View Single Post
Old 02-19-2010, 07:46 AM   #1 (permalink)
alittlebitsassy
FitDay Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 6
Thumbs up New to FITDAY...

Hi!
I am new to FITDAY and am looking for support in my weight loss journey.
First off a little back ground info on me..
My husband died from Brain Cancer 6 years ago after a valiant 7 year struggle. During that time I put on approx 50lbs... my main concern was to keep him comfortable and to honor his wishes of dying with peace, grace and dignity in his own surrounded by his family and friends but most of all his 2 children and me. It was the most difficult period of my life, or so I thought at the time.
One year after his death I woke up one morning and decided it was time to take control of my life again. I joined a weight loss center and lost 50lbs. It felt great to feel sexy again and from that adventure I decided it was time to start dating again as I was only 44 yrs old. I dated some real winners let me tell you! It was an experience I wouldnt want to do again and yet I wouldnt trade that time in my life for anything! In January 2007 I met a wonderful man and life was good again, or so I thought. In Feb 2007 I was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer at the same time my son was diagniosed with a Grade 3 Melanoma...he was just 22 yrs old. As I was undergoing radiation and chemo, he was undergoing radical surgery as the Cancer had spread to his Lymph Nodes. My son at that time decided he wanted no further treatment. I was devastated, I didnt know how I was going to go on from there. I am Cancer free but my son will fight this the rest of his life. He is a very strong young man and has very set opinions on what he will do in terms of treatment. The sad thing is, he and his sister watched their father die a very horrible death, he lost all memory of his kids and me, he was a stranger in our home. Near the end, we fed him and changed him as you would a baby, life went full circle for him. He died at home in our arms but from that my son made his treatment choices and that was to not have treatment. He did not want to die the same way his father did.
Well, some 3 years later, my son is doing well, he is married and very happy and my daughter just got married last August... she asked my son to walk her down the aisle. It was the proudest moment of my life.
So how did I end up 45 lbs over weight again...I was so sad I ate...my boyfriend has stood beside me throughout all of this chaos and turmoil. I told him I would understand if he turned around and ran the other way! He said he was in it for the long haul. He is a fitness addict...he eats healthy and works out daily, he inspires me to be more and do more. Well, about 2 weeks ago he dropped a bomb on me...he has been having some "intimacy" issues and one night he told me that I dont have the body I had when he met me and that his issues were not all of his fault. I cried for days, how could the man I love be so shallow. The sad thing is he is right...I have been complaining to him for months about my weight and how "unsexy" I feel.
So, from this horrible event I have decided it is time to take back control of my life again. I am eating healthy and exercising again. I have a home gym so there is no excuse! I do have osteoarthritis in both knees so I can no longer run like I used too. I am now swimmikng 3x a week, 25 laps each time and am enjoying it immensely! the only problem is I want INSTANT results and am frustrated as I am not getting them! I am 49 now and had surgery in Dec 09 so am just getting back into my exercise regime after a 6 week break, I am also in the throws of menopause amd think this has a great deal to do with my slow results!
I am looking for strenght and friendship...
I know this is very long and I do apologize for that, buit I think we need to be honest and accountable with ourselves about how we got to where we are today.
I am looking forward to making some wonderful new friends on this journey and am also looking forward to helping others achieve their dreams as I will mine!
Thank you for taking the time to read this!
alittlebitsassy aka Diane
alittlebitsassy is offline   Reply With Quote