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Old 02-05-2013, 06:23 PM   #43 (permalink)
bojibridge
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 516
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Haha, Mike, I look forward to losing thousands of pounds a week! To answer your questions, I really haven't noticed that my clothes are looser. I have noticed that I can run farther and longer than I could at the start, which is good. I just... well, if being able to run more was my goal, that would be awesome, and it *is* awesome, and probably means I'm healthier and I should be happy about that and I *am* happy. But I have to be honest about what my biggest goal is - it's to be skinnier. I'm sick of being chunky, and having clothes not fit nicely or not being able to wear the cute outfits I see around me. I'm sick of not feeling very sexy or attractive. So yeah, it's great that I can run 20 minutes more than I could 6 weeks ago, but dang it, I just want to be a skinnier person. And I know that will happen, but I'm really a results driven person (I mean, aren't we all, a little bit?) and when I put in this effort and I don't *see* the results, I basically feel like I haven't gotten anywhere. And it's been so hard. This whole process is not making me a happier person. All I think about is, "When can I eat next? Is this going to fit into my calories? No, you can't have that, 'cause if you had even one bite, you'd eat the whole bag." At least before, I might have been sad that I wasn't skinny, but I didn't go around all day thinking in the back of my mind about what I was and wasn't allowed to eat and when the next food would be and how long I would have to wait to eat more. I know I have emotional attachment issues with food, but I don't know how to not feel this way. How do you go from just wanting to stuff your face to being like, "Oh I only eat to fuel my body!" I just feel like mentally exhausted at the end of the day. There's never a single day where it's easy to stay under my calorie limit.

I dunno, I feel like I'm being a little melodramatic, but I'm feeling pretty angsty right now, so oh well.
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Joanna

Starting weight: 192.0 lbs (6/19/2011)
Lowest weight: 154.6 (6/25/2012)
Current weight: 164.4 lbs (10/28/2013)
Total lost: 27.6 lbs
Goal: 132 lbs
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