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Old 01-23-2013, 02:38 PM   #52 (permalink)
bojibridge
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 516
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Well, I'm currently sitting in class, but I'm having a hard time paying attention because I've learned this stuff a million times before. It's an undergrad class on special and general relativity, but I'm only in it for the general relativity, which we won't get to 'til the second half of the semester. So for now, my mind is wandering, so I'm here to grace you with my presence!

Yesterday was fine for me. I got over the fact that I wasn't eating Italian (it's not like it was high quality stuff - just from the student union here on campus.) I signed up for bootcamp classes at a local gym, and I'm really enjoying it. Usually I'd plan on doing every other day so I could still get my running in, but it's so dang cold outside that there's no way I'm running this week.

I'm still off the scale, since Monday. I think the thing that worries me about weighing in only once a week is that if I get on that scale next Monday and I haven't lost more than a few ounces, I'm gonna be royally pissed/majorly sad. Like, the import of a weigh-in seems so much more gargantuan. I think that's why I weigh in daily is because I feel like the disappointment of a bad week that occurred one day at a time might be more palatable, if that makes any sense. I mean, who cares what the scale says, right? Well, I do. Maybe I shouldn't so much, but I do. So, yeah. I think it all ties back in with how I was feeling about lunch yesterday. There's a certain "good" feeling that I get from eating well, but I'm not lying when I say that I really don't feel like I'm that much happier for having done it. I'd so much rather be eating crap. The only thing that makes it worthwhile is the results (that's what it feels like, in my head, anyway.) So if I'm not seeing results, I feel like I'm hanging on by my fingernails to doing what's healthy. I still feel deprived when I don't get to eat chips and chocolate and cream sauce and burgers. Doesn't mean I don't like my new recipes that I try, but darn it, it's not what I really want, most of the time. I want stuff with cheese - and a lot of it. I know, I know, I can have these things - in moderation, and every once in a while. I hate moderation. I hate not eating whatever the heck I want, whenever the heck I want it. Argh, I need an attitude adjustment. I'm trying. The switch has just not flipped from forcing myself every single day, every single decision, to make the right choice, to wanting to do it.

Ha, well, that rant was unexpected. Maybe my brain is fleeing from this lecture so hard that it just vomited here on the forum.
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Joanna

Starting weight: 192.0 lbs (6/19/2011)
Lowest weight: 154.6 (6/25/2012)
Current weight: 164.4 lbs (10/28/2013)
Total lost: 27.6 lbs
Goal: 132 lbs
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