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Old 12-15-2010, 06:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Invent a Diet

So lots of company's make millions and millions of dollars on really dumb dieting products, let's make up some and maybe we will make money too!
WARNING! The diet that follows is rather gross so if you are grossed out easily you might not want to read it.

The Worm Diet

"I lost 30 in 4 days without even trying!" Linda
"My jeans started feeling looser AS I WAS WEARING THEM!!!" Sue

You could be the next person to lose weight with this new, innovative and all natural product! Simply buy a packet of starter capsules for only $24.99! All you have to do is drink a glass of whole milk then swallow one capsule before your breakfast in the morning. Do this for three days and you will be all set! You will lose weight FAST without changing your diet or exercise program in ANY way!
So how does it work?
Each capsule contains thousands of tapeworm eggs which will eat and digest your food for you! If you eat 30,000 calories a day they will eat almost all of it so your body will only take in about 1,000 calories! It is PROVEN to work!


* side effects may include
Nausea
Weakness
Loss of appetite
Abdominal pain
Diarrhea
Seizures
Fever
Cystic masses or lumps
Allergic reactions to the larvae
Bacterial infections
Neurological symptoms or seizures

Your turn!
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Old 12-15-2010, 07:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Lose those thunder thighs forever!!!!
Take advantage of this special offer, lasting only till the end of the year. Have your leg (or both) surgically removed at our clinic, quickly and effectively. You will get slim, lightweight prostethic ones, you can select from 7 skin shades and 8 basic foot sizes. If you decide to sort out BOTH legs before the end of the year, you will get a 20% discount, so don't wait! Just imagine, you will be instantly 80lb or more lighter, you will ALWAYS fit in your favourite jeans, and never ever put an ounce of weight on your thighs again!!!!

well it isn't exactly a diet, it's more like a weight loss method, and I sincerely apologise to anyone who might be offended
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Old 12-15-2010, 07:33 PM   #3 (permalink)
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MunaAmin, I am coming over right now!
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Old 12-15-2010, 07:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default lose weight quickly with a RDP

For just 3 easy payments of $29.95 we'll send you our revolutionary new RDP (Reusuable Diet Pill)that is guaranteed to make you shed that unwanted weight.

Our kit includes one RDP that is made of an unltra safe plastic that you can use over and over. Our lab ran numerous tests against a placebo and time and time again our RDP beat the placebo. We've also ran it against the latest craze, the worm diet and had similar results, without the side effects.

Here's how it works, everytime you get hungy or have the munchies, simply put the pill between your teeth and hold it. Our tests have shown that when your mounth is held shut, by the RDP, you quit eating. This will strike up your TMR (Thermo Metabolic Rate) and the pounds will fly away.

Order now, while supplies last!

BUT WAIT!!!

There's more, Order within the next 10 minutes and we'll send you Two for the price of one, just pay extra shipping and processing. The second pill works great as a birth control device. Just place the second pill between your knees and let the pill do the rest!

Last edited by 01gt4.6; 12-15-2010 at 07:48 PM.
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Old 12-15-2010, 08:03 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I am just sitting at my desk cracking up!!! This is too funny!
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Old 12-15-2010, 08:13 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Oh dear... you're supposed to swallow pills (not just hold them); so when I read "reusable" I got really grossed out.
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Old 12-16-2010, 01:47 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Funny! I always have had in the back of my mind that I'd write a diet book entitled "How to lose weight eating chocolate every day" I'd include some really technical sounding B.S. and sample menus (using salads and fruits and that skinless chicken that's in every diet book) but include a small candy bar. It wouldn't be too hard to do, and I could make millions, esp if I got it published right around January. Anyone want to ghost write it for me?
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Old 12-16-2010, 02:07 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovedogs4ever View Post
You could be the next person to lose weight with this new, innovative and all natural product! Simply buy a packet of starter capsules for only $24.99! All you have to do is drink a glass of whole milk then swallow one capsule before your breakfast in the morning.

Each capsule contains thousands of tapeworm eggs which will eat and digest your food for you! If you eat 30,000 calories a day they will eat almost all of it so your body will only take in about 1,000 calories! It is PROVEN to work!

Tamara
1) I'm allergic to milk and 2)jockeys already do use the tapeworm diet. At least they used to. Read Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand if you want to be really grossed out by diet.
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Old 12-16-2010, 04:09 AM   #9 (permalink)
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The newest, easiest way to lose those unwanted pounds for FREE! No pills needed! And it is FDA approved!

The "High Protein, Don't Bug Me Eating Plan" is the newest, most effective way to lose weight! Try it now, absolutely FREE!

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&sqi=2&ved=0CBgQFjAA&url=h ttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.sixwise.com%2Fnewsletters%2F05%2F0 6%2F29%2Fhow_many_insect_parts_and_rodent_hairs_ar e_allowed_in_your_food.htm&rct=j&q=are%20there%20f da%20approved%20bugs%20in%20food&ei=mJ0JTe_tE8Gp8A bznLCfAQ&usg=AFQjCNFDFpNORMSEEdbHnjjawbsrLmYoyg&si g2=b6kTUg55zkerLZkKzA-UOg&cad=rja
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Old 12-16-2010, 12:43 PM   #10 (permalink)
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My uncle had an idea of the eat all you want just spit it out diet. It includes two plates, one for the food you eat, the other for the food you spit out.

But don't laugh I think I actually saw a spit out your food diet somewhere. Why is that not surprising?
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