Hello everyone! New and ready to start finding myself, ready to live a new life style, ready to become who I was meant to be.
A little about myself: I have always been fat, I've been a fat kid, teen, adult, and now I'm a fat parent. I've had trouble in the past with self estem, but for the most part I knew I was pretty and it didn't really bother me that I was big. I had boyfriends and plenty of friends to keep me happy. I was always told how pretty I was/am, however this went along with all the rude and childish remarks.
A year ago, my life changed. I found that my husband for nine year had multiple affairs since the begining of our relationship. I was devastated and could'nt grasp on to reality. I wanted to die, and a part of me did, emotionally, spirtually, and mentally. But I knew I had to fight it for my childrens sake. My husband and I are trying to work things out, but I found that I can't have him make me happy. The only person that can do this is me.
When I found out about the affairs, I felt like I was the slut. I felt it was my fault, I wasn't a good enough wife, I was fat, I was just plain UGLY!!!! At the same time of me finding out about the affairs I also found out I was pregnant. I didn't gain a whole lot of weight only about 20 pounds and I did manage to lose that after I had the baby.
But even after a year and a new baby with new promises I felt ugly, my self estem was dead and I couldn't see myself doing anything positive for me.
I started going out with a couple of friends and cousins and found that I can make myself happy by being around people that love and support me. I even found that I was still atractive to the really cute guys!
lol...But the important thing that I realized is that I can't depend on anyone to make me happy. I have to do this on my own. I have my self confidence back, my self estem is great and I can truly say I love myself, every inch of my body, every hair on my head. I love me!
Now all I have to do is lose wieight. Something I've always wanted to do. And I want to do it for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!