Hi all :) bit of an essay, sorry 'bout that :)
 

G'day folks :) I signed up here a while back and have been using the tools on the site ever since. I have also been greatly inspired by some of the forum stories/posts, so I thought it might be a good idea if I say hello and introduce myself.

I'm a 38 year old, 200cm(6'6"), 136kg (301 lb) Aussie.
Although I still have a long way to go, over the past six months or so I have dropped from 160kg plus (scales wouldn't register any higher).
I cleaned up my diet (dropped all refined sugar, most breads, all fast food etc) and started llifting weights 3x a week and a half hour cardio( I know, slack, need more) most days.
When I started this, it was pretty much accidental.....I started working out to get my mind focussed on something other than a woman, who broke my heart and ,at the time, occupied my thoughts 100% of my waking time. I wasn't good enough for her, I knew it, she knew it and realizing that that was due to me being a slacker all my life and letting myself get into such abysmal shape, and that had I not done that, I would most probably still be with the girl of my dreams, very nearly shattered me beyond repair.
It drove me up the wall! It also drove me to push out that extra rep, or add that extra few pound to my normal lift and go the extra mile on my stationary bike. Basically, I would work out till exhaustion.....it was that or lay awake all night staring at the ceiling berating myself.

Thankfully (sadly??) I can now actually go a few hours at a time without thinking about her and that concerns me a bit. I have used the hurt and anger she aroused in me as fuel and motivation up to now, and I don't want to slack off after coming so far....if I can repeat over the next six months what I have done in the last six, I will be one lean, mean, human machine and in better shape than I have EVER been.
What do you folks use to STAY motivated long term? I jumped head first into this for all the wrong reasons, but having witnessed and benefited from the results of mindless, aggression/tension release working out, I now want to structure my whole workout and diet, and continue to lose fat and add lean muscle to my frame.

Apparently I 'carry my weight well', or that's what folks tell me anyway. Pretty much any time someone comments on how much weight I have lost and I tell them how much more I intend to lose, they are shocked and tell me there is no way I need to lose another 20+ kg. I just answer that with 'yeah, but you haven't seen me with my shirt off, I have.'
Women step inside my 'personal space' all the time now(they used to avoid that like the plague), and a great many of them like to touch, feel, squeeze, pat or just flat out POKE. Particularly chest, shoulders and biceps.
Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not complaining, I'm just concerned that I'll get to a 'hell, why bother aiming for more, what I have now seems to be working pretty well' type attitude. What keeps you guys going?

Anyway I better wind this up before I write a book on my whole life story :)
To those of you who have posted success stories and pictures of your journey, THANKYOU!! (especially Mike the mustang driving moderator dude....your posts/pics have been the motivation for quite a few workouts recently)

I'll be around for a while, and I intend to make better use of the food tracker thingy on the site, so will probably drop by daily at the very least.
Looking forward to the day I have the balls to post my own before and after shots.

BD

Thanks for sharing your story. Congratulations on your success. I'm sure many of us start out for similar reasons. The important thing is to look at how far you've come! I would recommend setting some goals for yourself, or trying some new sport/activity which will be a challenge for you. It can be a running goal if you've never been a runner, or try karate or something totally different from what you've been doing, but which you enjoy. You'll be working different muscles, and giving all those women even more reasons to want to get into your space.
And by the way, I think it's important that you post pictures here!

Thanks for the welcome and suggestions nottango :)

Working on the photos.

Everyone probably has different things motivating them on some levels and the same on others (to get in shape.) One of my motivations is my kid. I want to be a good role model. Plus I want to be around.

But also for myself. I've always felt better lighter and more fit. Plus after losing 10lbs, my blood pressure went down about 20 points. I would love to get off the bp meds I'm on. With a family history of diabetes, heart attacks and stroke, this is no joke. Plus when I'm thinner, I am, to quote a long ago friend, also from Australia, cuter than a bug's ear. OK that is a joke.

But I think using others' success (and the moderator Mike is an excellent one) is great. You've come so far, BD, don't quit now. You started out doing it on some levels for the girl you lost. Maybe now you can do it for the better one you'll find. (maybe one of the bicep squeezers... maybe not.)

