Congrats on your two year anniversary man.
Also, please write that novel, I wanna read it. You see, the more you talk the more hope I get that I may be able to stick this thing out and beat it. As I am sure you will agree, no one who haven't walked in your shoes can truly understand what its like. The before that is.
In my case the isolation the feeling of hopelessness. Don't get me wrong I go out in public, I socialize, I have good friends that try to offer good intentioned advice but as I said before they cant really understand.
Believe me, even tho I haven't accomplished one iota of what you have I know what you mean when you say that there wont be an after.