I also tried WW a couple of times and I just don't enjoy the points system. It's a hassle to carry around little charts and I feel like it's a gimmick to "dumb it down" for people who don't want to count calories. In the end you're still counting, just with smaller numbers so it amounts to the same.
Almeeker gave you some great advice! Thanks Almeeker, I think you are doing amazing. I just got started here myself but I have gained and lost hundreds of pounds in my life. The times I have been the most successful are the times I stuck it out for a long time. I had to set mini goals for myself and avoid thinking about the long term on a daily basis.
Always just look at the next step ahead of you. For instance, I am 5'2" and I weigh 196 pounds right now. I wear a size 16 and I have made myself miserable over it. I have beaten myself up emotionally for months. My first step had to be stopping that immediately and focusing on all the good things about me. Insulting myself wasn't going to get me anywhere. Second step, I had to do something proactive about my health. I had to improve my lifestyle for myself and my own well-being. I found an exercise program that I thought I'd like. It's called Couch to 5K and it turns out I love it. Making improvements physically has helped me tremendously with my self esteem. I cannot stress enough, that your first step has to be a commitment to stop insulting yourself in your head.
Boy do I know what the dressing room meltdown is like. I bet you everyone here knows that trauma! So, you came to the right place. Check in every day, ask questions, vent, and tell us about your small victories. Every time you achieve one of your mini goals, spoil yourself to a new pair of earrings, a handbag, an article of clothing, a movie, a massage, whatever you can do to make yourself feel looked after and treasured. It sounds hoaky but you have to work on feeling good about who you are and everything you have accomplished that's good. Check out the thread What do you love?
Best of luck to you, Gamegirl, just remember you are not alone in this. There are way too many of us out here that are in the same boat you're in.... but there's strength in numbers!