Need to change before I'm dead
I'm 35. I've been fat all of my life, from when I was very young until now. This has been true for every year of my life with two exceptions, one of those exceptions being insignificant and the other being the result of one mere month of very hard work. I ate 1200c a day and trained regularly and lost a shocking amount of weight. I remember someone I hadn't seen in about a month telling me "You look like half the person you were!" I could do a pull up. I remember that best. I was at work, jumped up and grabbed a ceiling beam, and pulled myself up a couple times. It was a first ever. At that point in time I was about 255 to 260, on my way down. And then I stopped. I don't know why or what the reasons were other than life long habit and ritual, but I stopped eating well and working out. And now...
I am 35 and weight 347. I got on the gym scale earlier tonight and just couldn't f****g believe it. How did I get to 347? I sank. It mine as well be 400lbs and why even bother? But I got on the elliptical for 30 minutes and lifted heavy compound lifts for 30 minutes none the less, and was reminded of how terribly out of shape I am.
I have a dangerously large gut. I know the health risks. I already feel like s**t most of the time and my sleep is rarely restful. I feel BIG, in my house and car, at restaurants. I've often read forums and blogs where people wonder out loud how it is they could have gotten so out of control, and now I wonder it to.
And I wonder why I should even bother. Any kind of success is so far away. Even by drastic measures I'll only be 300 lbs by March. 300 lbs!
But I've got to do it because if I stay this way or get worse I'm dead and I know it. And even if I'm dead next year for some totally random reason, I want to experience some part of my life as a thin person.
I haven't weighed under 250 since early high school. I've lifted heavy and done martial arts on and off all of my life so I have something to work with. Now I wonder what's the best way to go about it.
My plan for the next month is to do something akin to the Velocity Diet. Low calories and low carbs for 30 days to get started, and while many may eschew this method I need a jump start and I need it badly. There's no way it can be more harmful to my health than the amount of fat I have on my body.
Any advice is welcome!
Last edited by 01gt4.6; 12-09-2010 at 06:51 PM.
Reason: obscene language