nobe

Hi there!

I'm new (I actually started [again] with Fitday February 1st, but just noticed the forums a couple days ago). I have a question, and then I'll give you a (probably longwinded) bit of background on me.

I noticed that a lot of people on here are eating about 1,200 calories. I averaged out what Fitday and a couple other sites said I should be eating to lose weight, and it was about 1,750 (I'm 5'5 and started at 203lbs), so I'm trying to stay below that, but I find that if I eat much less than that I'm dizzy and lightheaded and irritable. I know quite a bit about nutrition and eating healthy, and like a lot of people have said, I'm eating a lot more than I was with my old crap diet, it's just less calorie-dense.

My question is this: is it normal to feel so weak, and how do you do it on 1,200 calories? A few times I've had 1,400 and could barely move. Do you just accept that you're going to feel terrible, or do you not get this feeling?

I've been slowly but steadily losing weight on around 1,700 calories, so I'm not looking to eat much less than that. I'm down about 8 pounds and have been slowly adding in more exercise. I just don't know how to make fewer calories than that sustainable, and I want this to be my new lifestyle, rather than a quick fix.

Anyway, here's me:

I'm a 34 (almost 35) mother of a two year old. Before he (and my partner) came along, I was always fairly active and didn't have a lot of issues with overeating. My partner has a much bigger weight problem than my current one, and when we got together, within a few months I went from 140 to 165. He was driving me everywhere, when I used to walk, and taking me out every night, when I used to eat at home. I ballooned without even realizing it was happening. Then I got preggo, and didn't actually gain that much (about 20lbs), but the real weight came after he was born. I had post partum depression, I was averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night, and I became addicted to cake/cookies/brownies etc. My partner was more than happy to bring them home for me.

Last spring, an older friend was saying she wanted to lose some weight, and I discovered I had gone up to 210lbs, which was horrifying to me, so we decided to share an online Weight Watchers membership. Since we signed up with her credit card, we agreed that she would use the online food journal. At first I was writing everything on paper and then looking up the points of each food, but it was so tedious and cumbersome that I ended up using Fitday and just using WW for recipes/tips/etc. I lost 10 pounds in 5 weeks. Then I kind of fizzled and didn't gain but didn't lose. Last summer was really stressful and I lost another 10 pounds in about 3 weeks just from not eating, and I knew it would probably come back because it was stress weight. After eating junk like a maniac through Christmas, I discovered that I was back up to 203. I was also having digestive problems from my low-nutrition, high-cake diet.

I'm working part time in retail, which right now mostly means standing, but in another month or two there will be a lot of hauling boxes around, going up and down stairs and ladders, general running around. I try to walk about an hour a day, and most days I've been lifting (3lb) weights for about half an hour. My kid is clingy and always with me so besides the walking, mostly I have to exercise after he's gone to bed. Richard Simmons was fun but a huge failure because it's hard to do with someone hanging off your legs. Last year I bought a Gazelle, and that was fun but a giant safety hazard. So I've been doing weights and calisthenics in the evening. Nothing formal, just getting myself moving. I'm not really good with anything structured.

I have a couple of obstacles in my attempt to lose weight. My partner, who is 350lbs, isn't motivated himself to lose weight, and has been bringing junk in the house and rolling his eyes at the groceries I buy and my cooking and the big bowl of salad on the table every night. It's a constant struggle, even though he doesn't say much, to keep positive about what I'm doing. He doesn't really support me or tell me I'm doing well. I know he doesn't want to be big, but he doesn't want to do anything about it either. I really want him to lose weight because I worry that our kid will end up growing up without a dad, but beyond cooking healthy, I can't force him to change. It feels sometimes like how it would if we were both alcoholics but I was trying to stay sober.

The other obstacle is my mother. She is about 98 pounds, and is constantly calling me fat (which I am, but I know I am, I don't need to be told). Even when I was 140lbs she called me fat. Last year I told her I had lost 20lbs and she just said "pffft, you've got so much to lose that 20lbs doesn't make any difference." She has no understanding of body types and thinks I can be like her if I would just try, but I haven't been 98 pounds since about grade 3. And I wouldn't want to be 98 pounds anyway. For a brief time in college I went down to 120lbs (I was living on 1 package of ramen noodles a day), and people were asking me if I had cancer. I'm not built to be so small. Even at 120 I was still in size 10 pants. My mom thinks I could be in size 2 if I would just put in the effort (because apparently if you eat little enough, you can lose bone!).

Anyway, that's my rant. I can talk to my WW friend about it, but I don't really have anyone else to talk to, so I figured this was a good place to find people to talk about weight issues with. I need more people to support me, rather than put me down.

My ultimate goal is to be back to 140, but I'm doing it in small goals. In February I lost 7 pounds, so I figure I'll take it month by month and try to lose at least 7 each month. That's 50lbs by the end of summer, and I can't turn up my nose at that.

