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Old 03-30-2014, 11:03 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Question Kids and Sugar

Oy. I just read a facebook post by my 12 year old daughter. Basically she thinks I'm a horrible mother "ever since I started a diet" because I stopped buying sugary snacks. She thinks she's going to pass out or something because her sugar is too low. (I've suggested we prick her finger and see how low her sugar is.) She also repeated what I say that when there are sugary sweets in the house I end up eating too much, to which she says in her post, "It's called self control." But I feel like I'm some monster and depriving her of a decent childhood because I don't keep the house stocked with cookies and candy. I buy fruit, and she especially loves blackberries, but she said in her post "berries don't satisfy my sugar cravings."

First of all, does this sound like a kid who is sugar addicted or what? On the other hand, she's not on a diet so should I give in and buy "some" (not a lot) of sugary snacks? (I know the post she made sounds really snotty, btw, but she's really usually not.) And is she right that I have to work out my own problems and use self control when snacks are in the house and not make everyone else suffer because I can't control my own self? Or am I being a better parent by not supplying her junk food habit? She has a little jar that holds 1 bag of mini chocolate chips. She likes to have those on waffles, or she'll melt them and dip pretzels in them. So I told her to have some chocolate chips yesterday. She said she doesn't like them plain. So I said to melt them and dip graham crackers. She said, "I don't like graham crackers." It's an on-going battle that I feel will never end. I don't know how long I can go without giving in. Also, btw, she often comments on her weight. She is absolutely NOT over weight, but she's a pre-teen so she thinks she is. And if that's the case, you'd think she would know better than to have sugary snacks that could make her gain weight.

I also feel they are too expensive and wreak havoc on my weekly grocery budget. And, when I do buy them on Sunday (shopping day for me), then they're gone by Monday night...Tuesday at the longest. It just seems like a big money sucker.

Sorry for the rant, but I am really struggling with this and really want to know other's opinions. Obviously since this a weight loss forum a lot of us will be in the boat of "They're not healthy, don't buy them" side. But I'm trying to look at this from all angles. Should I be on the "All things in moderation" camp and buy some? I am trying to teach them healthier habits so they don't end up like me.

But she was really not nice toward me in her facebook post, so now I feel like I'm some kind of horrible parent. Please help with your thoughts!
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Old 03-30-2014, 03:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Any kind of conflict can be made into a food fight. You're in the right in this case - fruit is better for you than sugary snacks. If you stand firm about this, eventually she will probably join your dieting efforts. Or not. Sugary snacks are everywhere - outside the home, so it's not as if she's always in a sugar desert!

Ah, for the good old days, when a kid could complain about mom in a diary, not on facebook...
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Old 03-30-2014, 04:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Tween girls! Gotta love'em.

My daughter is 19, so we survived the age!

I think there are a few ways to handle this: (and I've done all I will state at varying times):

Have limited treats in the house, in the cupboards (I don't like this one, because, it's not healthy food and some if it is just too tempting)

Have treats that I am not interested in, in the cupboards (still not healthy, and still not my choice)

Buy the treats, (1 per week) but child must keep it in their bedroom (back to the healthy thing)

Have no treats in the house, but allot a "treat allowance" for when they are out with their friends (and I would NOT ask, what it was spent on)

I am now at the point where only healthy things come into the house. My daughter can fund her own junk food, if she wishes to eat it, but I won't buy it.

You are not a mean mom, you are working to keep yourself and your family healthy.
I'm sorry your daughter has taken this public. Social media came on the scene without an instruction manual You will figure out something that works for your family.
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Old 03-30-2014, 05:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Jenai - Ooooh...I'm sure that hurt to read. You are not a bad mom first and foremost!!! You are a woman trying to change her ways and trying to do what's best for her family! It's not easy being the parent is it!! Having said that....if you've been buying sweets for her for the past 12 years...no doubt she's upset that you stopped. You're a grown woman who has made a decision to change your ways....and even though you've made that decision, it's not easy is it? We all have struggles along the way trying to figure out what we need to do to get and stay healthy. BUT...we made this decision for ourselves...she did not. You made the decision for her...as you should...you're her mother.

Can you sit her down and have a heart to heart with her? Tell her how much of a struggle it's been for you. Tell her how different situations have made you feel. Tell her you're human and these things have been difficult for you. Try to gently explain that you want her to always remain the healthy vibrant person she is today...and eating junk food is not going to make that happen.

HOWEVER....eating a little treat here and there is teaching them moderation. This is also a lesson our children need to understand. Maybe you could start buy agreeing to buy a few things that are not triggers for you and tell your kids they need to learn how to ration it so it lasts longer. Or maybe set up an allowance program for them and if she wants to waste her money on junk...that's her decision. Maybe if she's having to buy it herself, she'll think twice?

As you can see....I have no answers! Still navigating raising children myself...so I'm as clueless as every other parent out there! LOL! I hope something I randomly spewed here helps you in some remote way? LOL!
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Old 03-30-2014, 05:57 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I'm not a parent but I think it's alright to buy her sugary snacks. Maybe put them in a cupboard that is just for her. I don't think stashing food in her bedroom is a good idea--the idea that these are "hidden foods".

I'm a child who grew up in a household that had cookies. My grandmother always had cookies when we went to visit. Food was a reward. When I became diabetic I realized that my parents didn't really foster healthy eating habits. We don't even have cookies in the house now (or any junk food) and I don't miss it.

Jenn
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Old 03-31-2014, 05:53 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Thanks to all of you for posting your opinions and thoughts. I decided today that I will practice moderation. My best bet is to buy the kids some things that I am not tempted by. I got one package of cookies for the whole family (which comes to about 5 Oreo's each) and each of them a treat or two. I'm going to make faux fried ice cream for the family (and I will have some of this). And I made sure everyone heard me say, "Once the snacks are gone, they are gone and you're not getting any more for the rest of the week. So eat wisely."

After reading your thoughts, I decided that "none" is probably too extreme and may not be the best policy because it could lead to binging.

And I got home just in time from the grocery store. My daughter almost starved to death.
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Jenai

Start (1/9/14): 276.8
Goal (4/21/2015): 130ish
Current: 240.0

Age: 43

[COLOR="Purple"11 lbs to go until next mini goal.
Next big goal: ONEderland 12/25/2014[/color]
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Old 03-31-2014, 08:06 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Phew, you dodged a bullet there!! lol It is scientifically acclaimed (or something) that once a child says they almost starved waiting... it's just a matter of mere moments before they curl into a fetal position and waste away
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Old 03-31-2014, 01:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
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LOL! Thanks for the Monday morning laughs ladies!
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Debbie

"Never give up on a dream because of the time it will take to accomplish it."

Starting Weight - 143 lbs (3/Sept/13)
Current Weight - 136.6lbs (29/Aug/14)
Goal Weight - 114 lbs (aiming for 31/Dec/14!!)
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Old 05-03-2014, 12:30 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Children do not need sugary snacks in their diet. Sugar addicted kids grown up to be sugar addicted adults. Since your daughter already wants these foods, limit her access to them instead of withdrawing them altogether. Gradually try to get her to be satisfied with less and get more interested in healthy snacks. This is more about her future health rather than your current diet.

Maybe you could get her interested in baking her own healthy treats. Kids like to eat things they prepared themselves.
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