Welcome and congratulations on your success so far. Excellent advise above. Do it for yourself. Our egos and self esteem often get beat down due to our physical attributes. We look in the mirror or step on the scale and feel like a loser. We know we have failed to treat ourselves the way we deserve. Some give into the inner voices and create excuses why they can't change. Others determine that they are in control of their bodies and their lives. They set goals and their success helps to rebuild their ego and fuel their self esteem. Besides being willing to undertake activities that they wouldn't have considered when they were heavier, many people also find that they are more outspoken and outgoing when their physical image of themselves improves.

I have experienced the loss of motivation myself. After losing 45 pounds from my heaviest I was feeling good about my looks (although I still had much to improve). I plateaued for several months but I have recently focused on new reasons and motivation to continue. (I have a elk hunt scheduled with my sons next fall, I need to be lighter and in better aerobic shape to take on rugged terrain at elevations above 9,000 feet.)

Some times you can create your own motivation. Set a goal to run an upcoming 5k race or determine to enter a bodybuilding or power lifting competition, like nottango alluded to. Finding a good workout partner who will push you will also make it easier.

Thank you for the encouragement canary52, and I'm sure you are every bit as cute as a bug's ear no matter how fit you happen to be . If there is one thing you can be sure of, it is that us Aussies have a curious way of wording things :)

Rpmcduff, thanks for the advice. I am over doing this for anyone else, it is all about and for me now. I am lucky enough to already have a training partner and the competition, the respect he shows for what I have already achieved and the simple desire to not let my mates down or let them see me fail is indeed a great source of motivation. The fact he is 40 kilo lighter, a foot shorter and a few years older than me makes the fact he can out lift me a tad on the embarrassing side, but I am determined that will change before too long.

Thanks for the welcome and encouragement folks, this is a great site and community and I find that just knowing there are other people out there who are going through the same sort of thing I am, or who have done it before and know what it takes and how it feels is fairly encouraging and motivating in itself.

BD

Hi BD and welcome! I know its hard to keep motivated, all of us have those struggles now and then but its due time to make this about you and not about the girl that broke your heart. As much as that can be great motivation continuously playing it over and over in your head could also be bad for you. Like Canary said, think about the girl you want to meet! It sounds like your getting yourself into a much healthier frame of mind. And enjoy the attention, you deserve it for all the hard work you are doing! Take it from a woman, living well is the best revenge. And don`t be hard on yourself for your past relationship mistakes, dwelling on them will only make you miss out on a great woman who is out there waiting for you. You realized that you need to change and if the breaking apart of the relationship is whats going to change your life for the better, then i say, eventually maybe you can look at it as a stepping stone to the best you you can be. We all need help staying motivated, this group is amazing for that. Make small goals for yourself and having a partner is also a great way to be accountable. Sounds like your doing a great job already! I tell you what, you post your pics along the way, and I just might post mine too! lol
Good Luck!

Hello BD,

My story is almost parallel to yours. I started on this weight loss journey because of a man. We met online and when I finally met him face-to-face in October, it was a disaster. Even though I had lost a bunch of weight by the time we met (25 lbs, I think), it was still not enough. He completely rejected me and it was the most humiliating experience of my life. Like you mentioned, I know that if I had kept myself in better shape I would be with the man of my dreams right now.

But, I've managed to continue on with my weight loss efforts. I'm down by 35 lbs. now. I'm beginning to discover some interesting things about the whole scenario now that I couldn't see at the time:

1. That guy who I loved isn't physically perfect either, yet I saw beyond his flaws and loved him in spite of them. I honestly didn't see his physical flaws until recently. It's true that love is blind.

2. I'm not the ugly troll that he made me feel like I was. When I see myself now, I actually think I'm kinda hot.

3. I can NEVER let another person define who I am ever again. I let him influence me too much about how I felt about myself.

