Ready to find myself! Pretty & Fat.......
Hello everyone! New and ready to start finding myself, ready to live a new life style, ready to become who I was meant to be.
A little about myself: I have always been fat, I've been a fat kid, teen, adult, and now I'm a fat parent. I've had trouble in the past with self estem, but for the most part I knew I was pretty and it didn't really bother me that I was big. I had boyfriends and plenty of friends to keep me happy. I was always told how pretty I was/am, however this went along with all the rude and childish remarks.
A year ago, my life changed. I found that my husband for nine year had multiple affairs since the begining of our relationship. I was devastated and could'nt grasp on to reality. I wanted to die, and a part of me did, emotionally, spirtually, and mentally. But I knew I had to fight it for my childrens sake. My husband and I are trying to work things out, but I found that I can't have him make me happy. The only person that can do this is me.
When I found out about the affairs, I felt like I was the slut. I felt it was my fault, I wasn't a good enough wife, I was fat, I was just plain UGLY!!!! At the same time of me finding out about the affairs I also found out I was pregnant. I didn't gain a whole lot of weight only about 20 pounds and I did manage to lose that after I had the baby. :) But even after a year and a new baby with new promises I felt ugly, my self estem was dead and I couldn't see myself doing anything positive for me.
I started going out with a couple of friends and cousins and found that I can make myself happy by being around people that love and support me. I even found that I was still atractive to the really cute guys! :) lol...But the important thing that I realized is that I can't depend on anyone to make me happy. I have to do this on my own. I have my self confidence back, my self estem is great and I can truly say I love myself, every inch of my body, every hair on my head. I love me!
Now all I have to do is lose wieight. Something I've always wanted to do. And I want to do it for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello, luvall4...welcome to FitDay :).
It sounds like you've done a lot of soul-searching and made a lot of progress on the mental and emotional fronts. We're glad you are here on your journey to be healthier and to take care of yourself. If you have any questions, just holler. Poke around and jump in any thread; looking forward to chatting with you.
Welcome to the forum. I too have long been the fat-happy-passably-pretty-girl, but no more, now I'm lean and mean when it strikes me to be so and guess what? I'm a lot happier on the inside than I used to be. Poo on that stupid husband. You're right you need to do this for you, not him, but all the better if you look so good he has to eat his heart out.
I just wanted to toss a couple of words of encouragement here! I have never been THIN, I have always been muscular with a tendency toward the stocky side. Then, I got married, had children and chased the dream. (I wish I knew what that was!) One day I looked in the mirror and realized, I was a fat man. I don't know what happened, I just became a fat guy. I was wearing trousers that were from the fat man shop and could no longer wear the custom tailored clothing I had purchased. Did I get angry? Nooooo, I got depressed and crawled into the refrigerator. If it was not bolted down, I at least chewed on it. I got virtually no support from home with my family keeping me supplied with candies, cakes and all manner of goodies. My health was shot (Diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol) It took a trip to the Caribbean and a conversation with a child to wake me up. An innocent 5 year old walked up to me and asked why I was so fat. His mother was appalled and is probably still apologizing. But the truth of the matter is I had just accepted the fact I was fat. Did you notice I used the term fat instead of overweight, obese or big? If I dress up the truth with nicer sounding words It is far too easy for me to stop my plan and crawl back into my self made prison of despair. My plan is far more drastic than yours. I investigated and then had bariatric surgery (last week, May 24th, 2011) When I started this mess I was weighing in at 396 (yep one FAT man) Today I weighed in at 326. I know I still have a long way to go but will now stick to my plan. For me to have any chance at succeeding I had to move out. At this time I am not considering divorce, but am willing to do what it takes including that to insure I will no longer be the fat man I was. My family is still merrily rolling downhill in a river of high fat high sugar foods and I am begging them to consider the possibility that they can crawl out of the hole they are in like I am fighting to do.
For you, I would offer three small things. Set small goals, Keep your ultimate goal in the front of your mind and surround yourself with positive people. If you do these things, you will positively succeed!
Best of luck
Good luck honey! I know how it feels when your happiness depends on what someone else does or feels. I have been working on myself as well. You have to take time and money to take care of yourself. It will make you a better wife/other/friend! You are worth it!! Good luck in your journey, it already sounds like you have come a long way!
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