I am appalled at what happened to you! These were adults? WTF?
Don't take them to heart, they are obviously disturbed people. 53 lbs is amazing.
Also, stop beating yourself up NOW! Just start over. The past is the past. Take a look at your diet plan? Does it make you feel deprived? I've learned that for me, if I find ways to indulge on a regular basis, I don't go crazy nearly as often as if I feel deprived. I LOVE food of all kinds, so saying no isn't easy.