Kris, WELCOME to the forum! I have to say that reading your post has really touched me today. I am so impressed by your honesty and your positive outlook. I hope you know that you have all the indredients it takes to succeed. I can't even tell you how much I wish that success for you! I really believe you can do it! Plus you are so young and have so much to live for.
I was just sitting here in my workout clothes trying to motivate myself to go to the gym. Almost one year ago I lost my dad too. He had a horrible disease, Lou Gehrig's, and suffered enormously but he was the bravest man I have ever known. It is coming up on the one year anniversary of his death and I am finding myself feeling really really sad and kind of depressed lately. I just want you to know that your post really hit home and has motivated me to get up and go now!
By the way, I'm Canadian too. Where are you in Canada? I live in Montreal.
Have an amazing day!