I feel your pain. Today is my first day on fitday. I also love to cook and love to eat. I also deal with portion control issues.
I am taking the approach, "One good decision leads to another." I invited myself on a walk this morning with friends from church. They were talking about it, and I asked if I could invite myself. It felt really good (and I do not like to sweat!).
As far as the self-image issue goes, I suggest that you go get a new haircut, buy some inexpensive make-up, and give yourself a make over. But, just losing weight and changing on the outside will not improve your self-image, you have to make changes on the inside. Tell your husband that you need his help. If he can tell you how pretty you are and how much he loves you daily, that can help your self-image.
Good Luck and know that I am on this journey with you!