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-   -   Seeking a healthy lifestyle that will last! (http://www.fitday.com/fitness/forums/motivation-support/9637-seeking-healthy-lifestyle-will-last.html)

jacklin 05-29-2013 06:04 PM

Seeking a healthy lifestyle that will last!
 
This is a struggle for me. Finally putting in writing how I struggle with my weight, self-esteem, lack of energy...they're all related, right? It's hard to admit I struggle daily with my weight however if you were to look at me it would be no secret.

A little background....I turned 40 in December so its getting harder to lose weight now as some of you may know. But things are different for me now. It's not just about fitting into that bikini or buying the smaller sizes. Don't get me wrong, those things are great, but after this morning I have come to realize I have to make some changes so I can become a healthy, confident mom to my daughter. I have been married to a wonderful man for 12 years and since my wedding day my weight has steadily crept up. I was in the 130's on our wedding day. By the time I had my biggest and best suprise, being pregnant at the age of 37, my weight was up to 190. After a healthy pregnancy I was able to quickly lose 30 of the 40 pounds I had gained, confident that I would lose that last 10 and then more. I then suffered 2 miscarriages within 6 months which as you can imagine was heartbreaking. It is still something that I really don't talk about as it was a changing moment in my life....I gave up on myself. I have devoted my time to my family and put on a smiling face for friends and family but stopped taking care of myself. I have no doubt I was depressed during those dark months although I never sought medical attention for it. Since then my weight has crept up to 243 at its highest. That is higher than when I gave actually gave birth! For the record, I know this is a lot of personal information but I feel that I finally need to be honest about my struggles if I am to move forward. I am ashamed of the way I have let myself go and am horrified of the thought that my daughter would have to worry about my health or be embarrassed by my size.

Everything came to a hault today as I was forced to look at what I have done to myself. I went to the doctor this morning because I caught some cold that my husband and daughter have been passing back and forth. They took my blood pressure 4 times....the first was 165/100, the second....185/150, the third and fourth were back "down" to 168/98. That's when I finally realized this can no longer be a fantasy to lose weight. I have to take care of myself so I can be a healthy mother to my daughter and a better wife to my husband. Most importantly, I need to learn to start liking....even loving myself again. On a side note, my husband was just diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes so this is obviously a family issue and I don't want my daughter to ever have to struggle with her weight or body image as I have.

I hope that by posting my story, I can hold myself accountable to my future goals. I'm not looking for a quick fix nor do I feel the need to lose all my weight in a short amount of time. I am looking for a lifestyle change full of activity and healthy eating....not just a diet that I will do until I hit my goal weight then go back to way things were (a mistake I've made in the past). I would like to reach my goal weight of 125 pounds and I'm going to give myself a goal of 1 to 1 1/2 pounds lost per week. I've done the thing where I have lost over 10 pounds in the first couple of weeks only to gain 12 back the next month. Been there, done that. Please, in no way am I knocking any of the other people that have had great success in a short amount of time. I am so happy for them! I have just learned that for myself....when I lose weight quickly, I seem to put it back on at an even quicker pace. This is my journey and I have to start accepting some facts that I have learned about myself along the way.

The doctor says that the high blood pressure may be due to the illness (I don't have a history of high blood pressure despite my weight issues). She gave me some antibiotics and said I needed to take care of this first before we looked at my weight or blood pressure.....interestingly enough she didn't set up a follow up appointment. So, I'm taking things into my own hands. I will take the 10 days of the medicine and am scheduling a physical for the following week. For the first time ever, I have been counting my sodium intake for the day. That has been an eye opener.

Once again, I'm sharing my story so I can hold myself accountable and maybe someday inspire others with my success along the way. As of today, I was at 235.8....wish me luck

episode2011 05-29-2013 11:03 PM

Hello there, Jacklin! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I particularly love the line "This is my journey and I have to start accepting some facts that I've learned about myself along the way." So true!

There's a thread a few of us post on fairly regularly and I think it may be what you're looking for. Basically, people post up some goals for the week, whatever is important to THEM, then post during the week to make updates on their progress. There is no competition and no pressure. Just support, motivation, advice, tips and camaraderie! A new thread starts every Monday; here is the one for this week --->7 Day Motivational Thread, starting May 27: New Week, New Start". Take a peek, and, if it looks like something that might interest you, jump on in. You don't even have to wait til Monday! Hope to see you there!

nottango 05-30-2013 12:02 AM

Welcome Jacklin!
Fitday has been a really positive experience for me. I have been using it for almost 3 years - very religiously at first, and now sporadically. I do not track every calorie anymore, but do track my weight and check in with the forums. I also use the journal section, and have found it very useful - it really helps with figuring out what triggers mindless eating, and develop strategies for dealing with tough issues.
My journey has been tough, but so worth it! I do not follow a specific "diet" - don't believe in them - just eating mostly healthy foods and limiting (not avoiding) junk. Since reaching my goal in Spring 2011, I have been able to keep my weight within 10 pounds or so, and have no health issues at age 47.
Good luck and keep posting! Your story will inspire more people than you know.

jacklin 05-30-2013 01:38 PM

Thanks so much for the support! Episode, I do plan to keep posting. In the past, I have made so many promises to myself that I will do it THIS time, only to make an excuse for cheating on the diet and then the all or nothing personality takes over and its back to the old way. Then, it is followed by a fresh round of guilt and self loathing that leads to another round of overeating because in some sick way, in that moment, I believe that the food I'm stuffing in my face is the only thing that will make me feel better. It really has been a vicious cycle. My thinking is that if I can go public with my goals, I will hold myself more accountable.

