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Old 08-28-2012, 07:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jan 2010
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A boyfriend I had dumped me once upon a time for a much younger girl. I in fact had lost a lot of weight, yet it made no difference. It hadn't been an issue with us because I was not really even overweight, but getting thin made me feel extremely confident, as if nothing could go wrong! Wrong.

If someone does not have the commitment to continue in a relationship, there will be a reason to discontinue the relationship. There was no way that I was going to become a much younger girl. I was what I was, and I was actually slimmer than she was! He cut ties with me, gave me a deadline to move out - the deadline was the day she was moving in. I thought he was the love of my life, and I was his. Wrong again.

I recently heard (perhaps in a film) a very good line: 'It doesn't matter if you've won the Nobel Prize, you are wrong for someone.' So true. Really!

All the comments so far have been great. I'm not saying that this guy didn't love you, or that he doesn't love you. How could I possibly tell? But having someone say basically, 'this doesn't work because of (fill in the blanks)' and then not say, 'but I love you so what can I do so we can deal with this together?' closes the conversation and gives you a kind of ultimatum. It could have been 'because you're too old,' 'because you don't make enough money,' 'because I don't like the way you walk/talk/drink/eat/sleep/drive/dance.'

Your weight is something you must deal with for your own satisfaction. Your relationship is a whole other matter. I am hoping so hard that you will weather this storm and sail on confidently to other things, other people, and happiness!

You wrote: ' we have been arguing more than usual due to not seeing each other much because of his shifts at work and not been considerate of each others feelings' Maybe that's all it is - not seeing each other and reaffirming what it is drew you together in the first place. You could say that and see if he thinks that is in fact the case. Then, you need to spend more time together and test out the waters to see if he's really unhappy or just being thoughtless and hurtful.

Last edited by Kathy13118; 08-28-2012 at 07:42 PM.
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