4. He has a lot of problems I didn't see at the time. He has since passed up on a couple of very beautiful women because of their physical flaws. I see a pattern in HIM that has nothing to do with me. I think he's not ready for a relationship, so he finds reasons to push people away (reasons which are their fault, of course).

I still love him, but I have a much better perspective on what REALLY happened now than I did at the time. I used to think that I wasn't good enough for him - exactly like you mentioned above. Now, I'm not sure he's a good person for me. I don't say that in an angry, vengeful sort of way. It's just that time has given me a different perspective on things and I really want to be with someone who has more realistic expectations about their partner, who will love me while I'm in a state of process (not only when I'm at my best), and someone who wants to share the journey getting there with me.

Tavisha

Tavisha, I was with a guy who felt I was not good enough for him when I was 20 and weighed 120 lbs. I'm 5'5" but he wanted some strokebook ideal.

You know what? With the last guy who picked apart my flaws (I seemed to attract the type when I was young) I looked at him and gave him an honest assessment of his attributes. Who was he to tell me I was too this or that? Bottom line, you don't need to be with someone who is so deeply shallow.

I found a guy who loves and accepts me for me and we've been married 28 years through thick and thin. Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are and not what they look like.

That being said, yes, BD, I am cute as a bug's ear! Not young not perfect but still goin' strong at 50!!!

Bluedog,

You have no idea how much it means to mean to be mentioned in your post. I'm so glad that I could help inspire/ motivate you!

If you feel the need to slack, just know that one day you two will cross paths again. Wouldn't it be great that when you do, you will be in the best shape of your life?? Then you can look at her and you will both know what she's missing out on!!!!

Seriously keep pushing man! Soon enough you'll have your pictures up and someone will be posting about how much you inspried them... and that alone makes it worth it. :)

Keep up the great work! we are all here for you. If you ever need motivation, just think of seeing her in 6 months. I also get a lot of motivation from others, I love watching videos of people successes! This isn't one of my videos but IMO this video will motivate anyone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbXgQqbOoU

great video, mike. very inspirational, like you.

thanks. :o

I've tried to make my videos inspirational but none are like that. That one gets me going every time.

BD would probably know that better than I would but I got it from an Aussie friend.

Even though I can no longer run, that video inspired me to try harder to do what I can do.

Awesome vid Mike, thanks for posting that link.
There was a post you made a while back, something like "Hey fatso, you are fat because you let it happen, it's your fault" or something to that effect......that really hit home with me. Your straight up, no BS manner was enough to grab my attention, what the rest of that post had to say was bang on the money, and the pics you posted showed you were speaking from experience and knew what you were talking about.
This may sound a bit strange, but until recently, I couldn't even imagine myself being a normal weight. I have been overweight or obese my entire life and was pretty much convinced that was never going to change.
I had come to accept that I would always be fat and that there wasn't a lot I could do about it.....basically, I had filed away what is probably one of the most important things I will ever do, in the 'too hard' basket and given up.
Boy was I shortchanging myself with that mindset!! It was posts like yours and pics of people who have walked the same road that changed the way I thought and convinced me this CAN be done, and that if someone else can and has done it, there's absolutely no reason why I can't.
Once again, thanks man, you most certainly are an inspiration. :)


Strawberryhotcake, I am doing this all for me now, I'm not in it for revenge, or to spite a woman, I am out to build 'BD Mk II', the all new, much improved version. I was going to call it 'BD 2.0' but that sounds too much like a little four cylinder Japanese import .
It was realising that dwelling on the past and running things over and over in my mind was an extremely unhealthy way to go that originally made me go pick up a dumbell and get a sweat on.
Mentally and emotionally, I am all sorted...it's just the physical part of me that still needs some work.


