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Old 07-31-2012, 01:33 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Everyone, men and women are attracted to fit, healthy bodies
I disagree with this. Not EVERYONE is attracted to "fit, healthy bodies". My current BF actually prefers women with meat on their bones and told me that I could be 20 lbs heavier and I'd still be beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and everyone has a different "ideal"
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Old 07-31-2012, 02:51 AM   #22 (permalink)
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I disagree with this. Not EVERYONE is attracted to "fit, healthy bodies". My current BF actually prefers women with meat on their bones and told me that I could be 20 lbs heavier and I'd still be beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and everyone has a different "ideal"
Of course not "everyone" is attracted to fit, healthy bodies, but the great majority of the population are, I was speaking in general and by "everyone" was mostly referring to the majority of men and women as this thread seems to point out that only men are biased to being attracted to fit and in shape people....Also, nowhere in my post did I say "rail thin people" either.. I don't think that is attractive or healthy. "meat on the bones" is a good thing, but I've never understood why we coddle the very overweight in this country. It is UNHEALTHY and is killing us! Attractiveness of the opposite sex is just a byproduct and a secondary concern of this appearance/lifestyle. Like I said above, I notice reactions of females when I (and friends of mine) are at "healthy weights" and when we are overweight and it is literally night and day.

This may be an unpopular opinion here, but I feel it is much more realistic and truthful of the general population and it has served as a kick in the butt for myself and a few friends to not only get healthier but also improve our quality of life. Coddling the very overweight does nothing but promote bad habits and a dangerous lifestyle. There is a difference between "healthy, active and a few extra pounds" and an unhealthy, unattractive diet/lifestyle and once again this goes for men AND women equally.

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Old 07-31-2012, 10:13 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Checking on some statistics from the Centers for Disease Control, they indicate that 33.9% of adults 20 and over are obese. 34.4% are overweight but not yet obsese. Combine these two and you have a majority (68.3%) being either overweight or obsese. These people are still finding mates so weight cannot be a sole determinant under the "laws of attraction". In a previous post I had mentioned waist to hip ratio. I will try not to be too nerdy here. Men like curves and overweight and even obese women can have them. Men and women alike are attracted to signs of fitness for reproduction. This does not mean that you are looking to produce a child with everyone you are attracted to, but what we find attractive is based on our evolutionary past. Things like clear eyes in both sexes, broad shoulders in men and developed breasts in women are attractive. We like signs of health and reproductive fitness. A preteen female will have straight hips similar to a boy, but when she enters puberty, she will grow taller, her waist will narrow and her hips will flare, creating a shape that the male brain responds to. It indicates that she is reproductively ready. Now I am vastly over simplifing here and there are lots of other indicators. I am just saying that what you see in the mirror as being unattractive does not mean the opposite sex sees it as so. Also, of course, every individual has their preferences. There is no single standard of beauty, though the fashion industry would lead you to believe so.

I do not feel we "coddle" the overweight in this country. We live in a society where food is cheap and abundant. We have access to calories like no other society in history and again, our evolutionary past has much to do with our response to food. We have industries devoted to selling you as much of their food as possible and we are subjected to advertising constantly (fitday). Food is not just fuel either, there is a social aspect to sharing meals and a dieter will often feel deprived when they feel they are not fully participating in a social meal. This month was terrible for me diet-wise, but I had a couple of things to celebrate, I had a birthday and my daughter was released from jail. I monitored my calories and did not gain or lose weight, but I did not try to deny myself on special days. I knew what I was doing and I am ok with it.
There is huge pressure in this society to not only be at a healthy weight but to look a certain way. I feel for you ladies because the pressure is even greater than on men.
What motivates one person will not necessarily motivate another. We have to find our true path and if there are others supporting us along the way, that is even better.
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Old 08-01-2012, 04:48 AM   #24 (permalink)
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These people are still finding mates so weight cannot be a sole determinant under the "laws of attraction".
Once again, I feel my statements are being taken out of context. I never once said that being fit and healthy is a "sole determinant" for attraction, however, I feel it is just as important as confidence is when the majority of the population is concerned.

You mentioned that you do not believe we coddle the very overweight in this country and I couldn't disagree more. Not to offend anyone but a lot of that mentality resides in this very thread. I understand the reasons why so many are overweight, but, like in my case instead of having so many people tell me "oh you look fine"... blah blah (while that same girl then goes and talks up the guy 30-40 pounds lighter than me, lol), I wish people were more truthful... in a respectful way of course, I believe it would serve a good purpose to many.

If you were to take a poll of the 68.3 percent of obese/overweight people you mentioned and asked them 2 questions: 1) would you rather be lighter and more "in shape" and 2) would you rather your partner be fit and in shape or overweight, I don't have to tell you what the majority responses would be. If someone is a drug addict and it is affecting their health do you just say "oh that's just they way they are" or do you try to help them? Obesity kills MANY more people than drugs do a year. To deny the problem is to have your head in the sand and I can admit I did for awhile.

If attraction was the only factor here, then the discussion would be a moot point and not even worth it, but health, in this case is a MAJOR factor also. Constructive criticism instead of saying "well that's just the way we are here in the US because food is everywhere" is a more productive approach in my opinion. I wish someone would have taken that approach in my case months ago....
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Old 08-01-2012, 12:47 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Everyone likes different body types. If they didn't then there would be a lot more single people in the world because only body type "A" would be spoken for.

The biggest thing that needs said here is regardless of whether you are losing weight to look good, attract a new mate, fit smaller jeans or whatever your reason....the side effect of that weight loss with be that you are a healthier person. And just to clarify simply being a thin person doesn't guarantee your health either. My own dad is 5'6" and about 155-160lbs. Very average built guy. Very active 60ish man. He has high cholesterol, is borderline diabetic and has had skin cancer. He has never been overweight. Never smoked one cigarette and I have never known him to take a sip of alcohol.

To compare being overweight with being a drug addict is not a very fair comparison. Did a drug addict need to start using drugs to live? Nope...didn't think so. But you do need to eat to live.
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Old 08-01-2012, 11:12 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Everyone likes different body types. If they didn't then there would be a lot more single people in the world because only body type "A" would be spoken for.

The biggest thing that needs said here is regardless of whether you are losing weight to look good, attract a new mate, fit smaller jeans or whatever your reason....the side effect of that weight loss with be that you are a healthier person. And just to clarify simply being a thin person doesn't guarantee your health either. My own dad is 5'6" and about 155-160lbs. Very average built guy. Very active 60ish man. He has high cholesterol, is borderline diabetic and has had skin cancer. He has never been overweight. Never smoked one cigarette and I have never known him to take a sip of alcohol.

To compare being overweight with being a drug addict is not a very fair comparison. Did a drug addict need to start using drugs to live? Nope...didn't think so. But you do need to eat to live.
Couple things here.

1) No one ever said anything about health guarantees. Thin does not equal healthy, but very overweight NEVER equals healthier.

2) I understand people like different body types, but once again, the great majority prefers fit and healthy.

3) So, because a drug addict makes a bad choice they should be shunned while the person who CHOSE to eat way too much and become obese should be coddled? Because that's exactly what happens in our society. It is not "pc" to shun because of weight, but someone addicted to another substance is ostracized from society. No matter what the excuse, coddling either one of these activities leads to extremely high risk of poor health/death.

This horse has no skin left on it, lol, we have beat it to oblivion. No more arguing for me
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