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Old 01-30-2012, 12:26 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I thought this post was going to say something different when I read the title. My problem is different, but the same in some ways.

My wife is supportive, in some ways. She wants to lose weight also. Like last night around 10:00, she is saying I want a Whopper or some chicken nuggets. Like I need to hear that crap, or need to have it eaten in front of me. So, I caved in and had a burger also. This morning, her mom and dad are coming back from out of town and they call me. We brought you all a souvenir. Darn Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I mean, give me a break. I know what you all are saying: You didn't have to eat it. I know that too, but I am at the first stages of this change.

It feels like all this bad stuff is coming from all angles. I do good when it isn't in the house. I am not going to go out and buy potato chips or ice cream just cause it ain't here. I keep it out, but other bring it in.

HELP!!!
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Old 01-30-2012, 01:05 AM   #12 (permalink)
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If the guys can crash the Women's Corner, I can crash this. Collegefbfan:

Granted, my middle name is Personal Responsibility. Not that I always have it, but because I believe it is the only key to success. You can ask for help, but you won't always get it. You're right, you don't have to eat it, but if you're flagging, there are a few things you can do. Find what works for you. Make yourself drink two glasses of water before you eat it; make yourself wait 20 minutes and see if you still want it. Go journal on FD or otherwise the pros and cons of eating it. Leave the house. Go in the bathroom with a book till the others have eaten theirs. Ask them to buy flavors for themselves that aren't particularly tempting to you. Ask them if they will hide it, keep it in a locked car trunk, etc. Call a friend. Post on FD and say it's happening, then agree to report back to be accountable, put the scale in front of the fridge, tack your bathing suit to the pantry door. Make a deal with yourself by which, if you eat it, you have to do some sort of onerous exercise. Tell your family they are free to do/eat what they pleae, but you are setting limits and you will stick to them (you would like their cooperation but will do it alone if you have to)...the list goes on and on. I've done each and every one of these things.

As the addicts would say in the meetings, there is no easier, softer way to do this. If there were, it would have been done by now. The more excuses you let yourself make, the longer it will take. It takes a while to break habits; if you have to beg, borrow, or steal your way to two or three weeks of white-knuckling food sobriety, so be it. Just do it. Focus on yourself and what you need.
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Old 01-30-2012, 04:44 PM   #13 (permalink)
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do it for yourself.. thats what i tell my other half.. might be blunt.. yet its true.
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Old 01-30-2012, 04:45 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cjohnson728 View Post
If the guys can crash the Women's Corner, I can crash this. Collegefbfan:

Granted, my middle name is Personal Responsibility. Not that I always have it, but because I believe it is the only key to success. You can ask for help, but you won't always get it. You're right, you don't have to eat it, but if you're flagging, there are a few things you can do. Find what works for you. Make yourself drink two glasses of water before you eat it; make yourself wait 20 minutes and see if you still want it. Go journal on FD or otherwise the pros and cons of eating it. Leave the house. Go in the bathroom with a book till the others have eaten theirs. Ask them to buy flavors for themselves that aren't particularly tempting to you. Ask them if they will hide it, keep it in a locked car trunk, etc. Call a friend. Post on FD and say it's happening, then agree to report back to be accountable, put the scale in front of the fridge, tack your bathing suit to the pantry door. Make a deal with yourself by which, if you eat it, you have to do some sort of onerous exercise. Tell your family they are free to do/eat what they pleae, but you are setting limits and you will stick to them (you would like their cooperation but will do it alone if you have to)...the list goes on and on. I've done each and every one of these things.

As the addicts would say in the meetings, there is no easier, softer way to do this. If there were, it would have been done by now. The more excuses you let yourself make, the longer it will take. It takes a while to break habits; if you have to beg, borrow, or steal your way to two or three weeks of white-knuckling food sobriety, so be it. Just do it. Focus on yourself and what you need.
More sound advice to be added to our already amazing FDBOS "Tips for weight loss".

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Old 02-11-2012, 09:24 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I also am a HEALTHY-LIFESTYLE-TALKING-ALL-THE-TIME.
sometimes talks too much about that and then my other half has enough But thanks to some reading and observing and threads like this one I am learning to control myself and speak not so much about it these days. I noticed that the best way is to wait for her to see some results then she even wants to talk about it for a while (of course not too much but its something)

I am smarty and patient one! bit after bit I hope she will come to my side of the force but she has to want it for her own. That is a crucial requirement

So I wanna thanks to all responses in this thread. I read them all and now I understand her a bit better
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Old 12-07-2013, 09:30 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Sorry, I am a lady, but from her perspective:

It could be some things:

1) When a person really gets into their weight loss, they can talk about it non stop and be incredibly boring. I am guilty of this, most people doing massive "lifestyle changes" are. Save the shop talk for other people also doing it.

2) It may make her feel self conscious about her own weight or habits, and she is responding passive aggressively. This is pretty common. Make it clear that your choices are about you, and you are fine with your body.

3) Jealousy. Maybe you are getting more attention from the opposite sex than usual, and she thinks you are trying to impress them. Make it clear this is about you, not you trying to impress anyone else.

4) Ask for her support. Seriously, the secret to getting help from women is asking. Say, "I am having trouble doing this without your support. It really helps me take care of myself when I know you are behind me." If you say this and she is against helping you (for non legit reasons) their may be a real problem here.

5) I have noticed men can get very obsessive and results-focused about weight loss, rather than on general health. If this is the main focus of your life right now, and everything else is suffering from lack of attention, this could be problematic.

Sorry for lady-jacking this thread. Good luck.
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