Welcome to Fitday JennSturd!
You are sbsolutely right that you need to do this for you. I don't have a husband so I don't know what that means (lol) but I do know that ultimately I only have me, to 100% rely on. You have to want it bad enough to actually do it.
You can keep your food log private, so just be honest with yourself and you can do it.
"Just Do It"