This is going to sound harsh, but dump this guy. Men like that need to be alone, and don't even deserve to have you. Don't waste your love on him, no matter how much love you have for him. Love shouldn't feel like you are in deep water and you don't know how to swim. Let go of this anchor that is holding you back. I don't know how much he weighs, but losing him would be an instant weight loss! Your happiness is most important. I am glad you have one foot out the door, let the other one follow it. He's not worth any more effort.
Weight loss of 52 pounds