Hi Melissa! How are you? I think Cassie's suggestions are great about making changes slowly. I was always in the same boat as you: depriving myself and then "falling off the wagon". I thought that was the only way for me to lose weight. Since I joined fitday I've realized that I can actually have more calories than I thought, but it just has to be under what I'm expending. Logging everything (e.g. food and daily activities like sleeping and exercising) has been super helpful to me. It gives me a better grasp of where I stand with consuming vs. burning calories. I think once you start that you'll realize it's easier than you thought. While I try to eat healthy, I now know that I can really eat whatever I want, as long as it's below what I'm burning. I used to think it was all or nothing, and now I realize that it's okay to have a "bad" snack...as long as I don't have a bunch of bad snacks.
I hope this might help a little. I'm also looking for support on this site, so hopefully we can help each other out!