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Old 07-20-2012, 05:43 AM   #6 (permalink)
Borg-mx5
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 37
Default Understanding.

Quote:
Originally Posted by differentinside View Post
Okay, so here I am again, overweight. Three years ago I actually did it... got down to size 4 (I'm a lady) and 145 pounds. Now I'm right back where I started, 208 pounds and size 14. So, although I am the same person inside, I have had such different experiences having been fat and thin, and I've learned that thin girls definitely have more fun, and I want to be thin again. So here are some little tidbits of info that are really getting under my skin about being overweight, and I thought I'd share them.

1. Getting dressed totally sucks for a fat girl. I used to pull ONE outfit out of my closet when I was thin. It looked great. I was ready to go. Nowadays, I've got half the closet pulled onto the bed before I finally just settle on an outfit that feels good. Then, I try not to look into any mirrors as I go about my day.

2. Men treat me totally different than they did when I was thin. They held doors for me. They joked around with me. Do I want guys hitting on me? NO WAY! I'd just like it if when I walked into AutoZone, the guy behind the counter would look up from his copy of PlayBoy and wait on me. That would be nice. I'd like to be treated like a normal person, not some disgusting blob who has let herself go. Men are naturally shallow and their standards are high, and no, I don't want to go through life being unattractive to them. People may say that's not right and I should be doing this for myself. But think about it, and you'll see what I mean, ok?

3. My house is a mess right now. When I was thin, I kept my house in order. I felt good enough to do it. When I'm completing a project at home, I rarely feel hungry. Funny how a clean house and a "clean" body go hand in hand.

4. My kids and I had fun when I was thin. We ran together. We went out and did things outside. Now the poor kids are subject to sit in the house because overweight Mommy doesn't feel like doing anything. That's not fair. And now my older son is starting to put on pounds as well which is not good for him at all.

5. Photos. I could have screamed when I saw myself in my sister's wedding photos a week ago. And of course all those photos went on facebook, for everyone to see. So they see the fat I was trying to hide by only posting pics that were flattering and didn't show my double chin were hoaxes. I feel a lot like a big, fat version of Pinnochio right now. It's very embarrassing. My husband wants to get photos done at Christmas. We need to, but if I see anymore fat photos of me, I'm going to die.

When you're overweight, life is a struggle. The only thing some people see is my fat. So I have to get rid of it and get my life back. I'm hoping this site helps me. I am ready to feel good again, and be the person I feel like inside.
I thought I might give you a male perspective on your post.

1. This also happens to men. I recently went back and collected all my old bicycling jersys. Now if you don't know about bicycling clothes, they are generally skin tight and if you have a great body you can look amazing in them. I can't fit them anymore. Some of my dress clothes, nope, don't fit either. Here I am still wearing fat clothes and while I have lost some weight, I am not even one size down yet. I know it will take a long time. Men are vain.

2. You are being treated like a normal person. Believe me, men do not have high standards. I could and should write a book about how men respond to women. I work in a public environment which allows me to see what happens to every male when a great looking woman walks in. It is not the same as when an average woman walks in, and if you think men are judging you about how fat you are, think again. Men like women in all sizes. I know women feel better about themselves when they feel more attractive to the opposite sex, but then again so do men. I do not think I will ever be anyone's idea of a handsome guy, but I know I can do better. What both sexes find truly attractive is confidence and we should have that regardless of size.

3. I think you are putting the cart before the horse. I get upset when I do not have a clean home. I do it myself. I think that if you commit to getting your home in shape, you will find that you have more resolve to losing the weight. Accomplishments matter so get going on it.

4. I understand but your kids do come first. You must be a role model and example to them. I know it is hard. I raised two kids too. Most of the time I was fat and if I could, I would have done it for them. My mistake.

5. I hate photos in general, but especially when I am like this. In the film "The Matrix", they introduce the concept of "residual self image", that is we see ourselves as being in a fixed stage in our lives. I see myself thinner, younger and certainly with more hair. Every time I see myself in a photo or video, I am shocked. I think I should focus on the event being celebrated and the fact that I am there, not on how I look. Tough to do though.

I think you are probably much harder on yourself than others. I suspect you have a loving family and great friends who don't define you by your dress size.
Go ahead and lose weight. You will feel healthier and psychologically better, but always remember you are not what you weigh. You are a whole person with emotions and experiences and an enormous amount of love to give.

That is the real you.

Joe
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