Has anyone heard of these or done one? Just wondering?

Comments would be great! I am struggling, hate my body right now and have let it go for the last 9 years. X-anorexic and then recovered. So I dared not to do anything for years and then... I began liking food. That was a bad thing. So, now I find myself in the older, 54yrs old, 142 lbs and 5.2 and 3/4 height. Overweight category. I hate the way I feel. Don't like not having energy, bending over and feeling every fat cell. I am mad at self. I also have lupus so am struggling with trying to get into a exercise plan. I start a exercise plan and have to quit because I over did it and then my arthritis (lupus arthritis) acted up and gave me swollen joint.
I swear I am going to start 04/19/12, but I have to go very slow...
Just discouraged, disgusted, non-motivation.

( and mad at myself.