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Old 12-16-2010, 06:08 PM   #8 (permalink)
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tavisha's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Arizona
Posts: 15

Hello BD,

My story is almost parallel to yours. I started on this weight loss journey because of a man. We met online and when I finally met him face-to-face in October, it was a disaster. Even though I had lost a bunch of weight by the time we met (25 lbs, I think), it was still not enough. He completely rejected me and it was the most humiliating experience of my life. Like you mentioned, I know that if I had kept myself in better shape I would be with the man of my dreams right now.

But, I've managed to continue on with my weight loss efforts. I'm down by 35 lbs. now. I'm beginning to discover some interesting things about the whole scenario now that I couldn't see at the time:

1. That guy who I loved isn't physically perfect either, yet I saw beyond his flaws and loved him in spite of them. I honestly didn't see his physical flaws until recently. It's true that love is blind.

2. I'm not the ugly troll that he made me feel like I was. When I see myself now, I actually think I'm kinda hot.

3. I can NEVER let another person define who I am ever again. I let him influence me too much about how I felt about myself.

4. He has a lot of problems I didn't see at the time. He has since passed up on a couple of very beautiful women because of their physical flaws. I see a pattern in HIM that has nothing to do with me. I think he's not ready for a relationship, so he finds reasons to push people away (reasons which are their fault, of course).

I still love him, but I have a much better perspective on what REALLY happened now than I did at the time. I used to think that I wasn't good enough for him - exactly like you mentioned above. Now, I'm not sure he's a good person for me. I don't say that in an angry, vengeful sort of way. It's just that time has given me a different perspective on things and I really want to be with someone who has more realistic expectations about their partner, who will love me while I'm in a state of process (not only when I'm at my best), and someone who wants to share the journey getting there with me.

July 2010: 216 lbs., sz 24
December 17, 2010: 180 lbs., sz 14
Total Weight Loss: 36 lbs.
1st Goal: Get out of the "obese" category on the BMI chart. Goal met. Yay!
2nd Goal: 154 lbs. - Get out of the "overweight" category on the BMI chart. Target date is March 5, 2011.
Final Goal: 130 lbs - fit into a size 6 "goal dress" I bought. It's an amazing White House Black Market silk dress that I stare at every day to remind me where I'm going.
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