Funny! I always have had in the back of my mind that I'd write a diet book entitled "How to lose weight eating chocolate every day" I'd include some really technical sounding B.S. and sample menus (using salads and fruits and that skinless chicken that's in every diet book) but include a small candy bar. It wouldn't be too hard to do, and I could make millions, esp if I got it published right around January. Anyone want to ghost write it for me?
Little hunks of cellophane-wrapped chocolate fudge the size of a carmel that you ate with a hot beverage--they were supposed to help you lose weight. They kinda disappeared after the discovery of AIDS back in the '80s, I think.
47 M 5'8"
May 4, 2010...... 440? lbs. (Start FitDay Size 60 Jeans)
June 19, 2010.... 393 lbs. (First Weigh-in)
June 19, 2011.... 229 lbs. (164 lbs. gone in one year :-)
Current Weight... 185 lbs. (Size 36 Jeans)
Next Goal 169 lbs. (07/04/12)
Ultimate Goal 165 lbs. (12/31/12)
The best exercises for weight loss are Fork Putdowns and Table Pushaways.
Oh my gosh Sister Jen and Muna Amin, my uncle's idea does sound like bulimia.
And yes I do remember Ayds and even I who tried just about every diet known to womankind (and drank Tab and Fresca; am I dating myself?) knew that eating a tiny square of chocolate caramel wouldn't help me lose weight. Unless there was something like caffeine or amphetamines or who knows what in it.
So lots of company's make millions and millions of dollars on really dumb dieting products, let's make up some and maybe we will make money too!
WARNING! The diet that follows is rather gross so if you are grossed out easily you might not want to read it.
The Worm Diet
"I lost 30 in 4 days without even trying!" Linda
"My jeans started feeling looser AS I WAS WEARING THEM!!!" Sue
You could be the next person to lose weight with this new, innovative and all natural product! Simply buy a packet of starter capsules for only $24.99! All you have to do is drink a glass of whole milk then swallow one capsule before your breakfast in the morning. Do this for three days and you will be all set! You will lose weight FAST without changing your diet or exercise program in ANY way!
So how does it work?
Each capsule contains thousands of tapeworm eggs which will eat and digest your food for you! If you eat 30,000 calories a day they will eat almost all of it so your body will only take in about 1,000 calories! It is PROVEN to work!
* side effects may include
Loss of appetite
Cystic masses or lumps
Allergic reactions to the larvae
Neurological symptoms or seizures
Meh, it's been done... Yes, it's real, and in 100 years we'll be poking fun at HCG
So does anyone know where I could get my hands on a tapeworm?
I work in a vet's office, they're pretty easy to come by for me. Or adopt a dog with fleas. Fleas carry tapeworms, so in about 3 months you'll have your own personal supply. If you're impatient, just swallow a few fleas and you can speed the process along.
If I keep starting over, eventually it will stick, right?
Current weight: 140
Goal weight: 135