I completely understand your postition . As I was in the same boat a year ago. i was overweight, unhealthy, unhappy , and very depressed. The good news is with a consistent and dedicated change I am happier, healthier and in what I consider to be great shape. It took hard work , dedication and a willingness to completely change my lifestyle and how I viewed food and excercise. I am a better Father, husband and employee. It is funny because a year ago my job was on the "Bubble" because of my attitude and now I just spoke to my boss and she informed that if there was an opportunity to move up i was her first choice. But I didn't make this change for any of that. To remain successful my opinion is you have to do this for yourself. This was my approach and still is. i enjoy all the benefits from this idea. Because of that my motivation to stay healthy and to even get healthier remains strong even with my success. This for me is the key to the equation. Everyone has to find their own way and it seems to me you have an athlete in you. You just have to find away to keep that person in front of you and put the old you behind. keep your eyes on the prize and you will succeed.