So glad I found this place!
I've already posted a few times, but figured I should introduce myself:o.
My name is Kris, I live in Canada, and have been married over 5 years to my wonderful husband.
I have been heavy as long as I can remember. Since at least maybe 8 years old I would say.
My heaviest weight was 256 back years ago, I remember my size 26 jeans were starting to not fit, and thats when I worked to lose 35lbs. I stepped on the scale in January of this year and was just stunned I was almost back to that point(wearing size 24's which fit fine, so I thought I would have gotten warning:rolleyes:).
My family has a history of heart disease and diabetes. My Dad was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes at age 42. At age 52, early morning of christmas eve, he died in his sleep. He had a heart attack/cardiac arrest (not 100% sure which, but it doesn't matter). Two weeks before, my sister and I had discussed how we were worried about him, how he wasn't going to the doctor to get checked out, how he was sneaking cookies and things. But I spoke to him only hours before, and I never would have known he was about to die.
I was barely 24, my sister 27, my brother was just about to turn 21. He was the one who tried CPR, but it was too late. My Dad's 90 year old mother passed away the day after his funeral from cancer- she actually outlived him. He was the youngest of 6 siblings. He meant everything to me. It was totally preventable.
Two years ago my mom, on her birthday, was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. My grandfather(her dad) is diabetic, and after her party was testing himself, and offered for her to test. Her sugar was over 3 times what it should have been. She spent the night of her birthday in the ER getting tests done. I cried all night. She still eats a bunch of stuff I know she shouldn't. I know there exists the good chance of the same thing happening again.
I had high blood pressure when I was just 25 or so. The doctor gave me two months to get it better, or I would have to go on medication. Its since come down to that high normal area. I want it to be normal, period.
Its really embarrassing, but I'm going to say it. What broke the camel's back was one night, my husband and I had grilled cheese with homemade onion rings. Two slices of cheese, on texas toast bread, with bacon between. I felt digusting. Not physically, but mentally, just all over. Just thinking about it makes me feel ill.
Though nothing is written in stone, my chances of getting type two diabetes is now 75% because both my parents had it. I don't want it, and I'm going to do whatever I can to avoid it. There is the suspicion now that my younger brother already has it. I get tested often, I know I've been lucky so far. Everytime weight comes off, I feel pride that I haven't felt in a long time. Like I'm making the decision, I want to LIVE.
Thanks so much for welcoming here:)
Kris, WELCOME to the forum! I have to say that reading your post has really touched me today. I am so impressed by your honesty and your positive outlook. I hope you know that you have all the indredients it takes to succeed. I can't even tell you how much I wish that success for you! I really believe you can do it! Plus you are so young and have so much to live for.
I was just sitting here in my workout clothes trying to motivate myself to go to the gym. Almost one year ago I lost my dad too. He had a horrible disease, Lou Gehrig's, and suffered enormously but he was the bravest man I have ever known. It is coming up on the one year anniversary of his death and I am finding myself feeling really really sad and kind of depressed lately. I just want you to know that your post really hit home and has motivated me to get up and go now!
By the way, I'm Canadian too. Where are you in Canada? I live in Montreal.
Have an amazing day! :)
I'm so sorry for your loss, i know for me the first year after was the worst. That whole "getting over it" thing, is a bit of a farce. Of course you miss them, you always will. It doesn't really go away, just the intensity of it. Birthdays, Father's day and things like that are hard. I gained a lot of weight after he passed, because I just kind of fell apart. Working out would have been a lot more helpful. I think you're doing awesome.
My Dad had something he used to say to me when I would say(usually whining) I didn't want to do something. It was, "Do it Anyways".
I have an anxiety disorder that hit rock bottom after he died, so my husband got it engraved on a keychain for me. I was one of those people that at one point could barely leave the house. I could barely even stand having people over. Just the last couple years have I joined the land of the living again. When I need that push, I look at that keychain and it makes me smile. Some point I want to join a fitness class, kick two challenges with one stone:D
I'm in Ontario in the greater Toronto area (yeah I know, thats a big area, lol).
Hope you have an amazing day too, and thank you for the welcome!
Hi Kris, just wanted to join in and welcome you to the forums.
I am so sorry about your dad. That is a big hurt, I know from experience, and I can't imagine having it happen at such a young age, as yours did. I know it is hitting you hard that it was preventable and I applaud your commitment to start taking care of yourself. The power to make changes is yours and only yours, which is a blessing and a curse. You control your future in this area...what an opportunity and what a responsibility!
There are a lot of people here who can answer questions and provide support. Do your best to focus on you and take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who can help you achieve your goal of becoming healthy.
I know the situation with your mom is hard. It's tough to watch someone you love self-sabotage. At the end of the day, though, you have to take care of you and she has to take care of herself. But she may make changes yet. After years of begging, cajoling, rationalizing, and arguing on the part of the family, my mom finally quit smoking - at age 77. She just had to decide on her own that it was time; nothing we did or said made any difference.
I am really glad that you are making the decisions you are for yourself while you are young. You will thank yourself for it, trust me. Being healthy feels so good.
Looking forward to seeing you around!
Rose, thinking of you as that anniversary gets closer. I know it is tough. Just look at how far you've come, not just on the weight journey, either. Take care of yourself.
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