J., I think what you said about the diet you couldn't stick with is very important. It can be the best, most effective diet in the world, but if it's not something you can stick with, it will do you no good. It takes some experimenting, but if you can find what works for you personally...well, that's more than half the battle. A lot of folks will post what works for them; it's great to read their suggestions, and some of them may be perfect for you. But don't force it if it's not. Keep trying till you find your pattern.
About that portion control...do you have a food scale? They aren't too expensive and are really worth it. Also, little things like serving yourself and then putting the bag or box or plate away could also help. I've even gone so far as to give the food to someone else to hide and divvy things out to me bit by bit if it's something I know I can get carried away on. Or I buy a flavor I like but not love...so I can stop after a serving. After I eat, I chew some gum, brush my teeth, or have a cup of tea or something to signal my brain that eating time is over.
That's what I could think of for now. Glad to see you popping back in. You can probably find a bunch of other threads to chime in on, too. No membership requirements and everyone is very friendly and welcoming. Good luck; you can do this!
And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good.