Hi. I saw a show from England on YouTube called 'Secret Eaters.' They put cameras in the participants houses, people who believed they ate healthily, but couldn't figure out why they couldn't lose or were putting on weight. The participants knew about those cameras, but didn't know that the show followed them around with private detectives! They tracked everything the participants ate, much of which turned out to be a surprise to them because they forgot about it.
I think many of us are secret eaters in a way. For moms of small kids, they may mindlessly eat from their kids' plates or eat left overs as they clean up after meals. people who work may not realize all the little snack items they eat while working, etc.
I'm sure you will get a lot of good advice, I will just add that it is useful to write down what you eat, as with Fitday, and be mindful of what you are eating. I know that being accountable to that Fitday ledger has made me stop and think a few times this week before putting something in my mouth. : )
And, contrary to some eating plans, I think it is useful to count calories. I am basically vegetarian and when you go veg or vegan, many plans will say you don't have to count calories, but it is easy to get carried away with cheese or processed veg*n foods. The more natural, the better, but I'm beginning to think there's no escape from counting calories.