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I've Ruined Myself

Old 08-06-2012, 08:00 AM
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Unhappy I've Ruined Myself

I am recovering from surgery for a torn menisucs as well as a serious stress fracture in my tibia. Neither one I can explain by trauma or injury but I am guessing it was my excess weight bearing down on my body day after day.

It is such a sobering thought. I am 140 pounds overweight and with the exception of high blood pressure have managed to beat getting any repercussions from being so out of shape. Until now. I have hobbled myself- the pain had become quite severe and now post surgery I am out of commission for a minimum of 2 weeks- using a walker to get around but only partial weight bearing.

How can a human being allow themselves to get to the point where their body buckles and breaks as mine has done? I am deeply ashamed and embarrassed but mostly I am so upset that I have destroyed my health.

I began a strict eating plan 5 days ago in hopes of giving my body some relief as quickly as possible. I feel very driven by the fix I am in. Every pound I lose will help my body function better and hopefully heal fast.

If anyone else can relate to this I would love to hear from you. I feel a changed person but had to come to this point to make the change. Of course, I have tried countless times before to lose the weight and have succeeded only to regain it, but this time I know I am at a true crossroads.
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Old 08-06-2012, 08:23 AM
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hello im new here too.

firstly let me say im sorry to hear your health has suddenly taken a dive and you have required surgery, that is never easy for anyone. *hugs*

i can say from previous experience that sometimes life just takes over and you dont notice what is happening as much as you think you should do, until its "too late" of course. however, you have no seen that things need to be done and you are focussed on doing that... first step done.... you are on your way!
i was 22 stone aged 23 after battling eating issues all my (short) life. my doctor told me i was high risk for health issues but i couldnt shift it. eventually i said to heck with it, left my husband (bad relationship i knew was making it harder) ate nothing but pasta and walked everywhere, within 6 months i was 14 stone and carried on from there with normal diet. i was so happy with myself.
next i knew i was 34, 3 more babies and weight heading right back up again. this time i havent been lucky enough for docs to say "you are at risk", instead i already have serious health issues to deal with.

like i said, life passes us by but we do all get to a point in life where we know we have to do something.
all you can do right now is make sure you are eating the right things to stay healthy and allow yourself to recover, that has to be your priority before the weight loss. exercise what muscles you can without overdoing it (i was advised while on total bed rest to raise a book to a height you can manage, lower and repeat the same as this will help keep muscles active without pushing myself too far)
when you have recovered from your op then you can focus more on the rest of it and you have a great group of people here to turn to for support (as i am finding out)

for now, relax, rest and recover! the more you stress over it, the longer it will take to recover and get started on the hard work

sarah x
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Old 08-06-2012, 06:48 PM
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Your body and your mind are just recovering from this shock and remember to be kind to yourself as well as taking the steps to a healthier lifestyle. In the long term you want a good healthy lifestyle and to lose 140 pounds you are looking at long term. Well done for making this change and good luck, you have an exciting journey ahead of you.

My body has coped wonderfully for 40+ years with no complications except high blood pressue and then I was diagnosed with diabetes, high cholesterol and rising blood pressure, my knees ached, my back ached, I got depressed and lethargic and could hardly bring myself to do anything. This all seemed to hit within two years so I made that decision to change. I've been overweight and miserable for most of my 40+ years, I still have 40+ years ahead if I'm lucky so this half of my life is going to be different. Fitter, slimmer and most importantly healthier.

So far I've lost half the weight I need to, blood pressure medication is down to 2 tablets from 5, diabetes is under control with no medication, cholesterol is down, I exercise between 3 and 6 times a week depending on work schedule and my endurance has increased, my gym gave me a health test and my internal fat is within national guidelines even though I'm still only halfway to my goal weight.
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Old 08-07-2012, 01:20 AM
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Hey there I'm just starting on this. I've not really been trying to loose weight before despite being loads over weight. I just couldn't summon the willpower to do it. Even now I'm not sure I can do this but know how much better I would feel if I did. Am tempted to try the fast day (500 cals) then feed day, as I'm not sure sticking to low cal all the time is possible for me - so monotonous! Anyway gotta try!
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Old 08-07-2012, 01:21 AM
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Originally Posted by thefuturesbright
Hey there I'm just starting on this. I've not really been trying to loose weight before despite being loads over weight. I just couldn't summon the willpower to do it. Even now I'm not sure I can do this but know how much better I would feel if I did. Am tempted to try the fast day (500 cals) then feed day, as I'm not sure sticking to low cal all the time is possible for me - so monotonous! Anyway gotta try!
Good luck and keep us updated on your progress and well done for taking those first steps.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:15 AM
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Originally Posted by thefuturesbright
Hey there I'm just starting on this. I've not really been trying to loose weight before despite being loads over weight. I just couldn't summon the willpower to do it. Even now I'm not sure I can do this but know how much better I would feel if I did. Am tempted to try the fast day (500 cals) then feed day, as I'm not sure sticking to low cal all the time is possible for me - so monotonous! Anyway gotta try!
Paradoxically, I am finding that it helps my diet to watch cooking competition shows. Eating healthy basically means eating food I cook, and the shows allow me to look on it as a creative challenge to add vegies and reduce calories and fat in new ways. Don't know if this helps anyone else, but thought I'd pass it along.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:29 AM
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Don't be too strict or you'll just fall off the wagon. Develop a lifestyle you can have long-term. Just think of foods you can eat a lot of to get that full, satisfied feeling but are low in calories, like cantaloupe, or cauliflower, etc.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:41 AM
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Thanks for all the support, much appreciated. Not such a good day today, but I had already done most of the damage before deciding to join up! Tomorrow is another day!
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Old 08-07-2012, 05:00 AM
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Thank you so much, everyone! The kind words and support mean so much to me. I think that this kind of journey is very hard to make alone. Being as super proud as I am, I have always found it very hard to talk about my weight. (Maybe thinking that if I didn't talk about it, no one would notice, ha)! Right now I am stuck on the sofa for the next 8 days until my next check in with the surgeon- I am very anxious to begin moving again. Does anyone have any thoughts on swimming as a calorie burning exercise? Not my exercise of choice but it is non weight bearing which I will need for a while.
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Old 08-07-2012, 05:09 AM
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Swimming is exercise and it's better than no exercise!
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