Originally Posted by Borg-mx5
I thought I might give you a male perspective on your post.
1. This also happens to men. I recently went back and collected all my old bicycling jersys. Now if you don't know about bicycling clothes, they are generally skin tight and if you have a great body you can look amazing in them. I can't fit them anymore. Some of my dress clothes, nope, don't fit either. Here I am still wearing fat clothes and while I have lost some weight, I am not even one size down yet. I know it will take a long time. Men are vain.
2. You are being treated like a normal person. Believe me, men do not have high standards. I could and should write a book about how men respond to women. I work in a public environment which allows me to see what happens to every male when a great looking woman walks in. It is not the same as when an average woman walks in, and if you think men are judging you about how fat you are, think again. Men like women in all sizes. I know women feel better about themselves when they feel more attractive to the opposite sex, but then again so do men. I do not think I will ever be anyone's idea of a handsome guy, but I know I can do better. What both sexes find truly attractive is confidence and we should have that regardless of size.
3. I think you are putting the cart before the horse. I get upset when I do not have a clean home. I do it myself. I think that if you commit to getting your home in shape, you will find that you have more resolve to losing the weight. Accomplishments matter so get going on it.
4. I understand but your kids do come first. You must be a role model and example to them. I know it is hard. I raised two kids too. Most of the time I was fat and if I could, I would have done it for them. My mistake.
5. I hate photos in general, but especially when I am like this. In the film "The Matrix", they introduce the concept of "residual self image", that is we see ourselves as being in a fixed stage in our lives. I see myself thinner, younger and certainly with more hair. Every time I see myself in a photo or video, I am shocked. I think I should focus on the event being celebrated and the fact that I am there, not on how I look. Tough to do though.
I think you are probably much harder on yourself than others. I suspect you have a loving family and great friends who don't define you by your dress size.
Go ahead and lose weight. You will feel healthier and psychologically better, but always remember you are not what you weigh. You are a whole person with emotions and experiences and an enormous amount of love to give.
That is the real you.
Thank you so much for your response, Joe. Proving that not all men are jerks. I've been searching on the internet to find out what is and isn't attractive to men, and the first thing anyone says is "overweight gals need not apply!" It's like they have no hearts. They could be really missing out on something very beautiful because they only want a "cookie cutter" gal. I'm not looking for anyone, obviously, but just doing some research. I never attracted many guys that would admit it, but I never thought of myself as unattractive. My face has always been nice to look at, but maybe it's the confidence thing. Never did have much of that. Your last paragraph made my day. Just wanted to say thank you!