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Old 11-18-2011, 07:21 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Hi Everyone

My name is Emily. I just joined after a google search along the lines of Heeellllppp!

I lost 4 stone with LighterLife in 2007, and managed to keep the majority of it off. But my weight has crept up over the last year and I have been lurching from one scheme to another in a vain attempt to gain some control over my eating. I have tried Cambridge diet, gone back to LLife and Hypnotherapy, but none have offered any long term solution, and to be honest I just don't think I can do the deprivation of a foodpack diet again. The hypnotherapy was a real attempt to try and find a way of eating with my appetite and ditching the overeating and emotional eating. I'd sincerely like to carry on with it, but at 75 per session, it is seriously beyond my budget at the moment. Indeed, anything that requires any extra money is beyond my budget at the moment.

I have been running on and off since I did LLife, and find it quite therapeutic. However, working hours make it more difficult to find the time to do it and as I've put on weight, my knees are protesting too.

I work in a cafe, and we home make all the food. My colleague makes all the cakes and she is the most amazing baker - I never had a sweet tooth before I worked there, and the availability of the food seems to have fuelled my addiction somewhat. It is far too easy, in a quiet moment to just pick at something when I'm not even hungry. Our busiest time, of course is lunch time, and I don't sit down until 2.30pm. I mostly have yoghurt and fruit for breakfast, but by 12 I'm hungry and then it's all too easy to pick, knowing I won't be able to eat properly for another couple of hours.

I'm in a downward spiral of self-loathing and despair. Each morning I wake up promising myself to be 'good', then it all just seems so hopeless that I find myself giving up before I've even begun.

So here I am.

Emily x
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Old 11-18-2011, 08:08 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Welcome aboard the forum, you're going to love it here. This is a fantastic site for getting your eating under control. When you log every bite you put in your mouth, pretty quickly you'll have a "come to Jesus" moment with your willpower. I still struggle with diet and exercise on a daily basis, but it's a lot easier to put down the fork than it is to squeeze into my fat pants, if you know what I'm saying. I think the best thing I've gotten from fitday has been the forum, which has helped me realize that diet and exercise aren't "All or Nothing", and that I can start a healthy diet back up again with the next bite. Bad days happen, but so long as the good days out number the bad by a solid ratio, I can be healthy and happy with myself. It's also a good bit cheaper than Weight Watchers, and available every day rather than once/week.

I don't know what LighterLife is, but I've found tracking my calories and exercise a whole lot easier than learning some system developed by a team of experts that is a lot more interested in my wallet than they are in me. I find a lot of pre-packaged, programs for weight loss cost a fortune and really only teach you how to use their system, not how to live healthy, basically setting you up to fail the minute you reach goal. Thus ensuring that you and your wallet will be back. Fitday is free. And basically I eat what I want provided it fits into my calorie budget for the day and/or I've put in my workout. Beyond that it's just a tool and only so good as the user.
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Old 11-20-2011, 09:44 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Hi Almeeker,

Thanks for your words of encouragement. Lighterlife is a meal replacement programme, combined with group therapy, which I found really helpful. However it costs around 70 per week, and is, of course, very restrictive. You cannot have any kind of social life whilst on it, as you can only eat the food packs and drink water, tea or coffee. My aim here is to try to learn how to eat like a normal person! I would dearly love to learn to like my body, instead of treating it like the enemy.

Yesterday was a better day for me - I have 2 jobs, during the week I work at the cafe 9.30-2.30, and on Saturdays I work at an Estate Agents, showing people round houses and manning the phones etc. I find it much easier to forget about food when I'm working at the estate agents, as it's not in my face the whole time.

The overwhelming temptation is to follow a diet plan devised by someone else - I have tried them all, I think! But my pattern of behaviour is very all or nothing, and a little slip can completely derail me. So this time I'm going to learn to trust my body to tell me what I need, and learn to listen to it. The biggest challenge for me is going to be leaving food on my plate. I know when I am full, and sometimes it's when I'm only halfway through the food on my plate. Invariably I carry on eating until it's all gone and then feel bloated and angry with myself. So this, I suppose is an extension of portion control.

Last night I din't finish my bowl of pasta - probably a first! It was very hard to put it down, but I did it!

Today is my only day of the week off, so am going to take the dogs for a run (they love it). Then I have to do my housework (boring) and get the kids to do their homework (difficult!) and do the food shopping (tedious). All work and no play...!

Emily x
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Old 11-20-2011, 08:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi Natalie

Thanks for your response. I have spent quite a bit of time on here already!! Becoming my new obsession, maybe!

Went for my run this morning and turned my ankle over - would have to be at the furthest point from home - managed to hobble home, but now it's quite painful. Have taken some Nurofen and got it strapped up, but still getting twinges. I guess that puts paid to the running for a little while. Bummer.

Had roast dinner tonight, but stuck to only 2 roasties, 2 small slices of pork and no pudding. Still feel really full, though, so probably could have eaten less. Still on a learning curve... Tomorrow will be a bigger test, back to my job in the coffee shop, where there is food everywhere begging to be eaten! So hard!

Wish me luck - or willpower, more appropriately!

Emily x
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Old 11-21-2011, 08:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Welcome Emily! Keep up with the posting and logging all you eat & do. Your mindset will slowly change and you will begin to think before you eat about whether it fits in your budget for the day. I almost think like money about calories. This piece of pie will cost me 500 calories, how can I pay for that? Or am I bankrupt?
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