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Old 02-21-2012, 05:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
FitDay Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: England
Posts: 13
Unhappy Are my supressed memories making me eat this way?

When I joined FitDay last October I was not at my best, Iíd just gone through major surgery after spending many months in agonising pain and was at my largest weight of 176lb. Since then Iím glad to say that I have lost 17lb and am at a healthy weight (although I would like to lose 20lbs more) yet I feel very saddened that I still havenít addressed my dire relationship with food. Iíve been bulimic since I was fourteen, and although I have a better grasp on it now I am never at peace with food. It does feel like Iím fighting a war that I keep losing over and over again, eating normally seems out of the question and I often find myself either starving myself or eating with no control.
In the last two weeks Iíve lost a stone and gone down to a UK size 8 (US 6), which in itself is great. Iíve been on the Cambridge diet so that Iím not completely starving myself. But tomorrow is the first day I will be eating food for breakfast and Iím really scared it will get out of control, like today. Unfortunately I majorly slipped today and ate five cereal bars, a large mug of hot chocolate, fruit bread, butter and a biscuit (which is a lot smaller than a normal binge for me but it is a lot of carbs) Iím very worried that Iíll gain back all the weight in a moment of weakness like this and am determined not to let it happen again. Does anyone have any tips for stopping binging?
My mother is going through therapy at the moment for her weight/eating issues. Like me she has a bad relationship with food which she relates to her childhood. When my Bulimia was discovered by the school I was at they put me into therapy but I left because I found it too unpleasant, however I wonder whether my issues would have been resolved if I had stuck with it. I do feel like there are many underlying issues and in a way I just want closure but am at a loss. Has anyone here had therapy for eating problems? Does it work?
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