Tavisha, thanks for the welcome and sharing your similar story. Humiliation is one hell of a motivating force is it not? I have a piece of paper on the wall above my PC monitor that says " Remember how she made you feel...wanna go back to more of that?", one look at that is enough to have me jumping out of the chair and onto the stationary bike or picking up a dumbell. Like you, I will NEVER let another person make me feel as bad about myself as that woman did, if what it takes to ensure that is a rock hard sculpted body, well that's what it takes and that's what I'll do.
Oh, btw, you aren't 'kind of hot' at all....you are beautiful, don't ever believe anyone who tells you otherwise ,they are quite obviously a fool and as blind as a bat.:)


I have no idea if the 'cuter than a bug's ear' saying is an Aussie thing, but it is certainly the sort of thing people around here say.....I walked into my mate's gym the other day and he said "mate, you look great. The weight is peeling off you faster than a bride's knickers on her wedding night" I LOLed, literally. You've gotta love a descriptive phrase that conjures up a mental image like that one ;)

BD

BD,

LOL you are talking about http://www.fitday.com/fitness/forums...y-you-fat.html . The funny thing is how this started. I was coming through the Walmart parking lot and got stuck behind someone that would rather wait and tie up the line behind them for a closer parking spot, than actually walk. At that point the amount of laziness that happens everyday in front of us that we never really notice was an eye opener for me. As I went shopping I pretty much thought up everything that I posted. I couldn't wait to get home and just lay it all out. The response I got was really uplifting. I thought that more people would think that I was being critical but it seemed that nearly everyone agreed. I guess you can't please them all... :D

But yeah, if I can do you, you can too. All it takes is a little will power. We were all taught about "the little engine that could" when we were younger but it seems that we have a hard time saying "I think I can, I think I can, I know I can!"

Just make that commitment to do it!

Here are some of my favorite videos that I've made (they're kinda old) but it makes it easy to see the changes that your body goes through.

Last November
YouTube - P90X YTF&F this is my story (Mike)

Last December
YouTube - P90X-YTF&F 90day transformation Round 1

Last Superbowl Sunday
YouTube - P90X YTF&F round 2 day 56 transformation update

hey dude. 6'5" here too and 280 lbs. Maintained a normal weighth for ten years, (between 215 and 235) but let go of some long accepted limitations last spring and sure enough, packed on 50 lbs. in the last seven months. That was just the beginning and I know it. My top weight was 385 lbs. at age 21. So, I'm one hundred pounds less than that. But I am a hopeless over eater and my over eating only accelerates.

Sorry about the girl, bro. Glad to read you are getting a few hours a day free from the obsession with her. It will pass, only time and as much self-improvement you can muster, will accomplish that. I guarantee you, one day you will be free. Cheers.

Reeealllly inspirational stuff being shared....
Thanks, as I sip my tea with lemon.. ( my evening snack lately)
Katy
Ps tavisha I LOVE your goals...
1st Goal: Get out of the "obese" category on the BMI chart.

2nd Goal: Get out of the "overweight" category on the BMI chart.

mine too! But I had not put those into words...The visual aspect of moving from the 32% obese into merely overweight is one of my first ambitions here.
K

Thanks Ox :)
Now the pounds and inches have started to fall off me, I have found I have no dramas meeting new people, and there is no better way to forget about a woman who you used to have than to give all your attention to the ones who are available now :)
Partied HARD over xmas/new years, met some delightful members of the fairer sex, had an absolute ball and still managed to drop a few kilo, so it's all good.
The one I lost has no idea what she is missing out on these days, and whereas it was definitely her that kicked me off into sorting myself out, she doesn't have a lot to do with it anymore.....for me now it is all about being more and better than I was yesterday.

I have to ask mate....you say you are a hopeless overeater....why is that?
You obviously recognize you do it, and realize it is a problem. Is it just habit? or something more than that? How does it make you feel when you do it? Do you feel much pleasure, or does it make you feel guilty and depressed?
It really is none of my business, so answer only if you feel you want to, but I have found that asking myself questions like that about why I do things has made me come up with a few answers that surprised myself, and thereby made it easier to deal with the cause of the problems rather than just the effects. Feel free to PM me if you like, it's always good to have folks of a similar body type to discuss things with I reckon.

Anyway, happy new years everyone, hope this one is better than all preceding it. Thanks for all the nice comments and encouragement, this is an awesome community and an invaluable source of motivation, keep it up all, you lot ROCK! :)

BD

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