I hope I didn't come across as too much of a giant bummer, and I look forward to finding some healthy life buddies

fit4luv

nobe ~

I love this forum and think you will too. People here are great at putting the welcome mat out. I'm so sorry for the hurt & pain you are experiencing while you work to be healthier.

If you don't want to read advice, then skip.
What I decided to do when starting my health journey as of last December is:
#1. Gather my people reinforcements. For reasons of accountability, fun, educational and for friendship. This forum with variety of threads/ people helps me tremendously. I also found a new medical facility & love it. If there is someone who pulls me down (regardless of blood relation), I either limit contact with them or just work hard at letting go of what they say. I try to remember that it's their problem if they can't be nice.

#2. Thoughts. I work on my thoughts daily. I listen to what I say to myself. This is the reason I keep motivational saying around me. I work at replacing the "stinkin' thinkin'" with balanced & healthy thinking.
--------------------------
You can do it too! And you have already started & made a wonderful turn around!

Please jump in on the other threads.

rpmcduff

It could well be that you are at just too big a calorie deficit for your body when you try to only consume 1200 cal. Some people just can't handle a large deficit. However it could also be WHAT you're eating and not just how much. Your Macro-nutient levels can play a big role in how your feel. In my experience most women get too little protein normally and even less when they diet. Check out the Best Of Series FitDay's Best of Series: Macronutrients Advice (carb-fat-protein %) to see if changing what you're eating could help.

Make long term sustainable changes for a new lifestyle instead of just a 'diet' to get yourself to a healthier you that you can sustain.

nobe

Yeah, it's true - I don't get enough protein. According to the chart I'm averaging about 17%. I don't eat a ton of meat (usually some with every dinner, but a small portion - I get an upset stomach from it), but I have a really yummy recipe for bean salad from WW. I should start making it again.

That's what I'm trying to do, is make changes that I can live with forever, rather than anything extreme that I can't keep up with. I'm at the 5 week mark now, which is when I lost my motivation last year, and I'm still into it. Fingers crossed!

Thanks for the input!

fit4luv

Great post. I believe I'm one of those people that can't handle large deficits. I get sick.
What you say here Ron rings true for me.
I love that philosophy of making changes that you can "live with forever". For me, that's why I keep building upon one habit at a time. So far it's working for me. I'm also one who can lose motivation real fast. For instance, today I had to focus only on one moment at a time.

I invite you to come over to the Woman's Section, if you haven't already, and join us on the 7-Day Motivational Thread (stickied to the top). A new thread is started weekly, but you can post anytime. You can make 1 goal or many goals - it's up to you.

By the way, I'm also planning to lose 50 lbs this year.

Have a great night!

wildbeanerz

You have already made the tough decision to do something about your problem. That is the first and hardest step. The rest is just putting it into motion. Set your mind to it, don't let anyone get you down. You can do this!

Believe me. When I started just over a year ago, I didn't have much motivation but as the weight comes off, your energy level and attitude rise up. It is so worth it! The best thing is seeing your partner who needs help to be inspired by you to want to make changes in their life as well. Mine is almost ready to start making changes. He has exercise challenges though so most of his has to be diet change and that is a huge hurdle for him. He is so encouraging to me though, as are both our sons.

The calorie count has to be high enough for you to feel satisfied and not crash but low enough to allow you a reasonable deficit for the day. You will notice as you lose weight that what you are eating now may need to be reduced to allow you to still have a deficit. As a larger person you burn more calories just walking around & living than a smaller person does. I still eat about 1700-1800 in a normal day. Some days even 2000 and still lose weight but that is because I am still 264lbs. When I get closer to an healthy weight I am sure that I will not be able to eat like that and still lose weight but doing it slow & steady is the way for me. I would not want to lose all my weight in a short amount of time just by starving myself because I wouldn't know what to do to maintain that weight once I got there. I couldn't keep starving myself at that point. This way, I am having a few weeks of little to no loss but not gain either and then I step it up a few notches and get the loss going again. It works for me.

I second the women's motivational thread. That is where I am most often found. Sometimes I don't have time for any other threads but I still find time for that one.

rpmcduff

Don't forget there are other sources of protein besides meat. Eggs, Low-fat cottage cheese, whey-protein (including protein shakes) and of course as you mentioned beans, lentils and legumes.

Thanks for the comments Fit4luv!

nobe

Unfortunately I'm allergic to eggs (which makes me sad every day!). But I do need to start eating more beans and cottage cheese.

nobe

Come to think of it, back when I could eat eggs, I'd have two with cheese and veggie salami on toast every morning before work, and I could go half the day without feeling hungry.

Stupid potential anaphylaxis

wildbeanerz

No personal experience but could you eat egg substitute? Would that have the same protein effect as real eggs?