'm not the only one suffered those 'TMI' type problems. Saying that in the nicest way possible, it's definitely not something I want others to have to go through! Still can't believe I used to take it all the chin and carry on with those horrible things though. It's so cringe worthy. Well done for getting over them too!!!! Let's hope it's nothing we have to experience again!
almeeker - When I started on this journey the thought of failure never even crossed my mind. But now that I'm doing it, and getting closer to my goal each week I'm becoming scared of the end result. I still hate how my body looks. Yes, when I'm in my casual attire it's an improvement, but when I'm naked and I can grab a slab of flabby gut flesh and my boobs are sagging even lower than at 300lbs it makes me so miserable. I understand that my years of bad habits have taken a toll on my skin and I will never have a 'perfect' body, but I don't think at 150lbs I will be happy looking like a baggy scrotum. And I have no means of paying for cosmetic surgery to have anything lifted or cut away. It makes me look at things from a different perspective, and I'm starting to wonder if I am gearing myself up for a lose/lose situation..
Thanks everyone else for your comments and kind words.
It really does give me encourage, and I'm able to celebrate my achievements without underestimating them or feeling like I need to be humble about them! You're all awesome!!!
11-05-2010, 12:00 PM
#10
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Chicago Suburbs
Posts: 262
Boo- you need to wait a good year after you get to your goal to see how much your skin does indeed shrink and how much muscle you can fill it in with.
Even if you had a way to get the skin removed, all doctors and insurances require you wait like 2 or more years before they will consider it for 2 reasons:
1) to make sure you arent going to yo-yo in your weight and
2) because of what I said above.. just because we have reached our goal, the skin lags behind our timeclock.
Once you have gone a couple years.. I dont know where you live, but if here in the states, there are a few options... one is perhaps your doctor knows of a collegue who would donate his time etc .. or if you arrange to 'donate' your excesss skin .. sometimes they also do it for free. Wait til you get to the bridge before you decide it might be lose/lose... I am betting it wont be, but if you start thinking that way now.. you may sabotage yourself.
Canary~
Changeisgood phrased things very nicely ( better than I could do) and I have to agree with every thing she said.
Even if you had a way to get the skin removed, all doctors and insurances require you wait like 2 or more years before they will consider it for 2 reasons:
1) to make sure you arent going to yo-yo in your weight and
2) because of what I said above.. just because we have reached our goal, the skin lags behind our timeclock.
Once you have gone a couple years.. I dont know where you live, but if here in the states, there are a few options... one is perhaps your doctor knows of a collegue who would donate his time etc .. or if you arrange to 'donate' your excesss skin .. sometimes they also do it for free. Wait til you get to the bridge before you decide it might be lose/lose... I am betting it wont be, but if you start thinking that way now.. you may sabotage yourself.
Canary~
Changeisgood phrased things very nicely ( better than I could do) and I have to agree with every thing she said.
Last edited by GameGal; 11-06-2010 at 02:19 AM.
