Checking on some statistics from the Centers for Disease Control, they indicate that 33.9% of adults 20 and over are obese. 34.4% are overweight but not yet obsese. Combine these two and you have a majority (68.3%) being either overweight or obsese. These people are still finding mates so weight cannot be a sole determinant under the "laws of attraction". In a previous post I had mentioned waist to hip ratio. I will try not to be too nerdy here. Men like curves and overweight and even obese women can have them. Men and women alike are attracted to signs of fitness for reproduction. This does not mean that you are looking to produce a child with everyone you are attracted to, but what we find attractive is based on our evolutionary past. Things like clear eyes in both sexes, broad shoulders in men and developed breasts in women are attractive. We like signs of health and reproductive fitness. A preteen female will have straight hips similar to a boy, but when she enters puberty, she will grow taller, her waist will narrow and her hips will flare, creating a shape that the male brain responds to. It indicates that she is reproductively ready. Now I am vastly over simplifing here and there are lots of other indicators. I am just saying that what you see in the mirror as being unattractive does not mean the opposite sex sees it as so. Also, of course, every individual has their preferences. There is no single standard of beauty, though the fashion industry would lead you to believe so.
I do not feel we "coddle" the overweight in this country. We live in a society where food is cheap and abundant. We have access to calories like no other society in history and again, our evolutionary past has much to do with our response to food. We have industries devoted to selling you as much of their food as possible and we are subjected to advertising constantly (fitday). Food is not just fuel either, there is a social aspect to sharing meals and a dieter will often feel deprived when they feel they are not fully participating in a social meal. This month was terrible for me diet-wise, but I had a couple of things to celebrate, I had a birthday and my daughter was released from jail. I monitored my calories and did not gain or lose weight, but I did not try to deny myself on special days. I knew what I was doing and I am ok with it.
There is huge pressure in this society to not only be at a healthy weight but to look a certain way. I feel for you ladies because the pressure is even greater than on men.
What motivates one person will not necessarily motivate another. We have to find our true path and if there are others supporting us along the way, that is even better.