I don't want to die..
 

and that's why I am here.

My name is Amber. I am a 23 year old mother of two little girls. I am tired of being tired. It seems like my once clean bill of health is quickly deteriorating, as is my family history. I have a grandmother that just passed, a grandfather with two clogged neck arteries, a mother with a clogged neck artery, and an aunt that had her first heart attack at 42. I am not going down that road. I have kids that need me, and so I am going to fix this little mess I have gotten myself into.

I am 5'11", and last week I weighed 325 pounds. I have come to dislike myself as a person (largely because of my weight), and I am over that. I am ready to make myself into the person I NEED to be. I want to enjoy all that life has to offer me, and I can't. My anxiety and stress level is sky high, on top of just a crappy feeling all the time. I hope that losing the weight will help me learn to respect and love myself, and give me the energy to live the life I want to.

Today, I am down to 319. So 6 pounds. I have hired a personal trainer (we start January 1st!!), and I am starting to ease myself into my new life now. I look forward to getting to know alot of you here, and leaning on you for the inspiration I need to get through this.

Thanks so much!

welcome Amber, taking control of your health and fitness is the best thing you can do for yourself and family. It's not always going to be an easy road, so stay focus and keep pushing forward. You will be amazed at how much energy you'll have when the weight starts to come off. That alone will help you keep pushing.

The good thing is that you are still young. Your body will probably react better to the changes than someone older. Set some mini, short term goals but keep the mindset that this is a long term deal and you're in it for the long haul.

Welcome Amber! sounds like you've made some good first steps. I don't want you to die either! So keep going, one little step at a time will get you there!

Good for you for making an effort to change. I am 23 also!

Amber, yes, welcome. I am also 23 (well, for the second time) :D

Please do check out our 100 Pounds to Lose thread--we understand where you are at and the obstacles you face.

Great job on the first six pounds--if you work your plan the weight will melt off so fast!

Feel free to jump in with any questions and we'll try to help.

Regards,
Michael

thanks everyone! my trainer comes complete with a meal plan lol, so i hope that she can help me keep my eating under control.

i am paranoid about the way my body will look when i am done. the extra skin has my cringing, i dont want to be even more unhappy with myself (although i think that wont be the case...i am PRETTY unhappy right now).

i will check out the other forums! thanks so much for the warm welcome! :D

I believe that once again youth is on your side. Your skin should have a pretty good bit of elasticity. Naturally the faster you lose it, the hard it will be for the elasticity to keep up.

Welcome to the forums, Amber! Regarding your skin, Mike's right, it has a lot to do with elasticity, but I think as long as you lose the weight naturally (i.e. not through surgery) you won't have any significant problems with loose skin... at our age (I'm 24) the body tends to adapt to its conditions really well so as you lose weight your skin will automatically start to tighten up. If you lose really fast it might feel "less tight" but the longer you spend at a given weight the less that feeling will linger.

Welcome! I can say that when I lost a significant amount of weight at approximately your age (the last time I got to a healthy weight) I had no problems at all with lose skin. As has been said, you've got youth on your side.

Best of luck to you!

That's encouraging to hear :) I am down 9 pounds now! woot! A nice jumpstart is always nice to keep motivated lol.

Hi Amber... Beginnings and endings are way more fun than "middles," so if you get stuck or discouraged, fix in your mind the picture of your two little girls. Maybe put a picture of them in a prominent place in the kitchen. The other suggestion I have is do not starve yourself because that will promote bingeing. Choose healthy food, eat when you are hungry, even if it is more than x number of calories on a certain day. Figure out a plan that works for YOU personally. On the plus side, you are young and your body will help you if you give it what it needs. Never mind the past, done is done, now is your time to move forward. Best of luck, never give up, never never never... Noel

Amber, you're doing great! I so admire you for doing what you're doing, both for yourself and for your girls. I love your attitude. You want to change and you can do it. You can do it. You are doing it. I'm so glad you realize this now when you are young. As others have said, just keep sticking with it, even when it gets hard, especially when it gets hard. Keep your daughters in mind, but also keep yourself in mind. You are worth it, not just because you're a mom but because you are the person you are. It takes great courage to want to change and great courage to make that change. You have that courage, I can feel it in what you wrote. What a gift to yourself and to your girls! The best gift ever. And we here at Fitday will support you. Any time you feel you need help, there are good people here to help, support and encourage you.

Noel, may I ask you your height and weight and an example of what you eat in a given day. I admire your philospohy and would just like some details. I would be willing to give the same. Maybe we should start a different thread on this because I do not want to take away from Amber's achievements and her goals.

Amber in answer to the title of this thread not only do I believe that you will live but I believe that you will live better!!! Healthier and better!!! You're already starting.

BTW something I have used in the past which may sound silly but I offer it to you is a daily affirmation that you are already there. I remember once reading about an actor who used visualizations of himself getting a ridiculously big check for acting services rendered. If I told you the name of the actor, it would sound silly, and even this story, I know, sounds silly, but it did happen. Of course, you still have to take the necessary steps to make it happen; you can't just "wish" it there. We do have to work for our goals. But the attitude is that we have and can have what we want. For example, you don't have to look to the future for the time when you are beautiful, you already are.

Everything you want you already have; it is all within you.

OK now everyone can make fun of me for my "new age nonsense" but it is also Buddhist and also, I suspect, true. It's all there. We just have to realize it and make it happen.

canary, I totally agree. Our minds will try to align with our truth. If our truth is "I am a person who wishes to be thin" then that's what you'll move towards - a wishing person. If, however, your truth is "I am thin" then that what you move towards - a thin person. Say it, See it, Affirm it aka ...conceive, believe, achieve it

Exactly. Thank you so much for putting it this way!!!

today i am down 11 pounds :) not starving myself....just eating less, better, and moving more. cant wait to start trainig and jumpstart everything.

i have a list of about 15 affirmations i repeat to myself everyday. i have also stopped expecting myself to fail. i know that i can do this, and i am doing it.

thanks for all the kind words and advice canary, i appreciate it!

a huge well done Amber, you certainly seem to have the right attitude and motivation, the rest should be relatively easy with your mindset. We are all rooting for you, keep us posted! :)

Hi Canary, yes start a new thread if you like and I will give you that info. Inquiring minds, right? Call it the Naturally Thin thread. Merry Christmas... Noel

I did start it. It's in success stories. I have heard from other but not from you. Interested to hear your story.