The Weekend---Dealing with the "ugh your dieting?"
Any advice on how to respond (without punching someone!) when you are out to dinner with friends or family and you need to explain you are dieting and just can't have the loads of dessert they expect you to normally eat? I can't stand the "ugh your dieting...why...oh please..etc..etc.."
What do you all say when someone asks why you are dieting? How do you prepare for outings with friends or parties????? The weekend is here and I am afraid I will fall off track with the ridiculous comments plus already being vulnerable since I will be out at two parties this weekend...
What I like to do if it is a "stand-up" party (where you have the tables of food, not a seated affair) Hopefully they have shrimps and a veggie tray... is I'll make a little plate of that and then go stand outside (with the smokers) or at the opposite side of the room away from the food table. I have also been known to make my dinner and program my oven to turn on while I am at the party, and I then have an exit, exit time, and a yummy smelling dinner waiting for me at home!
If I am dining out, I make sure that I am sitting far away from any appetizers. They are hard to decipher how much calories they have and they can easily send you over your count for the day.
How I answered the "are you dieting?" I have said any one of the following responses, "I'm trying to make better choices." That one usually sparks a nice conversation... "No, I am not really 'dieting' but making dramatic changes to the way I eat." If you don't want to talk about it with anyone, you could say, "I'm just not feeling all that well today..."
Sometimes I try to pass it off by joking a bit, "Oh, I'm on a health kick right now" or say I've decided to avoid processed foods / sugar / white flour, etc. That way it sounds like more of a health decision than a weight loss thing, and people are generally more accepting of that.
And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.
I agree with Cassie, I don't know what is wrong with people but if you say you are quitting smoking, or drinking, or whatever, they feel obliged to pressure you.
I have never smoked and when offered a ciggie just said so and there was never any problem but when my friend said that she was trying to give up it was always " are you sure you dont want one" or " I'm sure one wont hurt". Same with dieting, it's always " you dont need to lose weight, or one muffin wont hurt you, or dont be a wet blanket sitting there eating rabbit food" So I usually say that
1. I had to have a large lunch with clients/workmates/people leaving so im not very hungry.
2. My doctor has told me to avoid fats, dairy, oily food....whatever.
3. I seem to be allergic to some of these foods so I'm avoiding them.
4. Ive given up bread, chocolate, wine, whatever for Lent ( you can only use this one at certain times of the year of course)
5. I've completely gone off these sweet things, they make me feel ill, maybe I'm pregnant/menopausal.
Weight at start of Jan 11. - 174lbs
Weight now - 151 lbs
Mini Goal by 09 Jun 2012- 147
Final goal by end of 2012 - around 126-130 lbs
LIZZIE If you want to run with the big dogs, learn to pee in the tall grass
Thanks for the advice everyone! I am excited to try it. While the avoiding overeating seems easy...i hope I can master the response to those annoying questions. I agree with the smoking comparison. Most of my friends smoke and it pisses me off when they offer it to me after ive blatantly expressed my choice not to in the past. Sad to say I think its the 'misery loves company' type deal. Anywho, I am going to prepare for tonight and tomorrow with your suggestions...hopefully all goes well!
I agree with most of the above - saying that you're dieting for whatever reason tends to make aggressive or defensive responses. I also just say "Oh, I'm full, but thanks!" about desserts with friends, or saying something like "Trying to cut back on chocolate/white flour/sugar/fats/etc." (whatever excuse seems valid) also does help. They may say "Oh, then just get the ice cream!" which is why "I'm full" often works for me.
If they're good friends, I find that a very simple and polite "No, thank you" often works, and I'm trying to do that more often (because I don't need to make excuses for myself!)
If someone asks me why I'm dieting or changing my lifestyle, I just say "for my health, and because I feel better when I eat this way." There's no real witty comeback that I've found for that one from people! You don't need to give any other reason than that! Good luck, and I hope your friends are supportive!
Female, 30 years old, 5'4 1/2" tall
Starting weight 1/4/11 = 215.2 lbs.
Weight 8/30/13 = 179.8 (net: -35.4)
Current mini-goal: 175 lbs.
Lowest weight: 156.7 lbs.
150.2 lbs. <--- Official "Healthy BMI" weight
Estimated final goal: 130 lbs.
"You don't have to change your life today. You only need to change your day today."
Thank you So far I haven't been dealing with too many defensive/aggressive responses but when I do (and I am sure I will) I will try your suggestions. I like the "it makes me gassy" one haha so thanks I will try that ...and especially the "I am doing it for my health" because I actually did use that one already and it seems no one has a smart response for it so I will keep using it!!!!
I don't feel like anyone pressures me but I do have trouble monitoring things for the weekend. I do great M-F and then it is hard to stay on task for Friday and Saturday nights. We go out to eat usually one night and there have been weddings and other social events the other nights.
Been trying to stick to a vodka and diet tonic for a drink or a glass of white wine. Rather than try to mentally count the calories of what's on my plate, I am trying to eat half or less. Any other suggestions?