wildbeanerz

I would just like to say.... if you wait until you are perfectly ready & able to have a child you will probably never have one.

Oh and at almost 34 yrs old I am looking into doing foster care w/possibilities of later adoption of young children ... preferably under 3. Although I do have two of my own and while my older one is usually a complete joy and has been since birth, my second one is a challenge and always has been. They are all different and no amount of research will ever give you all the answers.

cjohnson728

So true...and also if you wait till you think you can "afford" it!

Many props to you, wildbeanerz. I consult with child protective and the foster system a lot and good foster parents are golden. Thank you for being interested and for your commitment.

wildbeanerz

Thanks! We attended our orientation on Monday night and have another class tomorrow night (one of the reasons my workouts haven't been happening this week). There is one more Saturday but Don has to work so we are going to have to have that one privately at home. Then we have a first aid / CPR training and one other class after that. Our home & animals & kids will all be investigated & researched. We both need physicals & TB tests and background and child abuse and FBI fingerprint checks. Then after all that we might be certified to care for foster children! It is a long process but I completely understand and wouldn't want them to just put them into the homes of anyone without checking them out. Those kids have been through plenty in their little lives without placing them into the arms of another abuser.

taubele

Darn, waiting to afford it has been my excuse (Really...my career has been my "excuse". The stress of graduate school is NO TIME to have a child, at least not for me.)

Though, in all honesty, at 27 I do believe I am ready. However, I am dating someone four years younger than me. At 23, he is not ready yet, though he has been adamant that he does want children someday. We've discussed it, as it's difficult for me -- I want to have children within the next few years (I'd like to start before I'm 30), but I see where he is coming from too. I think we'll know when we're ready, though. At least we're both on the same page about having kids in the first place. Oh, and that whole "get married" thing...

Ratsmouth

I think a poster's age and experience have to be taken into account when responding to a post. Our point of view changes with age (and parenting!) In the best of all possible worlds, every kid would have an optimal situation to be born into, but stuff happens. Misery is right, though, that parenting should be a conscious thing. You're not simply responsible for yourself anymore, but for someone else who has to be prepared for a good life. I see a lot of babies born into pretty unstable situations, where neglect, parental discord, poverty and ignorance are the norm for them. The kids have a rough start, with low expectations, and poor parental examples. Yeah, it's a problem. It's good to hear from a 19 year old who doesn't think children are mere accessories, or that a "baby bump" gives a teenager bragging rights. I've worked with a lot of teenaged girls who thought their babies' purpose in life was to give THEM "unconditional love". HA!

TheNannyTina

One of my biggest pet peves is when people hint around to something, but never ask you directly! URG!

I go nuts when people ask me to do something last minute. I am a very planned and organized person. So the whole calling me the day of, is enough to make me go batty. I know I can be too organized to my own demise. But there are some people who never ask you to babysit, help em move, or anything till the day of, or even a hour before. Really?

I can not stand when someone throws gum on the ground, or anywhere but the trash. Could be one time waiting for the bus I once sat in gum. But, can not stand it!

Other than that, it really takes quiet a bit to get me rattled. I am pretty easy going. But I am way too organized and planned. And I am say what I mean and mean what I say.

Wow, I sound kind of hard and cold after reading my post.

Tina

almeeker

Actually I thought this too and ended up having a nice little heart to heart with my OB/GYN before getting pregnant the third time. She explained to me that at 35 the upward curve of the graph tapers off and starts a gradual decline. And part of that taper is based on medical intervention in older women trying to get pregnant for the first time. If you look at a similar graph for age vs birth defects in older women who've had a history of healthy pregnancies/babies, it actually doesn't taper off until age 43. At that time my doctor told me that her average OB patient was 36. On a side note women over 42 trying to get pregnant for the first time through invetro (spelling?) are generally not able to use their own eggs. But again those are women with an history of infertility.

cjohnson728

Terri...I defended my dissertation, flew home, got in at midnight, next morning was at a lawyer's office at 8 AM signing a contract on our first house, came home, got sick and slept, then woke up, felt funny, went and bought a pregnancy test and...bingo (we hadn't been trying; we had actually been trying not )! Talk about your delayed gratification!! I wouldn't change a thing now, but it was quite a mental shift from school to mom! I have watched lots of my school friends go through it in their own way; you and your guy will work it out, never fear.

quinnesec

Men and boys who spit on the ground/sidewalk/ parking lot where I have to walk. Good God... if you have that much phlegm that you have to spontaneously and uncontrollably spit, you have a severe medical issue and should be seen by a physician promptly.

taubele

Holy monkey doodle, Cassie! rofl. You are an iron woman.

My dissertation experience was somewhat different! I gained 30-40 lbs. (wasn't weighing myself at the time, too ashamed...) in a 6-month period while writing it, went through terrible depression (I don't handle stress well, and even worse back then!) but somehow managed to pull it out. The entire introduction and discussion were written in a sleep-deprived rage-filled state about four days before it was due. Funnily enough, my advisor said it was "the best writing she'd ever seen from me." LOL. Obviously I should be rage-filled and sleep-deprived when I write, THAT IS THE SECRET!

To tell the honest truth, if I went home today and got a positive pregnancy test, I'd be happy about it. I'm ready. We're actively trying "not" as well, but sometimes life just throws you those curveballs, and you gotta swing for the fences! Good for you!

~Terri