I'm starting to wonder if I have an eating disorder.
 

I don't know but I may be developing an eating disorder. Every time I eat a real meal....like normal people eat every day; I feel really bad about it....like I shouldn't have eaten it. The only time I don't feel this way is when I eat things like egg whites, apples, celery, etc. I weigh myself everyday! If I do have a dinner....the next day it looks like I have gained; and it takes about two days to get my weight back to what it was before I ate the dinner. Now I have started trying to have my main meal at lunch time and just an apple and cheese or something later on in the evening. At least I feel better about eating it...knowing I will up moving around the last half of the day.
Am I the only one feeling like this? :confused:

Obviously no one can diagnose you from just your posts, but reading your last one makes me concerned for you! You may want to discuss this with your doctor and see what his or her advice is. A couple of things jumped out at me, like "If I have a dinner..." what is this if? Do you not eat dinner usually? If dinner throws your weight off for two days, what are you eating for dinner? It shouldn't have that much of an effect, and shouldn't be "visible" that you have eaten, so maybe your mind is distorting your body image? Also, guilt feelings are common after a splurge or a binge, but usually not after a good, healthy, even substantial meal.

My best advice is to talk to your doctor or a therapist. There are also a ton of sites on the internet where you can complete a checklist that can let you know if your symptoms point to an eating disorder, or at least disordered thinking as related to eating, and then you can follow up with a health care provider after that. Beyond that I can't say much more, without knowing what and how much you actually eat, how you feel when you eat, how much you want to lose, the size you are now, etc. But it sounds like there is enough there for someone to get into it a little more deeply with you. Everyone's mind messes with them when they're changing their eating and lifestyle, but you have to keep an eye on common sense versus a way of looking at it that might be unhealthy. I'm really glad you put this out there instead of turning it around and around in your head. Take care of yourself.

Hi Crazy,
I agree with Cassie, you may need to consult a licensed professional for a better assessment of your feelings. However, it sounds like you are being very strict with yourself -- as most perfectionists would do (which I do understand that mentality) -- and that sets you up for feelings of frustration and/or failure when you think you've strayed from your path.

Obsessing over meals is not fun, nor productive for you. Try to write down your feelings in a journal. Examine your thoughts and what makes you feel 'guilty'. Are there certain situations that are worse than others for you to handle? Are you putting too much pressure on yourself to meet a goal by an unrealistic means or deadline?

I think having the feelings you are having aren't unusual, but it is good that you're trying to evaluate them and keep them in check before they do develop into something more serious.

Keep posting and seeking support! We're all here for eachother. And remember to recognize your successes, which I'm sure you have many to be proud of, not just at the areas that you think you messed up.

Hang in there!
*hugs*
Smoosh

Thanks Cassie, and Smoosh for taking time to reply to my question. You both have been very helpful. I will start writing in my journal my feelings about my diet. Maybe I am over doing the diet thing a little. I'll let you know down the road how things are going, guys....Thanks a bunch!

Good luck, crazycat. I agree that it's easy to get obsessed. I can't tell you how many times I Googled "how to lose the last five pounds" when I should have been doing any of a multitude of other things. I think you have a good plan to journal. Maybe you could also share your situation with a close friend or a family member, someone who knows you, and ask them to keep a check on when you might be going "overboard" in your thinking. Sometimes it takes someone outside of ourselves to see things in a clearer light. Be well!

I'm not a doctor by any stretch of the imagination, but I do have experience with eating disorders. It sounds to me like you're suffering from disordered eating, not an eating disorder. But like everyone else has said, it's best to consult with your doctor. Therapists can help with disordered eating, too.

For more information, you might want to read this article: What is Disordered Eating? - Eating Disorder Expert (UK)

Take care, hun! Best of luck!

Thanks Fletch for the site. I will check it out. I really think that I'm just obsessing about the whole diet thing. I really want it to work for me.....I'm so tired to being over weight! Thanks again for the info.....:)