Nottango, I will check out the other thread. I think I was looking at some of the posts yesterday as I was surfing through the site. It does look like a nice, supportive fit for me.

Yesterday was full of enlightenment. I started looking at the sodium in all of the foods I was eating and sure enough, I am on sodium overload. Even the frozen green beans that I cook (in chicken broth followed by a boullion cube) is loaded in sodium after I'm through with them. I did realize that I was adding sodium in a healthy item...I just didn't realize how much. I'm going to have to rethink the way I prepare my "healthy" foods...not just look at calories like I have in the past. I have been rereading "20 Years Younger" by Bob Green and a book on reversing diabetes for my husband's health issues since I am the cook in the family. They both encourage you to look at your eating style in the beginning by not focusing on what you can't have, but focus on what needs to be added to your diet. Also, start small to ensure you have some success. So, I have started adding some fruits and vegetables to our diet. We made some baggies this morning full of fruit. I have strawberries, apple slices, blackberries, and blueberries in the bags. Apparently the berries don't have as much sugar so its good for my husband's diabetes and low in sodium for me, plus they are full of vitamins and antioxidents. I'm still trying to get over my chest cold but we did walk last night with our daughter and pups. It was a leisurely stroll (about 3/4 of a mile) but at least we were active rather than plopped in front of the TV. As we regain control of our health, I really want to be a positive role model for our daughter. We've already decided to buy bikes when she is old enough to ride so we can all ride together!

On a good note, I was at 234.6 this morning so I'm down 1.2 pounds. It's a beginning!

jacklin 07-30-2013 02:33 PM

It's been a while since I've posted but 3 doctors later I'm finally seeing the light. I've always been passive with doctors but I've found I've had to really take charge in my own health. After going to the 2nd female doctor, noting my blood pressure was extremely high and she sent me home telling me to continue to monitor it, I changed doctors again to my husband's doctor. My husband liked him because he's a real tell it like it is kind of guy and boy is he. I went in and he immediately put me on blood pressure medication that has slowly brought it down over the summer. Secondly, we had a hard talk about my weight. He told me I was at a cross roads. I could continue this path and probably be on meds for diabetes by next year and within 10 years possible heart disease.....or I could start a healthy lifestyle and at this point everything is completely reversable. Come to find out, my hormone levels are completely off so we are working to get that back in order. Of course that has alot to do with my weight and will self regulate as I continue to lose. I have had my ups and downs the past couple of months but I'm happy to say that I'm now at 225.8 pounds. I couldn't tell you the last time I lost 10 pounds over a summer! We have gone on a couple of vacations and I have continued to eat the foods I love but I have really focused on portion control. I've added in fruits as my afternoon snack. My doctor has recommended that I eat the majority of my food before 3 pm. Dinner should just be a meat and veggie. Sounds simple but it is working. My blood pressure was so high, it wasn't recommended that I exercise at a high level so I've continued to go for light walks for 30 minute segments. I go back in at the end of August and I'm hoping I will be able to step that up a little bit but for now I'm enjoying my success. I'm truly embracing this journey as a marathon, not a quick 100 yard dash.

nottango 07-31-2013 11:01 AM

Good Job!
 
Glad to see you've kept your commitment. Sadly, many people post once or twice and then disappear. Sounds like you have the right attitude for success - focus on long-term healthy habits and not depriving yourself of favorite foods. :)
Hormones can be real b*tches!

jacklin 08-02-2013 12:50 PM

Thanks nottango! I have to say that my attitude is different this time around. I have a sense of calmness about me knowing what I need to do. Before, I was always stressed thinking I needed to lose a certain amount in # months before we hit the beach...or before this party when I see this person I haven't seen in a while, etc. After meeting with the dr and hearing the hard truth, I know I have to change for myself and for my family. My husband has already started to see a change and I've had 3 different people comment on my complexion. One person said they couldn't figure out what was different but I looked great. I will say the blood pressure medication has alot to do with that. I find my face isnt as flushed and I do feel better. I hadn't posted in a while because I was really just trying to get the right doctor and figure out a plan. I will continue to post my progress in order to keep myself accountable and maybe I can help someone out there who is in my shoes. This isn't an easy journey. But I want to live a long, healthy, active life with my husband and daughter. I think it is worth it!!!:) As of today, I am at 225, so another.8 of a pound down. Slowly, slowly creeping down but it is progress and I'll take it!

sailgal1 08-10-2013 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jacklin (Post 99298)
Thanks so much for the support! Episode, I do plan to keep posting. In the past, I have made so many promises to myself that I will do it THIS time, only to make an excuse for cheating on the diet and then the all or nothing personality takes over and its back to the old way. Then, it is followed by a fresh round of guilt and self loathing that leads to another round of overeating because in some sick way, in that moment, I believe that the food I'm stuffing in my face is the only thing that will make me feel better. It really has been a vicious cycle. My thinking is that if I can go public with my goals, I will hold myself more accountable.

