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Old 05-22-2012, 08:45 AM   #1 (permalink)
mamas0407
FitDay Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 4
Unhappy I feel like a failure....

I gained 30 lbs during my pregnancy last year, which brings my total to around 60 lbs since I've turned 30 (I'm 33). Throughout my pregnancy I ate like a pig and barely got off the couch but I vowed to go bootcamp-style after she was born and work it all off within three months. HA! I dropped around 30 lbs immediately after delivery, but within months I gained back 20 lbs. It's over a year later and I can still fit my maternity clothes! And I'm ashamed of myself. My family teased me, making mean and insensitive comments when I was pregnant because I gained soooo much. Now, since I haven't lost the weight, I feel uncomfortable and ashamed, so I avoid them. 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and even my daughter's first birthday, I isolated us and made excuses to stay away. But it's not fair for me to isolate my daughter and keep her from people who love her because I won't stop eating. What's worse is I self-sabotage constantly. I diet, lose some weight, then I go off the deep end. My husband makes indirect comments so I know he's losing patience with me, and I feel bad about myself, but still I do nothing to change. I look at pictures from a few years ago and burst into tears- when we met I was a size seven. I'm now squeezing into a 14. I feel unhealthy and fatigued all the time, and I want so desperately to change but I just feel stuck....
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