So I let myself go...
When I was younger I was thin and very athletic. Time marches on and I've gained weight-lots of weight. I'm ashamed and embarrassed over how much I weigh and I no longer like to go out in public unless I'm going to work or at an event for my kid.
There was a guy who was interested in me. We had a previous history together. He said he loved me and I fell for him. Well, he now has a girlfriend-younger and very skinny. He says she can do things that I can't do for him. Yep, that hurt.
I'm tired of being who I am and I'm tired of hiding. I'm tired of settling for less than I deserve. I'm doing my best now to lose the weight and tone/sculpt my body. I want to look fantastic and feel better about myself. This is for me and it's about changing not just my physical appearance but also my mental health. The more I lose, the better I'll feel about myself. It's time to take the first step.
(Yes, what he did was a catalyst. Do I still want him? Not really. Do I want to flaunt my new body in front of him someday in public? Absolutely. I want him to realize what he's missing and what he'll never have back. I also want this for myself-the anger over him is the last straw.)
It takes time, but you will do this - you'll achieve your goal.
I don't believe having a younger girlfriend is going to work out that well for him. It could be that it is a great love story (in which case, be happy for him if you love him - everyone deserves that!) but relationships are difficult. That relationship may fizzle.
By the time you've lost the weight you want to lose, taking the amount of time that you need to do that, you may not care anymore how hurtful his remarks were. You'll be too busy with other things in your life and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. His negative influence in your life will feel unwanted and out of place. I hope so.
When he is out of that relationship and reappraising you, aren't you going to wonder why he didn't love you for you, not your measurements? Apply his own standards to him: if he lost his hair, or gained a lot of weight, would you dump him?
Thank you. I know I can eventually make my goal. This event is what made me angry enough with myself to actually decide to try.
I'm pretty sure the relationship will fizzle. He's nearing 40, has a pot belly, is gray and losing quite a bit of his hair. She's 23 and doesn't even have a job. He's supporting her right now. He called the other day to tell me how he just found her an apartment and how they are looking at cars for her.
Once upon a time we both looked good. He's never stopped thinking that he looks good while I did. I want to look good again, for me and for a bit of revenge. I think I deserve something fun in my life and this is my goal. Losing the weight will be hard enough as it is without a long term goal in mind.
|All times are GMT. The time now is 05:34 AM.|