Nottango, I will check out the other thread. I think I was looking at some of the posts yesterday as I was surfing through the site. It does look like a nice, supportive fit for me.

Yesterday was full of enlightenment. I started looking at the sodium in all of the foods I was eating and sure enough, I am on sodium overload. Even the frozen green beans that I cook (in chicken broth followed by a boullion cube) is loaded in sodium after I'm through with them. I did realize that I was adding sodium in a healthy item...I just didn't realize how much. I'm going to have to rethink the way I prepare my "healthy" foods...not just look at calories like I have in the past. I have been rereading "20 Years Younger" by Bob Green and a book on reversing diabetes for my husband's health issues since I am the cook in the family. They both encourage you to look at your eating style in the beginning by not focusing on what you can't have, but focus on what needs to be added to your diet. Also, start small to ensure you have some success. So, I have started adding some fruits and vegetables to our diet. We made some baggies this morning full of fruit. I have strawberries, apple slices, blackberries, and blueberries in the bags. Apparently the berries don't have as much sugar so its good for my husband's diabetes and low in sodium for me, plus they are full of vitamins and antioxidents. I'm still trying to get over my chest cold but we did walk last night with our daughter and pups. It was a leisurely stroll (about 3/4 of a mile) but at least we were active rather than plopped in front of the TV. As we regain control of our health, I really want to be a positive role model for our daughter. We've already decided to buy bikes when she is old enough to ride so we can all ride together!

On a good note, I was at 234.6 this morning so I'm down 1.2 pounds. It's a beginning!

Jacklin, so wonderful to hear you are taking control of your weight issues, something I have dealt with for a lifetime. I would like to add something you may like to consider since your hubs was diagnosed with type 2, if he reduces the carbs in his diet (including fruits)he will see his numbers get into range, lose weight and be healthier. I am type 2 and allow up to 30 grams of carbs per day, most days less than 20, carbs turn into glucose which increases blood sugar. I'm sure you are familiar with Atkins, Southbeach, and those diets that reduce carbs, but since it is so imperative for diabetics, you may want to visit the bloodsugar101 website for help for your husband. Everyone eating the same way in the household will be less stressful, and a journey to a healthy lifestyle.

Congratulations on your continued weight loss!

jacklin 08-20-2013 05:43 PM

Thanks sailgal! I'll check that site out for my husband. Since I am the primary cook in the house it really does come down to me with what my family eats. My husband has already lost over 10 pounds just by changing up what we have been eating for dinner. His blood sugar levels have dropped significantly as well so hopefully he is on his way to reducing his medication. He doesn't have near the amount of weight that I have to lose but the diabetes thing has always scared me so I'm proud of him for doing this with me. I think he wants to lose about 15 more pounds and he'll be at his goal weight.

As for me, I'm down to 216 as of this morning. The weight is steadily coming off. I am going back to the doctor in a couple of days so I'm hoping that I'll be able to up my exercise a bit. I'm still just doing the leisurely walking thing and started lifting some light weights. I bought a yoga "for beginners" dvd....for beginners, yeah right. I could barely get through the thing. I had to laugh at myself. I just keep thinking I have to look at the progress I continue to make...not how far I have to go, that is just way to overwhelming at this point!

I continue to struggle with my blood pressure. I have a stressful job and deal with some difficult people at work but then again who doesn't?? I need to figure out a way to deal with the stress in a healthy way. I've written down some positive quotes I try to focus on instead of silently brewing over some nasty comment or unprofessional gossip that comes my way, but I really think exercise will eventually be my savior on this one. If I can just get the okay from the dr. to step it up a notch, I'm hoping that'll help with the tension I sometimes feel. I also know as the weight continues to come off, it will eventually come back down.

Another positive, I was able to wear a shirt that I couldn't squeeze into for over 2 years! I am starting to see and feel the results!! Pound by pound I'm getting closer and feeling better:)

looser20131 08-22-2013 02:12 PM

hello, my name is Kathy & also struggling with these same Issues. I'm 250 Lbs & NOT very motivated when it come to exersize. I just turned 50 & NEVER liked much of myself. I put on a pretty good front but Truthfully I'm just not happy with myself & need to change it. I would like to keep in touch with you as I start my new journey. what do you say?


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