Sharkbait is new and needs fitness assistance!
I'll try to keep this short and sweet. I deal with depression every single day. It's a difficult and grueling process every second and I found out that working out is the only thing that keeps me "sane," if you will.
I recently started working out (again) because I am incredibly overweight. Didn't used to be though. I am very tiny 1/2 asian under this huge cacoon of a body. I used to be very active but I stopped because of depression. I could have worked through it but I didn't and now it is harder than ever to get back into it.
Take some advice, people reading this: Do NOT start working out for a month and then stop for a month. Do NOT work out for a week and then stop for a week. It does more damage to your body than anything
I need motivation help. I need a work out routine. I have no space. I have no help. I have no money for a gym. I am addicted to soda something feirce. I've cut back to only drinking it about once a week but that one day I benge because it's like turning on a light. Going from a bad day to a great day with a Dr. Pepper. I know... sounds stupid, right?
I started walking about a mile a day which is hard for two reasons. 1: 5 years ago I could run that without breaking a sweat. Whether I walk or do other types of exercise, I feel like I am not doing enough to appease my bodily needs because I do about 1/10 of the work out I -used- to do. And 2: It's hard.. like I said... my heart feels like it beats out of my chest from ---walking--- and a few other minor exercises.
I don't know when to progress and every second I feel the discourage bug crawling down my neck. I don't know when to take a break so I usually end up hurting myself if I decide to "go that extra mile" or "work out extra hard today."
I used to be an instructor in TaeKwonDo. Hardworking, confident, and all around versatile. Now, it's hard to just get out of my house and go to a public area. Even while walking, I feel eyes on me. Yes, I'm paranoid and have issues, I know. I've seen counselors, Psychiatrists, but they just say "I'm sure you'll find a work out routine that'll suit you, you've done it before with your martial arts!"
My home is cluttered, I live with other people. People I despise working out in front of and every time I do I go into a stress response and feel like curling up in a ball and disappearing rather than working out. So I walk... and hope that I continue to do so.
I guess what I am asking is, when do I progress? Where do I slow down? Give me advice on how -you- kept your motivation. Every time I think "Keep going, Sharkbait! You can do it!" there is another part of me that wants to just... shut down...
Is my body different because I used to be active from the ages of 6-19?
I guess that wasn't short and sweet. My apologies. Needless to say, I just need help.
Information about myself:
255 lb. 5 foot 7 inches tall. 24 Years old
I want to lose 80 pounds. That's goal number 1. and I want to do it as fast as humanly possible.
No injuries or disorders. A little blue (understatement) but hopefully I'll be able to get through it for my goals and my general well-being.
I do not smoke.
I did several different martial arts (TaeKwonDo mainly) for about 13 years.
I do not have access to a gym but that could change. I don't have money or a job at the moment and as soon as I get a job, I have student loans to pay off.